(Closed) is it distasteful to fill-in number invited on the inviation response card?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

nope not rude at all – its rude for the guest to sub in someone else or invite others though.

Post # 4
Hostess
18623 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Having a fill in to let people know the number of seats you are reserving is fine.  As for the other thing, personally, I would still give someone a guest even if their spouse couldn’t come (especially if they don’t know a lot of people that will be at your wedding).  I feel like I have a neon sign on me sometimes when I go to events like weddings without my husband and I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way and would like less attention to be on them for being alone.

Post # 5
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We put “___ seats have been reserved in your honor” on our response cards. I think it’s helpful, not distasteful! That was the best way I could think of to be clear about how many were invited, and it was especially necessary since we didn’t use inner envelopes and didn’t want to have to put “and guest” on the outer envelopes. So the invitations to our single guests are simply addressed to them, then on the response card it says that 2 seats have been reserved for them.

Post # 7
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Yeah as other posters said, it’s totally acceptable to fill in the number of guests invited.  This is especially important if your guest list is extremely tight.  I don’t think very many people will try to bring someone other than who was invited… however as long as they don’t go over your “number of seats reserved” for them, you’d do best to let it slide.

(Bringing someone other than their spouse??  Scandalous!)  Wink

Post # 8
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Nope, not rude! We put “__number of seats have been reserved in your honor” on the RSVP cards. One thing about this plan is that you have to be very organized with your guestlist spreadsheet so your don’t make any mistakes. FI and I were using a double check process and one guest has already let us know that we made a mistake. Oops!

 

Post # 9
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My reply cards say the following

Kinly reply by the fourth of September

_____ seat(s) have been reserved for

Name(s)________________________________

_______ Absolutely

_______ Unfortunately

And I filled in the number of seats but I left the name blank. We’re paying for the wedding mostly ourselves so I feel like I can dictate how many people come, but I’d feel uncomfortable dicating who they can bring as their guest…

Post # 10
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@october:  Those are perfect RSVP cards.  I love, love, love your wording, and I REALLY appreciate the use of Names instead of M____________

Love them.  Really love them. 

Post # 11
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I hope not thats what i am doing!

Post # 13
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe I am misunderstanding something since my response cards were a bit different.  But if you fill in the total amount of seats and that family or couple does not reach their own max, then how do they tell you that they have seats to give up?  For example, if you invite a family of 5 and write 5 seats are reserved for them, and it turns out only 3 people can attend, then they no longer have space on your response card to note 3 because you already wrote 5.  Does that make sense or do you just hope they all call you and tell you well in advance?

Post # 14
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Or you can do “____ of 3” and fill in the total number.  So they have the option to have less people show up but not more.

Post # 15
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It is not rude to say “___ seats reserved for ___________.”

It is rude to dictate who your guest can bring.  If you are already planning on the seat, let your guest bring another “date.”  If my FI/DH couldn’t go and I was told I couldn’t bring someone with me – especially if I didn’t know anyone else going – I would decline the invite.

Post # 16
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@desert_teacher: for the weddigns i have RSVPed to that my SO couldnt go to it went like this:

 

_2_ seats have been reserved in your honor

Miss Spaganya

_1_ Accepts

_1_ Declines

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