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Is it impolite... ?

posted 4 years ago in Beehive
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    Newbee
    ladyroth    August 21, 2008   Washington

    Okay, I have a question... is it impolite to ask the guests NOT to take pictures during the ceremony? My fiance and I were looking through our photographer's blog, and there are three pictures that have someone else with a camera! We think it looks bad... so bad that the picture would have been a nice one, had a camera not been looking back at the photographer!

    Thanks! 

     
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    amysue    6/6/09  

    A lot of ceremony sites have restrictions on photos during the ceremony. You could always have your attendant request at its start that guests refrain from snapping shots until the end.

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    snmcdowell    9-13-08   Chicago

    It's actually universally impolite to take photos inside a house of worship, so in my opinion there's no reason NOT to remind guests that photographs are prohibited during the ceremony.

     
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    haliwood       Canada

    Thank you for posting about this! I recently attended a wedding and my jaw almost dropped to the floor when I saw half a dozen people literally climb onto the altar to snap photos of the ceremony!!! I just about died. The couple had two photographers and STILL came out with barely any photos that didn't have other relatives and friends in the background taking photos. CRAZY! I won't name the church I was in because I was later informed that this was very common in this cultural group. In my opinion, the professional pictures were ruined. That being said, I don't think it's rude to ask guests not to take photos - though I would so much rather have some sort of church policy to back my request up rather than play the authority card myself.

     
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    kitty       Oxford, UK

    Completely agree! It makes me cringe at weddings when everyone pops up with their camera (or cellphone even!) to snap a quick photo. And that noise digital cameras make as they take the picture is so distracting!  We are having a line in our program that says "the bride and groom politely request that no photographs are to be taken during the ceremony". Hopefully people will get the hint...

     
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    Dulaman8    7/10/09   CT

    SNMCDOWELL is correct. My church only allows photography from the balcony. My friend who is a minister was married last year. She put a little blurb on the program that said in a very polite way, that it wasn't appropriate to take pictures... that they would pose for pictures after the ceremony.

    You wouldn't take pictures during a regular mass, right?!! Besides, no one gets a good pictures, anyway.

     
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    JCM9608    September 6, 2008  

    ladyroth + everyone else,

    This has me thinking....My venue is not a place of worship (though I personally love it and worship it in my sleep, heh!).

    Now, would this still be suitable to do somehow tactfully in the programs....or?

    I think it is also distracting and when people crowd the aisles, other people can't see, etc...And everything else that everyone else has described goes on.

     
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    haliwood       Canada

    I think it's fine to politely ask guests not to take pictures, even if not in a church. At the end of the day, you're paying thousands of dollars for professional photos of this one special day and don't want to discard half the shots because of random additions.  Hopefully your guests will understand.

     
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    Sweeney2Be    Aug 23, 2008   Twin Cities Minnesota

    Most churches only allow nonflash phtography, even by the professional taking them. 

    I'm just playing devils advocate here - but asking doens't always mean it will happen. People bring cameras for a reason, and I know I've gone to weddings where I've not paid too much arttnetion to the program, unless I'm trying to remember the name of a song or a birdesmaid....I think it's polite to do it the way Kitty mentioned, but don't count on everyone seeing it, or absorbing the info.

    Great Aunt Ethel isn't going to want to pay $75 for a 5x7 or 4x6 of your wedding day from your photographer - KWIM?  what if they then wanted to follow you out back after the ceremony to take your photo while yor photog does them? Would you allow that?

    Simply, it's hard to ask everyone to make you the center of attention for the day, and then refuse photos until a certain time or place? Hard to coordinate with 100-20 people at a time, you know?

     

     
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    tiramisu    July 19, 2008   Maine

    I'll play devil's advocate too... I can't for the life of me remember where, but I read a bride's advice after her wedding day that said she had done exactly what you mention- asked guests not to take photos at the church.  The problem was that she ended up hating her photographer's photos, and really regretted that she didn't have any other photos from those moments.

    I think you should ask yourself if it is more important to you to have professional photos that aren't ruined by a guest's flash (and maybe it is!) than to just let the day unfold as it is going to and not try to oversee everything.   If your family and friends are so excited to take a picture of you that they are leaning into the aisle to do it, maybe that's a cool memory to have too...

    Just a thought :) 

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    katelovescoffee    3/21/2009   Los Angeles/Chicago

    We also plan on NOT having guests take pictures during the ceremony.  (We are getting married in a hotel).  We plan to put a note on our programs, as well as maybe someone spreading the word (i.e. the ushers as they sit people).  We've been to one too many wedding with flashes going off, and guests getting in the way of the photographer.  

