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I've never heard of BMs taking off their rings, but that might just be where I'm from. So would a BM take off her wedding band if she were married?
I've never heard of having to take off your engagement ring/wedding band before, I don't think it should be an issue.
As long as your e-ring isn't huge and distracting I bet you could wear it that day and she (nor anyone else) would notice. You're gonna be holding a bouquet in the ceremony and pictures anyways so it's not like it'll be glaringly visible. Unless she's a MAJOR bridezilla I bet it won't be a big deal.
Wow. She sounds like a bridezilla. Why would she dictate details down to the rings you are wearing? Tell her to calm down. It's not like the photographers are going to be taking pictures of the bridal parties rings and earrings.
Naaaaahhhh....I don't think there would be any issue.
In fact, I wouldn't even ask the bride about it. No one will even notice.
I would be upset if I were told to take mine off. It's something you wear all the time; it's as much a part of you now as your hair style or skin tone. She can't ask you to change either of those, so she can't ask you to remove your ring.
Before I was engaged I wore (and still do!) a white gold star sapphire ring that my Mom gave me and I was never asked to take it off in the 2xs I was a bridesmaid. I removed my necklaces, bracelets, earrings because everyone really sees those and normally you coordinate them to go with your outfit. I changed those out in favor of the jewlery that the bride wanted us to wear... Honestly, I wouldn't even address it. I would just show up on the day of and wear your ring. I cannot imagine her asking you to remove it... and if she does, then WOW! lol
My cousin asked that no one wear their engagement/wedding jewelry when we were bridesmaids in her wedding. I should have promptly stepped aside as a bridesmaid because her 'requests' only got more ridiculous as time went on. Regardless as to what size/shape/color your ring is, it's improper to ask you not to wear it.
That's one I probably would just wait for her to (maybe) bring up. It may be a non-issue, or a detail she doesn't think of, so I say don't remind her :)
I think that is completely unreasonable to ask you to remove your rings.
I will need to ask one of my bridesmaids to wear my engagement ring during the ceremony because it only fits on my left hand and I want to be able to put it back on straight away (rather than leave it with someone not up at the altar with us.
I do think it is a bit unreasonable for her to ask that because like others have said, no one is going to notice.
I would be tempted to acknowlegde the rule but when it came to the day of the wedding, 'just forget to take it off.' I know on my wedding day there were bigger issues I was worried about than if their jewelry was white gold or not. Is she going to line you up and visually inspect each bridesmaid the day of the wedding?? I hope not.
She hasn't asked that you remove your rings (as other's seem to have taken, but I'm sure you (OP) know), just that you wear yellow gold jewllery. Jewelry extends well past engagement rings. I'm sure that she would just rather not have a mix of gold bangles, silver bracelets, necklaces etc.
Your ring will be fine, as a new bride I'm sure she understands how much more important an engagement ring is than other random jewelry. I would ask, just to be up front "Hey ___Bride's Name___, I know you said all yellow gold, but can I please wear my e-ring, it's just so new I don't ever want to take it off!"
I wouldn't even ask, honestly I wouldn't. My engagement and a friends wedding are two seperate occasions. I wouldn't even put it in her head that there's a chance I'd take my ring off. It's her big day, no one is going to paying attention that closely (I'm saying that in your defense, not as an insult to you).
I wouldn't even bother addressing the issue, that would be an absolutely ridiculous request of the bride and no bridesmaid should be asked not to wear her e-ring! Plus, no one will notice, including (I'm willing to bet) the bride since on your wedding day, there's way way way WAAAAY more important things to think about!
Absolutely not. You shouldn't take your e-ring off for any reason, unless you want to.
My rings don't come off just because they aren't the right 'color' for the bride.
I would be more than happy to take off/not wear any jewelry the Bride didn't want me to wear EXCEPT for my e-ring off and my wedding band. Those don't leave my finger. Fire me as your attendant but do NOT tell me I can't wear my e-ring and wedding band!!!
wear your e-ring, but wear a gold necklace/earrings. E-rings don't count and I think it'd be absurd of the bride to ask you NOT to wear yours anyways.
If you were married and not just engaged, would you consider taking off your wedding rings in this situation? If the answer is no, then you shouldn't treat your engagement ring any differently than your wedding ring.
There is no way I would take off my engagement ring just because the bride didn't want to see white gold...that's asking way too much, regardless of what it looks like...
It would be rude of her to ask you not to wear your ring, and I don't think she would go that far. I have never heard of BM's not wearing their rings during the wedding.
