Post # 1
So… I work in a small (9 person) department at a much larger company/organization. I am having about 100 guests at my wedding (fiance and I are splitting the invitations down the middle – each of us inviting about 50 people). Unfortunately, we just don’t have the space to invite everyone we’d like.
For that reason, we’ve been trying hard to only invite people who are close to us.
The problem is, I would love to invite about 3 of my coworkers, who I consider to be friends as well. But, I’m afraid that the other 6 in my department (who I regularly have meetings with and know about my engagement), will feel slighted by not being invited. If this helps, the 6 coworkers that I’m thinking of not inviting aren’t particularly friends. We are certainly friendly to each other and have good working relationships, but they’re not people that I ever talk to outside of work.
So, should I suck it up and just invite them all to avoid anyone being offended?
Post # 3
I struggled with this, and in the end DH and I invited only the 3 coworkers who are truly friends with both of us, outside of work. The ones who have had us over. No one who wasn’t invited seemed to be offended, esp. since we’d put the word out that it was a very small wedding. When we came back from our honeymoon, we had a casual party for neighbors and coworkers and friends we hadn’t been able to invite to the wedding, and some coworkers came to that.
Post # 4
Do you talk about your wedding with the other 6? If you don’t tell them the details they will be less offended. I would also approach the 3 you are inviting (preferably not at work where others might overhear) and tell them that you are excited to have them at the wedding, but due to space constraints you can’t invite the entire department. Ask them to please use discretion when talking about the wedding so that those who you can’t invite don’t get upset. Don’t tell them to lie about going, just tell them to avoid talking about it at work. They should be pretty understanding about it. I would only be offended if I had to hear about every step of the engagement and then wasn’t invited.
Post # 5
DH and I met at work so there were a lot of potential guests amongst our mutual co-workers. We invited the ones we considered friends— folks we’d spent time with outside of work/happy hour after work, and while there was one guy who was fishing HARD for an invite, no one seems to have been upset or felt slighted after not having gotten an invite. FWIW I’ve been on this job for almost 7 years, and some of these folks have been around just as long. But was our wedding, not a work party. Folks understand that!
Post # 6
I would not be offended if I were one of the other 6 who weren’t invited. I think people know whether they’re actually friends with you outside of work or just working colleagues. I wouldn’t worry, and just obviously be sensitive about not talking about who’s invited.
Post # 7
I work in a very small office of eight people and I personally did not invite any of them to the wedding because I felt that if I invited one I had to invite them all. When it comes to a small offic environment people can easily be offended and insulted…you know how it goes.
Now for my DH he works in an office of around 50 people and we invited about 10 of his co-workers. I’m sure there were some that wished they had been invited and others that couldn’t care less. With a larger group it is less easy to offend the “few” that weren’t invited versus my tight knit work environment.
Post # 8
I think you should only invite the ones you are closest to.
Post # 9
I only invited 2, DH none. We kept it to the people we socialize with outside the office.
Post # 10
If you socialize with the three outside of work then I don’t see any problems with inviting them and not the others. We only invited people that we made an effort to spend time with because we wanted to see them, and not people that we only see because we work at the same place.
Post # 11
Thanks for your responses! I try not to talk about my wedding unless I’m asked. Although there is one guy who asks me ALL the time about how my wedding planning is going, most of the time we just talk about work related things.
I think I’ll just do as suggested above and ask those that are attending to not talk too much about it at work. I’m sure that’ll make it less awkward. 🙂