Is it bad to want to move back home?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

To me, overbearing parents AND no separate space is a deal-breaker. I don’t care how much money I could save, it would affect our relationship negative way and I’d rather be happy and on a budget than miserable and debt free. But that’s just me!

Post # 4
Hostess
2920 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@figgnewton:  Well, we certainly never wanted to live with my mom but when we lost our home to a major flood in April we didn’t have many options.  We have been here about 2 months now, it’s not awful. We are saving a ton of money and my mom mom works frequently (we are on a hiatus currently). Her house is big enough that we don’t cramp each other and she stays out of our way for the most part. She also always unloads and reloads the dishwasher AND goes grocery shopping twice a week. There is a constant supply of free food. Plus, she has a cleaning lady. Pretty sweet, lol. Don’t get me wrong she is totally annoying some times (most times) but it’s just something I’ve learned to deal with.  There are certainly worse places to live!

 

FI locked himself downstairs for about the 1st week. Slept down in the basement, worked on his computer down there, everything.  Eventually, he realized we were gonna be here a while so he better get used to it! Now we all interact together well. I usually make dinner for all of us and he does manly projects (chain sawing down trees and sledge hammering) for my mom which she REALLY loves!

My mother is extremely overbearing as well, but anything can be done for a limited time. Just think of the money you would be saving! Even for 6 months. That is a solid chunk of change. You can do it. I say go for it.

 

Post # 5
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s not Bad to want to move back home but it’s not my idea of what marriage is about. To me, marriage is establishing and maintaining our own home, making a life for our family apart from my parents.

Post # 6
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

We are actually doing that right now. My husband got a job transfer back to our home state, so we are moving in with family there. It is going to help us pay all our debt off and save big time! It is so worth it. And, I will have help with the kids. It is nice. Honestly, you know your family and if you could live with them. It is all up to you!

 

Post # 7
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@figgnewton:  FI and I have lived on our own the past 5 years, but it’s been a struggle the last three since I’ve been in grad school and my internship/practicum hours did not allow me to work full-time.

We’ve contemplated SEVERAL times moving back in with my family – but that would be moving back with my mom and my grandparents and my brother when he’s home. My grandparents HATE each other – so it’s really not a healthy environment. Plus, there’s just not really much room. Way too many people for a small house and there would be no privacy.

I don’t think we would have the sanity we do now. Sure, we’d have savings, but not sanity. Luckily, I’m done with grad school and I start work in the fall- can’t wait to have a decent income!

Post # 8
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I LOVED living with my parents, because we are super close and they are far from overbearing. I was more than happy to move back in after university, and my mom was so happy to have me back (she is going to HATE being an empty nester). We got along great. However, I couldn’t imagine living there with FI. Maaaaybe if we had kids and we were in a real tight spot, but it wouldn’t be easy. And I could never ever ever live with his parents.

Post # 9
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Omg I could never live with my parents OR my MIL.  *shudder*

Post # 10
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

If we move back to California, we may have to move into either his parents or my mom’s house for awhile. California is so expensive!

Post # 11
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

It would never work.  My mom and I would kill each other after a week.

Post # 12
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

what does your husband think about that?  No way we would never do it unless we had no other option. we lived with his parents for a few months when we graduated from college/before we were engaged.  while it was nice of them to let us do so since we were just starting out in our jobs, i wouldnt want to do it again

Post # 13
Member
3077 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’ve thought about it for us before, but in the end, unless we were financially desperate, it wouldn’t come to fruition. I’d LOVE to save the money, but my mom’s house is quite small and would feel pretty cramped. Though I’d love to in order to keep my mom company. My FMIL’s house would be big enough but I couldn’t handle living with her. She’s awesome, don’t get me wrong, but she’s definitely overbearing at times.

 

Post # 14
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I did this for a while, and while it WAS under rather extreme circumstances, I still feel confident saying NEVER AGAIN. Unless we’re homeless. Moving in with your parents, probably the person who would suffer would be your husband. And don’t underestimate the hit it will take on your intimacy.

Post # 15
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My FI and I get along great with my parents.  I have wished countless times that it was feasible to move back home, because it would allow FI and I to save so much money toward the wedding and a home of our own.  But, my parents live 6 hours away from where FI and I have established ourselves, and I don’t believe either of us would be able to find jobs with pay comparable to what we have now.  It’s really too bad, because we’d have an entire floor to ourselves at my parents’ house, and I love my hometown, and like I said, MONEY.  

Post # 16
Member
10490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@figgnewton:  I live at home.  It’s just DH and I here though.

It takes a while, but it might help if you start considering where you currently are home.  I’ll have to look at your last post.

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