Weddingbee boards

We are planning on having an adults only reception. It just works better with our guest list- my parents have friends with alot of kids which would cause us to need a larger space than what we've found that we like. The only children we will be having at the reception are my cousin's little girl who will be our flowergirl and a good friend of FI's who is the ringbearer.

We are just planning on having just the invited individuals names on the RSVP card.

Kids would push us way over our space limit, so we just went with a straight-up no kids rule and will not have any in the wedding party.  We're also doing the "# of seats have been reserved in your honor" deal on the RSVP, so hopefully the adults will get the hint.

I think for immediate family kids and wee members of the bridal party, it should be understood that they are the exception.  I'm glad I don't have to worry about that, though.  People get very easily offended about anything having to do with their kids.

I think Martha got a question in the latest issue of MSWs about this, and she said (or Darcy) that wording it "Adult Only Reception" is rude. She said that you should write the invited names and have an allotted seat number (a la ClareBee), which is a more subtle way of telling the kids they need to stay home.

I disagree, though. Martha is not always right (GASP). I think writing "Adult Reception to Follow" or any of those other "Adult Only" wordings are perfectly acceptable nowadays. Don't let other parents bully you, though. I think there was a post recently about parents who wrote in their child's name in on the RSVP card despite the clear absense of the child's name on the invitation. Give them suggestions for babysitters by word of mouth or website and be done with it.

If its a destination wedding, things get tricky. But I have no knowledge of what to do in that case.

I think its fine to have his sister there and no other kids. She's apart of the bridal party and she's HIS SISTER, not a cousin's kid or a friend's kid. Just make sure she's the ONLY one, otherwise your family will think you weren't being fair.

I don't have kids, though, so maybe parents can weigh in on the best ettiquette for this situation.

I'm a mom. My children are (usually) very well behaved. I love them dearly.

Weddings are not the best place for them. There is too much "expected behavior"--sitting quietly, waiting, etc., etc., and most weddings go well past their bedtimes. It's like setting them up to fail. And, honestly, I like having an evening with my husband. I am not--at all--offended when my children aren't invited.

The reserved seats in your honor idea is the best I've heard. Honestly, though, I think if people are going to breach etiquette and try to bring uninvited guests, they're going to do it, regardless of what you write.

Another thought: If you're OK with having children at a daytime shower or at the ceremony, it might be worth a "clarifying" phone call to folks you think might try to bring the wee ones: "Hi, so-and-so. I just wanted to let you know that even though we're not having kids at the reception, they're more than welcome to come to the ceremony. I know how fun it can be for little girls to see a real, live wedding!" (or something similar).