Post # 1
All along, Fiance and I have been planning to call the guests from our list who haven’t RSVP’d by the end date (aka. tomorrow). We discussed this with both of our mothers ahead of time, to eliminate any waffling on the idea, and everyone was in agreement.
Apparently, something changed in the past week or so, because my mother now refuses to call any guests who haven’t RSVP’d to the wedding! I’m planning on giving everyone an extra 5 days or so, just in case the mail is running slow–happens a lot where I’m from–but after that, I think it should be game on for the phone calls! Right now, we have about 75 folks we haven’t heard from, and I feel that number is just too high to leave unknown. The caterer is charging PER PLATE, so if these folks just show up, that’s a lot of money we’ll have to shell out unexpectedly!
Mom totally disagrees. She says it is completely rude to call guests who haven’t RSVP’d and just assume they are not coming. When I brought up some of the names, a lot of which were her family who are notorious for not RSPVing and bringing extra guests, she said “They won’t come.” They live here. I would bet a million dollars that they are planning on coming. I do not feel close enough with these people, many of which are her and Dad’s friends that I barely know, to call and see if they are coming. I am getting very frustrated with her, because we are all taking ownership of calling on our guest lists, except her!
Am I wrong about this, is that bad etiquette? I personally think it is more rude for someone who was invited to not RSVP at all…but maybe that’s just me!
Post # 3
It is not bad etiquette. Some people might have forgotte the RSVP and you don’t want to assume they aren’t coming and then not have enough food for everyone.
Post # 4
Not bad manners – you have to know who’s coming!!
Post # 5
Woah just got confused and voted wrong. I voted “No” cause I read the original question – is it bad etiquette to call. Now I reread the poll question – is it ok to call. Count me as a Yes. Of course you can and should call non-RSVP’ers. Some of our non-RSVP’ers had invitations that got lost in the mail, or were Super-apologetic for not responding etc.
Post # 6
Definitely not bad manners. As you said, things are priced per person, and there probably won’t be extra chairs if these people suddenly decide to show.
Post # 7
My mom told me that if they are rude enough to not rsvp then you can be rude enough to call and ask. You will be the one effected if they don’t show up and u paid for them or if they do show up and you didn’t pay for them. I say go ahead and call them I would.
Post # 8
I messed up too! It is okay to call! Maybe you should reword the poll for those of us who get confused! 🙂
Post # 9
Not bad etiquette at all. You need to know and how else will you find out!? People can be forgetful too so they probably will be happy for the reminder!
Post # 10
I should also add that with all of the invites we sent out, we will be just barely under venue capacity if everyone shows up…so it’s not just because of the food, it’s to make sure we have enough seats as well! Both seem pretty important to me!
Post # 11
Reworded the poll, sorry for the confusion 🙂
Post # 12
Nope! You need to know those numbers and sometimes people just forget or loose the rsvp card! Feel free to call, they’ll prob. be glad you did 🙂
Post # 13
But now that makes my answer wrong *sad face*.
Post # 14
Haha! I’ll keep a paper tally here at my desk 😉
Post # 15
I feel like your plan is more than accommodating by even giving them a few extra days. If they can’t bother to RSVP, they shouldn’t be bothered by one phone call.
Post # 16
You are not wrong! I’m not sure if I’d call it bad etiquette or not, but even if it is, I would recommend doing it. We had several people not RSVP (and we gave them a week past the deadline). When we called them, they were not all necessarily no’s. Some people came to the wedding and we would not have known if we hadn’t called. Also, one couple sent it in and it got lost, which was fine but they also sent a $200 check in the RSVP card, and would not have known to cancel it if we hadn’t called- they were actually really grateful we did. Just call!