Is it even worth it to plan a wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Just elope!

Edited to add:

I have a venue coordinator who will be the day-of coordinator. Also, my friends & family have been super supportive.  I would just like to compare planning our wedding with driving a mile long freight train with no training.  Yes, you don’t have to do much, but there are a lot of things that you can do wrong that will have big effects.  And, once it gets going you can’t stop the train!


Post # 4
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it depends on the person. Wedding planning, as it is with any life experience, is what you make it. If you overthink things, have a hard time making decisions or get the input of TOO MANY people, it can cause a lot of problems. If you create a plan and stick to it, then it’s fine – no different than planning a party. 

I’m planning my own wedding and I’ve had no real issues. I had one bridesmaid issue but I made a hard decision that a lot of brides wouldn’t have made. I replaced her. It was the best decision and I don’t regret it. 

As with all of that headaches, insomnia, nausea stuff…some people just go overboard and want attention. If you have tough skin and a level head, you will be fine. 

Post # 5
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

@TaurianDoll:  +1

My planning has been pretty painless. I am feeling a tiny bit of stress now that it is in 2 weeks, but nothing I can’t handle.

It depends on the person, what is important to them, and how they manage stress.

I wouldn’t have minded eloping, either, but the big event will be way fun.

Post # 6
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I love planning and so far, nothing has been tooooo stressful, except I get over-excited about things easily.

Just plan ahead!

Post # 7
22 posts
  • Wedding: April 2012

I planned my entire wedding. No help from bridesmaids or anything. I was not particularly stressed but I had made a decision to do what DH and I wanted and not what my family wanted or what my in laws wanted. I had to tell people no alot, but it was my wedding and I was paying for it. The only time I felt stress was the days leading up to the wedding.. The wedding was in our honetown in Illinois but we lived in San diego so I was stressed trying to get programs and placecards in order. Pretty much my entire wedding ws DIY and honestly I am really happy that I have those memories.

Post # 8
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@TaurianDoll:  Agreed

I feel like a lot of the stress that comes with wedding planning and how people react to it, depends a lot on personality type, how they deal with it, and how they deal with those around them like a stressful family or bridal party. I had stresses in my planning, but yes for me it was entirely worth it. I had the best day ever on our wedding day and I wouldn’t take it back for anything. It was also the last family event we were able to enjoy with my Grandfather and that alone makes it worth it.

Post # 9
6446 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@allinoelle:  I was stressed but no where near that. Towards the end I was more excited than stressed! I thought it was worth it because I had so much fun seeing all of our family and friends come together. 

Just stay organized and look into hiring a wedding planner.

Post # 10
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m very stressed.  My work has taken a huge hit, and at this point, I just give up getting anything productive done.  I’m too distracted.

But the thing is, it’s a good kinda misery, if that makes any sense.  It just makes the big day more meaningful since all this thought and tears went into it.  It’s brought me closer together with my parents, my best friend, and my fiance.

It’s kinda like training for a marathon, in my opinion.  It’s not always fun, but the challenge and stress of it all is what makes it worthwhile. 

I’m not saying I don’t sometimes wish I had eloped.  I know someday I will not wish that though.

Post # 11
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I planned my (very quick but perfect!) wedding with the help of my now DH. At no time was I stressed. However, I do know a few brides who have turned themselves into nervous wrecks and I’ve always thought that there wasn’t a wedding in the world worth making yourself so stressed that you couldn’t actually enjoy it.

However I think a lot comes down to personality. I have a very dear friend who, in her desire for perfection in all things, makes every event she plans a terrible strain for her. She cannot let go of the most precise detail nor trust her proven abilities. So she’s driven nearly demented in the planning stage of everything and it spills over into her enjoyment of what are always great events. She’d love to be more laid back about things but simply can’t.

Post # 12
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MsJ2theZ brought up a good point about giving your family another fun event to enjoy together. I recently went to my uncle’s 70th birthday party and it was one of the first times that EVERYONE was there. At the end of the weekend, my grandmother kept saying “I love having everyone here together for something good instead of something sad like a funeral. TaurianDoll’s wedding is next!” And everyone cheered lol

@allinoelle:  And if you plan it WITH your family (financial support or actual operational support) then you won’t feel alone through the sacrifices you’re all making. I was on the phone with my dad yesterday and enjoyed a laugh with him over how he feels like a human wallet. At the end of it he said, “And I would do it all over again. It’s worth it.” So it depends on what’s important to you.

Post # 14
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think it depends on a few things:

-The type of person you are – if you get stressed easily and can’t let things go, wedding planning will likely be stressful

-How interested and reasonable your family and friends are – if they’re easy going types and want to help out in any way they can, it goes smoother

-Number of guests you have – generally the fewer, the less stress

-Your expectations. This can apply to a number of things such as what you can get for your budget… how many guests your expect to show up… how “pefect” you expect the day to be, etc.

We wanted to elope originally, but now we are having a VERY small (like 4 guests) wedding. Quick ceremony at a nice(ish) venue, and then dinner at a nice restaurant after. Coordinating it all is a bit of a headache, but once I get everything booked, I think I will be able to relax. At the end of the day, I want to be married. I fully expect something to go wrong, and I don’t expect it to look like something out of the pages of a wedding magazine. If I had to coordinate a giant wedding with tons of guests (most of which would be more like acquaintances than friends), then yes, I would be a basket case. That’s not what we want at all. We’re both very introverted people… not the party type at all. So we know what we want. We also don’t want to spend a lot, so we are being realistic budget-wise.

Post # 15
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It’s driving me completly insane!!!! Honestly I can’t wait for the wedding to be over and just be married!

I’m super happy about our decision to get legally married on the 9th of sept. and have the reception on the 13th, I just want to have that special moment with my FI, my parents and his father and brother, no other people invited.

On Friday we will have the big thing and planning that baby….pfff I want to pull my hair out and just eat chocolate ice cream all day…It will be an awesome party but the pressure for it to ba AMAZING and the best day of my life is just to much for me to handle!

Post # 16
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh jeeze. it doesn’t have to be stressful. Get your FI involved. Get your friends and family invovled. It’s a lot of work, but it is fun. We’ve spent a lot of time eating cake, tasting champagne, looking at pretty things, and getting attention from people we don’t get to see that often. Sure it’s expensive and there’s a lot to do, but overall it’s been so much fun. I think if it stops being fun, you should downsize or reexamine your values.

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