(Closed) Is it crazy??

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2765 posts
Sugar bee

“Crazy” is such a loaded term that I’m just gonna ignore it for now! 🙂

Have you guys discussed a general sense of timing for when you might get married?

Also – are you guys planning the wedding together, or at least talking about the key decisions together?  Or is this something you’re doing on your own and/or hiding from him… 

Post # 4
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think all girls do this in one way or another. I pretty much know everything I want- I think you’re perfectly normal!

Post # 5
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i think it’s ok to look, i feel like that’s just natural for us girls! but really i feel like you are the only one who can truly know if you feel like the wedding will actually happen or not, you have been with him for 8 years so you probably know him very well. i was with someone 7 1/2 years and looked at all sorts of wedding stuff, when deep down i knew it wasn’t going to happen but was too scared to start over.

Post # 6
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

mr bee brings up some good points. are you discussing anything or keeping it secret from him?

i’m researching our wedding but for a myriad of reasons. i’m a planner so i love researching ideas anyway. when i’m not looking stuff up for the wedding, i’m planning a trip, my christmas gift baskets , and my next birthday. also, nothing i pick is set in stone since i’ll be going over everything with the boy once we’re officially engaged. for me, it’s more of seeing what i can do with our budget and getting the most out of our money. that and we’re looking at a short engagement and i want to do a lot of the projects myself so i’ll need to hit the ground running once he proposes. also, the boy is fully aware of my researching [and has given me his blessings to continue. if he felt weird about it, i wouldn’t be doing it] and has even chimed in with his opinions on a few things.

so as long as you’re not actively booking anything and am able to keep things in perspective and you’re open about it with your guy, it’s totally fine.

Post # 7
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I second the timeline question…do you have a timeline or are you just blindly planning? I’d talk to him about that before planning anything else.

Post # 8
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

If you know its going to happen, I don’t think there is anything wrong with researching ideas & stuff. Its good to get a head start on planning IMO! However, I wouldn’t place deposits down or buy a dress… you will change your mind 1000 times over before you get married!

I think that you & the Mr. should have a discussion to see where he’s at and when he’s thinking about making it official 🙂

@KM: Check your PM!!!!!!!

Post # 10
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

@jn, well if you feel you should slow down, by all means slow down. there’s no harm in doing so. i’m still a probably a year away from an engagement with my guy and i take breaks from researching all the time [okay, usually because i get bored. lol]. sometimes you just need to step away you know? just listen to your gut and go from there 🙂

Post # 11
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I had lots of ideas before we got engaged. but once we DID get engaged, they all changed! I would keep ideas in mind but remember that he may want to be part of the planning when it is actually time TO plan…

it sounds like you may actually want to ease up a bit, but sometimes its hard to just turn the wedding planning channel off

Post # 12
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with the others that easing up a bit might be in order.  Have you discussed a DEFINITE timeline for marriage?  Like exactly when?

We have done things a bit differently, but that’s b/c we’re older, an encore couple, and I’ve known since last Christmas we were going to get married since he told our families.  It was just waiting and him purchasing the ring.  Plus when you’re getting over some past hurts, it does take a blind leap of faith for us.

However, I have to say this.  I get manicures and pedis for ME.  Not for my guy.  I get them b/c it makes me feel pretty.  For him to say keep your nails manicured for three months, is a bit much.  If you’re going to do it for you, then by all means keep it up!  But if it’s for a ring, I’d say “well honey that can be expensive.  Why don’t you and I discuss definite timelines and then drop a big hint when I might need to look extra cute for a certain day.”  But that’s just me.  I’m blunt like that and as a single mom, I keep my budget tightly in place.  

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