Is it a man thing?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

What, exactly, do you want him to be excited about?

Post # 3
Member
7265 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I couldn’t really imagine what having a kid would be like until I actually had one either. I think it’s pretty normal. 

Post # 6
Member
653 posts
Busy bee

He’s a man and he won’t be as outwardly excited as you at first- but i promise once that baby is born you guys will be equally over the moon !

Post # 7
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Lauren267:  yup, definitely similar. I’ve heard about those men who are crazy involved in the pregnancy and with the newborn – mine wasn’t one of them! He’s a complete suck for our kids, but that didn’t happen until after the “infant” stage. 

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

For sure this is my DH. He wants to have kids for sure but is scared and really doesn’t like talking about it a whole lot. I mean, we have had the serious convos, but he’s definitely not as “excited” as I am to start TTC. Sometimes I get jealous of some other DHs that seem to really want to be involved with all things TTC related and those who cannot wait to start, but that’s just not my guy. I still think he will be a fantastic father though when the time comes. Guys are guys but also very different from each other.

Post # 9
Member
1847 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Your wedding is still 8 months away, and TTC isn’t happening until after the wedding… so one thing at a time.. 🙂  Just let me tell you, it will probably really start to wear on him if you keep talking about babies constantly until your wedding!  Try to just enjoy this time in your lives, focus on each other and your relationship now…. 

Post # 10
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

Lauren267:  My FI and I don’t want kids, but I can add a little experience from my dating years. What I can tell you is that very early on in dating guys I would tell them I never wanted kids. Basically I knew that wouldn’t change about myself, and I didn’t want to waste time. You’d think this would be a huge dealbreaker for most guys- I didn’t find that to be the case. 

If I approximate, I dated about 15 guys (some of these only lasted a short while)- in all these guys only ONE said that he wanted kids and that it was a dealbreaker. All of the others were fine with not having kids, some were on the fence before, some expressed relief saying they thought that all women would want kids and that they had to have them, and some were like me and always knew they didn’t want them. 

I don’t think this means that men are trapped into having kids, but I do think men think about it a lot less until they’re actually in the situation. I think most women WANT kids more than men do- I think men are mostly fine with or without them. However, I think for most men this changes if they actually have their own. I think for the most part, once they have them they have trouble imaging their life without them and they love being a dad. I just don’t think they yearn for them before the fact the way many women do. 

Post # 11
Member
13021 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, I think some men are like that.  I love the idea of a infant/baby and all things cute baby but DH is not excited about a BABY at all.  He’s excited about a child – after toddler age. He’s joked around and said, ok it’s all yours until it can talk and really interact and communicate with me. 

Post # 13
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Lauren267:  Has he been around babies?  Do his friends/brothers (if any) have babies?

FI is excited, but he’s the last of his family and one of the last of his friends to be starting a family.  So he’s been around tons and tons of babies, he’s seen his peers become fathers as well as his older brothers.  He knows a bit of what to expect.  

Post # 14
Member
2726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Lauren267:  He might get excited about children and not babies. Not everyone is interested in babies per se although they love their offspring.

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