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When someone says they spent $X on their wedding...

Is it bad if I un-book my friends as photographers???

posted 1 month ago in Etiquette

 
1.
Member
27 posts
Newbee
StinaG   10/10/2010  Toronto, ON

A couple months back my friend offered to do our photos for our wedding. The company she has with her fiance is pretty good, they do pretty good work and they offered to do everything for 400 bucks including engagement shoot. But I'd have to get my prints/album/thank you cards/ everything else done somewhere else (they dont do printing services, they would just give me a hi-res dvd) which in turn would end up costing me an arm and a leg anyways, not to mention the hassel id have to go through to find yet another vendor.

I just found another company on the web that offeres a really good photo package + video within my budget, its obviously not 400 bucks but it comes with prints and everything.

I feel awful telling her I dont want to use her services after shes offered such a great deal, but this other company offers discounts if u book dj and limo with them as well.... so i dont know, i feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place wth this one.

I was thinking of telling her a little white lie. That his parents went ahead and booked the photo/video company without me knowing as a gift, but that i'd still like to pay and use her services for the engagement shoot. Is that wrong?

Is there a better way to go about this?

 

 
2.
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Bee
2,660 posts
Sugar bee
spaniel     

I think it's fine to tell your friend that as much as you appreciate their generosity, you gave it some thought and decided you needed to go with a photographer that does their own printing. I would be surprised if they'd be terribly offended.

 
3.
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191 posts
Blushing bee
bellamargot   10/10/10  fort worth, tx

as a photographer myself, i don't think she'd be offended at all! plus, now she'll be able to enjoy your wedding as a guest! i personally would rather be at a close friends's wedding as a guest than on the job. like you said, you can still have her do your engagement or bridal portraits if you truly love her work. i would be honest and upfront about your reasons and even without knowing her i can almost promise she will be completely understanding :-)

 
4.
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821 posts
Busy bee
oracle   10-02-2010  Los Angeles

You are early enough in your wedding planning where I don't think your friend would take huge offense.  Just be upfront with her and tell her you found a photographer that is offering you all the printing and discounts on other services and you decided to use them.  Make sure you thank her profusely for her gracious offer and tell her you are excited that she gets to be a guest and can relax at the wedding vs. work.

 
5.
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
Miss Pinot Grigio   2009  Indianapolis, IN

The little white lie is definitely the way to approach it. 1) it'll get you the photographer that you *really* want, and 2) it'll let her down easy.

Photography is one of the key ingredients to a memorable day, so definitely get the best your money can buy. Photographs will determine how your day is remembered.

 
6.
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17 posts
Newbee
cathicom   10.17.09  Boston

I would tell your friend that you'd really like her to enjoy the wedding as a guest and not 'working' the wedding. we had a friend shoot our wedding and told him that we'd like him to have a good time as well but i think because of that we missed alot of good photographs.

 
7.
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
PizzutiStudios     Boston Area

Just be careful with these everything under the sun deals.  Make sure the person you are meeting with and the photos you are seeing are in fact from the photographer that will be at your wedding.  I've heard so many horror stories about the couple thinking they hired one person and another actually shows up on your day. Make sure to get this written in your contract. A lot of these companies don't really care about the quality and hire newbies at practically nothing.   Read the fine print and do your homework, research this company for reviews before you sign anything.  

Having a pro is definitely better then friend with a camera, just explain that you would rather her be a guest and enjoy the party instead of working all night. 

Hope this helps,

Ash

 
8.
Member
43 posts
Newbee
aliciareneephotography   4/24/04  New Hampshire

Another piece of info--a pro has (well, *should* have) have access to a professional lab, and will get you much higher quality prints than if you print off Shutterfly, etc.

I would work the "I'm so overwhelmed, and this will just take care of *everything*" angle, plus, "I want you to be there as my friend!"

Also, I *always* take pics for my friends at their weddings--so you might get some from them, anyways!

And definitely try to meet with the people you found online. I can't believe some of the shady stuff that goes on! Make sure you're 100% comfortable with them before saying no, thanks to your friend. And congratulations!

 

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