Weddingbee boards

ok, so i am going to be an attendant in a good friend's wedding to his partner of a year and a half.  i have been with my partner for five years, and we got married in SF before prop8.  we never had a celebration though, and we had only one witness, and no photography, no special celebration afterward (except we went out to lunch).  anyway, i am planning my ceremony for friends and family for labor day weekend of next year, and when my friend asked if i would be in his wedding, i said yes, but i let him know that i was peeing (marking my territory) on labor day weekend.  no prob, he says, we are thinking of the end of next year.  ok, great.  so, i get a text from him the other day asking for my address.  i give it to him, and ask why.  oh, just collecting addresses for when we send out our wedding invites...we are thinking of having it late summer/early fall next year.  ahem.  (cue crickets chirping).  like, end of summer/early fall like my ceremony?  like around labor day?  the thing is, i want to support him, but i am not too thrilled about having to worry about his ceremony at the same time as my own, and vice versa.  additionally, i know this may seem silly, but i really think that there are few times in a person's life that can truly be about them, and a wedding time is one of those times.  we never got that with our wedding, and while i am not looking for a ticker tape parade or anything, i do just want to have some time to enjoy the process of my own ceremony without worrying about someone else's right before or after my own.  further, i can't really be as good an attendant as i should be if i have to worry about my own stuff...part of the reason i committed to being an attendant was the fact that the timing was going to work out.  i want his ceremony to be great, and i totally want to support him, but i feel a little weird about this.  is this silly?  am i just being an immature brat?

i would never consider not being part of his wedding, unless he actually scheduled for the same weekend, which i would hope they wouldn't do.  i am sure things will be fine, just wanted to vent for a minute. :-)  and you all are right, i tend to be a worrywart, and i don't even know exactly when his date is yet, so i will save my concerns for if there is actually an overlap.

ok, just an update.  i think things will be fine.  i know some folks were saying it was fine to be attending a wedding shortly before/after theirs, and that is true, but i was concerned because i am actually IN his wedding....which if it was, for instance, the week after mine, would be a bit much to handle, since my mom and siblings will be coming in from out of town, and i will have started my final semester of grad school at that point.  and, as daydreamwanderer had asked, yes for sure we are talking about 2011.  i guess he is just being proactive (more than me, that's for sure)!  anyway, i just took the approach of giving congrats and mentioning that we were rockin and rollin on the planning front too.  it'll be fine...and i am excited because i am a great budgeter, and great at finding deals, and he has great taste, and i would be really happy if we could save each other money in the process or help each other with projects.