Is it a major problem if your SO/FI/DH doesnt get along with your siblings?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How much does it affect you or your your relationship?
    Total dealbreaker, nothing comes between me and my sibs! : (17 votes)
    17 %
    Meh, act cordial and all is dandy... : (72 votes)
    73 %
    Stand up for how you feel, regardless of the relationship! : (10 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    1040 posts
    Bumble bee

    My FI’s older brothers don’t like me, but when we’re around each other, we’re respectful for the sake of everyone else in the room.

    And my FI doesn’t like my older sister, but again, acts respectfully toward her when he has to be around her.

    It’s not been a deal breaker for either of us. I guess it depends on how close you are to your siblings though, and how much you let that affect your relationship with your SO. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @ShabbyChicBee: SO isn’t a fan of two people who are like sisters to me. We grew up together and even lived together part of our childhoods and teenhood.

    Honestly, nope doesn’t bother me much. It did at first because one i was really close with and we always imagined we would live next to eachother and our husbands would be BFFs lol. But you get over it. They will be civil with eachother and that is all I could ask for.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    3097 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    nope. Wouldn’t really care since my siblings are like 9, 10, & 11… Or something I don’t even know :p

    Post # 7
    Member
    238 posts
    Helper bee

    @ShabbyChicBee:  We don’t get along with a couple of each other’s family members.

    For the most part, we’re both cordial and respectful in person. Honestly, it doesn’t bother either of us much. In the past he’s had some issues with my dad, and I’ve had issues with 2 of his sisters AND his mother. It’s kinda funny to think about it now, but things were a little rough for 1-2 months.

    I’ve cut off all contact with them outside of family gatherings/holidays, and he actually gets along with my dad now. Distance and small doses of certain people has worked wonders for both of us 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    1234 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    For me… Yes. There have been some problems between my DH (SO at time) and my only sister while we were all living together. It was really tough on me (well, all of us really) because I felt trapped in the middle unable to “pick sides”. 

    We moved out and some time has passed. Although he won’t admit it to me and they are both respectful towards another, I know she still irks him, lol.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1101 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Not a dealbreaker at all, my brother is a dick, I don’t even like him so I sure as hell don’t expect anyone else to. As so DH’s siblings, we get along great but if we didn’t he wouldn’t consider it the end of the world. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @ShabbyChicBee:  this would have been a dealbreaker for me. My siblings and I are all really close, and he is really close with them. He has his own relationship with them so if there are ever issues, he is comfortable taking care of it himself. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would have a pretty big problem if my siblings detested DH, or he detested them!

    But not being close isn’t a big deal!

    Post # 12
    Member
    7285 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Keep it respectful. I dont believe in forced relationships.

    Post # 13
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee

    @ShabbyChicBee:  for me it’s not a deal breaker because my sisters are not close with me at all. One of my sisters was with an abusive jerk (physically) and the other is also with an abusive  jerk (emotionally) currently. neither of them cared that my mom and my dad and I hated them (and still do) so I wouldn’t really care if they didnt like my SO. On the other hand, with how close me and my mom are if she didn’t like him or they couldn’t atleast get along he would have to go.

    ironically, my sisters are both very catty to my SO (and me, but that’s another issue), probably because my mom adores him  and  they have to see how a real man is supposed to treat his  lady! 

    Post # 14
    welliesMember
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would be disappointed if they couldn’t get along; since they hardly see each other, however, it wouldn’t be a big deal.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1549 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I have 4 sisters… I don’t always get along with all of them… Its natural for him to agree with me or develop his own negative opinions. He is always very nice to their face which is all i ask is that he doesn’t start fights. No biggie.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    5544 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    They don’t have to be bffs but we wouldn’t have made it passed boyfriend if he didn’t at least get along with my sis (and a few of my first cousins who are like my siblings). I have a great relationship with my family and if they had issues with my SO, it would be for a good reason. 

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