Post # 1
… And how do I say that on the invitations?
Nobody really close to us has small children- but his distant family has bunches of kids who reaaaaaaaaaaally like to scream and throw food.
I feel like a bee-otch… but I don’t want ’em. The last thing I want is to be pelted with wedding cake while wearing my wedding dress. Or ever, actually. Or having kids running around on the dance floor during our first dance.
Is there a nice way to say it? “Don’t bring your brats” just lacks that certain something….
His sister is 8, and is going to be our flower girl in the wedding. Perhaps I could add a “No children under 8 years old, please” to the invitation? If I were a mother, I don’t think I’d be offended by that…
Post # 3
I’ve been to many weddings that had no children besides the wedding party!! You will not seem rude at all.
Post # 4
You can have a no children rule but still include your FI sister because she is in the wedding party and immediate family.
The best way to word it is to write Adult Reception on the invitation and website. Also, only invite the parents by name and put only the parents names on the RSVP card!
Post # 5
Ok… maybe I don’t feel so bad now. We’ll see how the FMIL takes it!
Thanks for your input!
Post # 6
From my experience so far and from FSIL’s experience, there are people who get REALLY offended by this. But it’s perfectly fine. I don’t think it’s your problem if anyone is offended. I chose not to use the “adult reception” wording and instead I left the children’s names off the invitation, and the reply card states the number of seats I’ve reserved for them. So it should be pretty obvious. My wedding website also has a section about how they can coordinate babysitting.
Post # 7
we’re not having any kids at our wedding, and we kind of had to spell it out for pushy family members. We wrote on our website and will also put on our weddings, ” Please plan accordingly as this is an adult only event”. Sure some people will get offened, but you cant always please everyone.
Post # 8
I dont think its bad at all to have an adult only reception. We are going to have adults only except our ring bearer (nephew) and his sister (who will be a little over 1) and then our flower girl who is my fiances niece-in-law (and is really too adorable!) BUT I think the etiquette is that you should not say that it is an adults only reception. You should just address the invitation to whom you are inviting (SO Mr. and Mrs. Smith instead of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family) and then like ZoeKat said just have the number of seats reserved on the RSVP card. You could set up babysitting if you choose and then you could inclue some info about this or if you have a website you could put a section for it on there. You will probably get some phone calls from people clarifying if their kids are invited and it might be awkward but youll just have to be polite and tell them the situation. Good luck!
Post # 9
I dont think its right to allow some children and then not others. Its either an adult event or not. I would be offended if someone didnt invite my children, but when I showed up other children were there. Also I dont think its bad to say its an adult only event. Some people assume kids are allowed and unless you specifically tell them otherwise, theyre going to bring them. We talked it over with our wedding planner and she said its perfectly acceptable to state its an adult event in the invitations.
Post # 10
My 3 sons will be at our ceremony but not the wedding luncheon. They don’t really have an interest in being there…theyre 13,11 and 9! So needless to say they’ll be bored! We put on our invites and wedding webpage:
We respectfully request this be a “kid free” weekend!
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
You can certainly have no children at your wedding… by indicating “Adult reception” or “Adults only reception” on your invitation or reception card. Apparently “No children” is verboten.
Post # 12
We didn’t invite anyone under the age of 16 to our wedding ceremony or reception. We didn’t write anything on the invitation, but spread the word to all the parents ahead of time. We also made sure to address the invitations to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe instead of The Doe Family, so that they knew exactly who was invited. IME, most people were fine with this. We spun it to our friends with kids that they could have a fun, grown-up night out and most of them were happy to do that. The only person who really had a problem with it was my MIL, but she got over it. 😉
Post # 13
I don’t think it is rude at all. The only reason I am allowing children is because I have A TON of family flying in and they all have little ones so I can’t say, come to my wedding but leave the munchkins at home! I have received many invitations that clearly state “No chilren please”. You gotta get the message out because people WILL bring their kids!
Post # 14
I actually had family members emailing me to ask if their children would be invited…just weeks after getting engaged, before I’d even thought about a guest list. They were so upset with FSIL for her adult reception. They wrote things like, “After her wedding, I just HAVE to ask you if I will be able to bring my children.” It’s really important to remember that no matter what you do, someone will be unhappy with your decision. You gotta do what will make YOU happy.
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club
Like the others have been saying, you can certainly indicate “Adult Only Reception” on your invites…it isn’t rude! Thankfully, most of our guests don’t have young children, so it isn’t a problem…we are just having our flower girl and ring bearer, who are Mr. Buttons’ niece and nephew. Yes, it is one exception, but they are the only ones…
Post # 16
You may offend some people, but if it’s what you want, then go for it. I’m not personally a fan of the “adut only” wording on the invite. Etiquette-wise, if you just list the parents on the envelope, then that indicates that the kiddos aren’t on the list.