Post # 1
Our wedding will be 2 and a half months after my fiance’s sister’s wedding. My future mother in law assured me that it is fine. So in the midst of the excitement I chose the date. I’m feeling a little weird now since we are planning a wedding at the same time pretty much. And I definetely don’t want to steal the spotlight. I’m very confused and not sure what to do, change our date, or just leave it as is…
edit – His side of the family will be out of town, since we are getting in my hometown. They do sound very excited because they will get a vacation out of it, but I’m still feeling weird.
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s breaking etiquette. Since there are a few months between the weddings, hopefully things won’t overlap too much. Do you have a lot of guests from out of town?
Post # 4
My sister’s wedding was 6 weeks after mine. She had the same concern as you, and she even asked me. I told her it didn’t matter! You can always ask her if you’re really worried.
Post # 5
Most of the trouble that stems from planning siblings’ wedding close together has to do with money. Two and a half months is plenty of time for potential guests to recoup and be ready for your wedding after your FSIL’s. Plus, if your FMIL is okay with whatever she’s contributing towards your wedding, then you have nothing to worry about :).
Post # 6
No, not bad etiquette. Its only considered a no-no if it puts strain on the parents, and since your FMIL sounds fine with it, I think you’re good to go. 🙂
Post # 7
Nope, I think 6 weeks+ is good… Though I have known many to do them even closer than that.
If you’re worried about making her feel like you’re stealing her thunder, just plan some days to focus on her wedding! 🙂
Post # 8
Nope – the only potential concern would be money for your FI’s family (as your FSIL gets one day for her wedding – not a month or a year), but since your FMIL doesn’t seem worries about the finances, you’re in good shape!
Post # 9
My sister is getting married in October 2011, and I am getting married June 3, 2011. I had been engaged about a year and already set a date when she got engaged. She was really worried about offending me (she is like the sweetest person ever), and has called me at every step to make sure I don’t mind about her plans for a bachelorette, shower, engagement party, etc. She has made a huge effort to keep all of our events really separate. I have super appreciated it, and it has been REALLY nice to have a planning buddy who is just as interested in talking about center pieces and guest lists for hours on end as I am.
I think as long as there is a respectable distance (maybe 2 mo.?) between the weddings, and everyone is careful to let the other shine when its their time, there is no problem!
Post # 10
I was really jealous for a little while because we told his mom last summer that we were thinking about getting married this summer. Then we were sure, and in November we picked July 3.
Then his little bro proposed after us, and they are getting married THIS weekend. It hurt when I found that out, especially because the VERY FIRST THING FMIL said to me when she heard about our wedding was that she accidentally told his little brother’s girlfriend because she couldn’t keep a secret from EVERYONE and so suddenly she was “chomping at the bit.”
They have been dating 4 years as of the wedding date, I think. We have been dating 2 years as of the wedding date. BUT she is 7 years younger than me.
Gosh, from this post it sounds like I’m still jealous. But, I’m finally OK about it. And his mom, she has both her sons’ weddings this year (and her daughter’s college graduation–that’s 3 life events for all her 3 children!) She is actually thrilled.
So, it IS totally ok. Just make sure you discuss it. Or, well, don’t — I never had the chance to talk to the soon-to-be newly weds about it. Hm. I guess my advice sucks.
But, etiquette-wise, you’re all good.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
My brother and nephew-to-be proposed to their girlfriends only a month or two after my FI proposed to me. I’ve been dating my FI for 5 years now (4 years when she proposed). My brother and nephew had been dating theirs for around a year. We waited a year because we weren’t ready, but also my brother ended up marrying last year. My nephew is getting married in Sept of this year, the month that we wanted, but we didn’t pick the date early enough. We decided on Oct, less than a month from my nephew’s date.
Anyway, I guess why I’m posting all this is because you can’t wait. You’ll be waiting forever. Weddings happen all the time. As other bees have posted in many other threads, the bride gets one day. Two months is PLENTY of time, and if your parents assisting monetarily for both in one year isn’t a problem, there should be no problem etiquette-wise.
The other bride may have a few negative feelings (I’ve gone through some weird feelings not wanting to step on future neice-in-law’s toes and feeling like I’ve waited so long, it’s my year or something [totally not rational]), but she shouldn’t hold a grudge or be impolite. 🙂
Post # 11
I don’t think it’s really for the FMIL to say it is ok. She is not the other person getting married. Speak to the bride.
Post # 12
This thread is 4 years old…