Post # 1
I’m from the UK. ive just been watching American TV programme called ‘say yes to the dress bridesmaids’. In the episode I saw it was clear that the bridesmaids were expected to pay for their own dress. It got me wondering, is this normal for the US? British weddings tend to have less bridesmaids in the party (or as far as I can tell from watching ridiculous amounts of wedding related reality TV from both sides of the pond) but bridesmaids here usually receive the dress as a gift, plus some other token of thanks usually jewellery. What’s the norm
in your area/ country?
i really have no reason for asking other than just being curious about cultural differences and similarities regarding weddings.
thanks bees xx
Post # 3
That’s normal for most areas in the US I believe. Here it is unusual, most couples will accommodate for all bridal party attire in their overall wedding budget, just like they accommodate for the bride’s wedding gown and groom’s tux, they will accommodate for the bridesmaids’ dresses and the groomsmen’s suits.
And the attire would not be the gift, the gift would be something different.
Post # 4
@sukiba: yes it’s normal for the bridesmaids to pay for their dress hair and shoes here (nj/USA) as long as your not picking some extremely pocket breaking dresses
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
I’m froim the northeast and it is definitely common. The only time they wouldn’t is if perhaps it’s a destination wedding and the bride feels bad for making them pay for so much other stuff.
Post # 6
Yep….Texas here. It is understood when you accept being a BM that you are paying for your dress, shoes and costs to get to wedding. It also means you will be a part of hosting at least one event for the bride, like a shower. Now I’ve had one gf’s pay for hair and make-up & nails. Jewelry is usually a gift to the BM.
Post # 7
In Australia it is normal for the bridesmaid to pay for their dress, and the bride to pay for jewelery, shoes, hair and makeup. A gift is usually given on top of this.
Post # 8
The girls are paying for their own dresses and shoes, but hair and makeup is being done for them.
Post # 9
@sukiba: I did a survey a while ago, and here in Australia it seems to be about half-half. (Which is weird, because usually we inherit the UK tradition not the USA tradition). In my experience the girls usually pay, but when I got married I paid for my girls’ dresses anyway. (It just didn’t seem right to ask them. I think it’s a silly tradition asking BMs to pay, and I know from these boards that it’s a source of a lot of drama too).
Post # 10
I’m from the US, and yes bridesmaids are expected to pay for their own dress, and also to assist with various tasks having to do with the wedding and pre wedding celebrations, which may include chipping in for bridal shower decor/cake, or bachelorette party planning, reservations. Bridesmaids gernally do reiceve a gift or token of appreciation and are asked to be in teh wedding, not summoned and can therefore graciously decline if they cannot afford the dress or to be involved in the festivities.
I was recently in a wedding and had to pay for my dress, hair and makeup (althoug hte makeup was techinically complimentary, I still was expected to tip the artist) I also paid for my shoes, and put about 300 dollars towards the hotel room for her hends night. She did give us jewlery to wear for the wedding.
Post # 11
@sukiba: I have to disagree with you. In my circle of friends (with people from different parts of the uk) its not ususual, in fact it’s the norm, for maids to buy their own dresses.
The groomsmen will all be renting their own suits.
I think it just depends on what you want them to wear and their expectations. I would had to have bought the dresses if we went for any from a bridal shop. We talked about money before we went dress shopping. Dresses had to be under the £100 mark and ones they would happily wear again.
Post # 12
thanks for all the responses bees I appreciate you all sharing xxx
Post # 13
I’m from Australia and most wddimgs I have known of the bridal part pays for their outfits and the couple pays for their hair, make up and gifts. I have known one or two couples that paid for bridal party attire but it is not the norm where I am. MY girls assumed they would be paying.
Post # 14
I couldn’t imagine asking my bridesmaids to pay for a dress I choose, that they’ll likely wear once to my wedding, so I’m happily paying for them (fortunately I only have two anyway). I will also being paying for their hair & makeup, but letting them choose/purchase their own shoes, as I don’t mind what they use (within reason!).
Post # 15
That’s normal where I’m from in Canada as well. I think anything else that you expect them to do/wear (specific shoes, hair, makeup, jewellery etc.) are supposed to be covered by the bride, but i’ve been in wedding where i was expected to pay for it all and got 0 say on anything (including my makeup or hair!) (*facedesk*).
I’ve asked my girls to pay for most of their dresses, I’ll cover the shipping and taxes, and then they can choose their own shoes (the dresses are long) and choose to get hair and makeup (at their cost) if they want. I’m thinking of asking them to keep jewellery small and tastefull, but they can pick their own or wear something that they already have. I’m just really trying to avoid any massive necklaces or earrings that cheapen the look of their beautiful dresses.
Post # 16
Nope, not at all. I’m paying for all 4 dresses & Pashminas, not shoes though.