@GreenEyedMoon: Actually, she's asking me to get one of those spray-on tans... :P
I wouldn't call her a bridezilla, but she does have some definite ideas about how she wants us to look, so I'm glad I asked about my e-ring here -- it's good to know that when I keep it on, I'm not going against some big "no wearing e-rings" tradition that doesn't exist :D I've been to my fair share (and bm-ed for one) of weddings that are much smaller, low-key affairs -- this is my first black tie affair, hosted by a whole family of folks who want it to be ritzy. I think that makes my bride-friend (and, subsequently, her bridal party) a little nervous about "how it's done" (and her nervousness comes out through making her pretty strict to a vision).
Glad that I can go in confidently knowing that I'm not flaunting tradition by keeping my e-ring on, and if it becomes an issue, I'll worry about that then :P
WOW! I've been in several weddings and have Never head of that. I think that is asking to much.
You would ask how would she feel if she couldn't wear her e-ring or her wedding band.
well from your story, it sounds like she hasn't asked you to not wear it yet, so i wont jump the gun and say is being bridezilla! however, i wouldnt bring it up as a serious issue. i wouldnt bring it up at all. but if you want to be really sure there won;t be an issue, then maybe bring it up as a joke. like when you are already having a convo about attire and BM details, say jokingly "my e-ring is not yellow, but obviously that doesnt count, right?" and laugh about it
I would imagine she means necklaces, earrings and bracelets not rings. I requested (not demanded) that my BMs wore white gold or silver necklaces but that's it and I gave them each a silver bracelet. I didn't even think about rings because you can't see them in photos and I wouldn't ask anyone not to wear a ring. If I were you, I wouldn't even ask her and just wear it. I doubt she'd even notice.
I'm guessing that she didn't mean e-rings, too. She could be crazy and mean it, but I doubt it. I ended up buying my BM's jewelry (yay Forever 21!), but if I hadn't, I was going to ask them to wear yellow gold, but I absolutely wouldn't have meant their e-rings should come off!
Also, I think most people assume that your engagement/wedding rings are separate from the rest of your jewelry. When you're matching colors, I've always been told that it 'doesn't count.' :)
Eek! I certainly hope she didn't mean e-rings/wedding bands. They aren't fashion jewelry! Regardless, I'd leave them on.
It sounds like pretty much everyone else has said almost the same thing, but I just wanted to say that I totally agree - I wouldn't even bring it up: bridal jewelry (e-ring, wedding band) does not count in my opinion, as that is something you wear every day regardless. It is such a small detail that no one would ever say anything about, and if someone asked me to not wear my e-ring/wedding band, I would just ignore them most likely...and just wear them anyway. Haha!
yeah that'd be ridiculous to ask you to take it off (if that's what she means). if you're carrying flowers, your ring won't be noticeable anyway. i had my bridesmaids wear yellow gold too but would never have considered asking my sil to take off her platinum ering and wedding band. i just meant for other jewelry since i gifted them gold bangle bracelets to wear
I would just ask her. If you feel terrible about not wearing it, then just step-down from being a BM.
I wouldnt ask her or even mention it to her. She has no business telling you not to wear your e-ring (or wedding band!) or even if you had another ring that you wore everyday I dont think you should be told you cant wear it! Rings are the leats noticeable jewelry anyways!
I agree with previous posters. She has absolutely no right to tell you not to wear your rings. Most work places can't even do that! A woman's wedding ring is like a limb (to me at least). If I'm unable to wear it I feel like a part of me is missing.
I agree with the previous posters. It would be absolutely ridiculous for her to ask you to take off your engagement ring. It's not like you're wearing a big, chunky silver necklace - it's your e-ring! If she requires that you remove it, I'd rethink your friendship.
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Hey ladies - a bridesmaid etiquette question for you:
I'm MoHing for my friend this spring, and she's getting us the details of what she wants us to wear. I've known the basic gist of it for a while, and I've known for months that she wants us wearing yellow gold and no silver/white metal. And I was totally cool with that... still am, really, and have some yellow gold pieces in mind that I can wear if she gives me the okay. But -- I just got engaged myself a few months ago, and my e-ring is platinum.
I don't feel right offering to take it off for her wedding, but I know I should probably address the issue now rather than just show up and feel upset myself being told that I can't wear my own e-ring or upsetting her by insisting on wearing it. When I address the question with her, how can I phrase it in a way that's both firm (i.e. she IS the bride, but I'd feel pretty upset if she told me I can't wear my own e-ring as her bridesmaid) but understanding of her vision and her wants for her day?
Is it customary for bms to remove their e-rings? I'm also wondering where this falls in the wider world of wedding normality... if it's super-common for bms to wear their own rings that don't match their attire for another's wedding and I'm being overly sensitive, it'll make a big difference in how I ask her about it :P