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    staceyb    may 10, 2008   los angeles

    my contract with my photographer asked that we keep our guests at least 30 feet away if they wanted to take pictures - allowing them to take pics of us, but giving our photog room to work. we also hosted a flickr account for our guests, which worked out reeeally well, and they did get some good pictures, even from a little further back. :) i'm glad to have both sets now.

     
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    Worker bee
    saltyveruca    4-26-08   Houston, TX

    I'm a wedding photographer, and stuff like this happens all the time. I recommend that you get an experienced photographer that knows how to deal with it, and also understand that there are some things that you just can't control.

    I've actually had family members watch me move to a spot, and then snipe it by standing right in front of me!  Or, we will be specifically instructed by a church not to use flash photography, only to have guests do it because no one told them otherwise. And the time we had to wait during the formal photographs for family members to complete their shots before we could get the attention of the subjects... Is it impolite... ? :  wedding photographer etiquette Icon Wink

    That said, it is your photographer's job to be able to work around problems like this. We have notes in our contract about guest photography, but when it comes down to it, stuff like this happens pretty regularly anyway. We can tell the bride and groom all we want before the wedding day, but no one (especially me) wants to reprimand guests about putting their darn camera phone away. We're used to it, and can generally come out with gorgeous photos despite the distrctions.

    Also, cameras in photos can be fun! There's an award winning photograph of a little girl laying on a cake table (sniping the photographer's spot...) to get a shot. It is a very cute and tell-tale image. Personally, I love taking photos of people taking photos! It just depends on how you approach it.

    You *could* ask your guests to avoid taking photos, but honestly, that's part of the joy of the day. People love taking photos! And even when you've gone through your professional photos, you'll have tons of fun going through the ones your loved ones have made. Don't deny them (or you) the fun unless you really have a problem with it.

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    pancy    06/13/09   orange county/los angeles

    I am so glad someone posted about this because i didn't even realize this could be a problem or issue. I have to agree wtih saltyveruca - i kinda' love the candid images of people taking pictures in pro pictures. But now I wonder if it is more of a distraction and if it can potentially ruin pro pics. 

    My church only allows my photographers to shoot from the balcony and does not allow any flash photography once the ceremony actually begins. I was kinda' counting on my friends who dabble in photography to catch some images of my fiance's first look at me coming down the aisle, and of course, of me coming down the aisle. I wouldn't want THEM in the aisles or anything, but will their picture taking (and possible flash) disrupt the pro pics? 

     
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    GorgesViola    10/26/08   Ithaca, NY

    I went to a wonderful wedding over the weekend where the couple had a unique solution I loved: near the beginning of the ceremony, the officiant (a friend of the couple) had the couple turn towards the guests for the express purpose of taking pictures of them! It made for a cute, light moment during which everyone laughed and *did* take pictures; then the officiant had the chance to ask that everyone now turn off their cameras and cell phones and turn their full attention to enjoying the moment.

    It was quite lovely and worked really well for this particular couple - since most of the guests were very good friends of theirs, the moment of levity was really nice, and then bringing the tone back to seriousness was also appropriate and appreciated. Also, there were still the candid shots of the two of them walking down the aisle (together) because this happened after the processional. Since the wedding was non-religious and in a hotel, this was fine.

     
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    Helper bee
    Candi1024    05/24/2008   Hunlock Creek, PA

    I was allowed to take pictures during my church cermony and I welcomed all to take them.

    My problem was my new SIL.  She decided to keep walking in front of the photographer to take pictures, whom I had paid thousands of dollars.  I was ready to kill her.  We literally kept yelling at her to move, but she just ignored everybody.  I love my new family.........Other than that, i love other's photos.  I am trying to get everyone to upload to flickr, but I have so many people that are not computer savy, and so far the only pictures on there are ones that I have added  :(

     
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    Busy bee
    jilian    April 28, 2007   Blacksburg, VA

    One note - If you are asking guests to not take photos - you may mention that you will post all the professional pictures in high quality at a place that your guests are welcome to print them out for themselves.  That is if your photographer will be giving you all the digital photos.  That way the guest won't be afaid they are missing something.

     
    I'd rather hire a great photographer (and assistant) - and instruct them to take pictures of everyone all night long, and ask the guest to leave the cameras at home.  30 cameras trying to get the best picture of the cake cutting or first dance is somewhat annoying - plus guests don't really get to enjoy the moment ;)  So tell guests if they want a picture of them and Aunt Susan they are welcome to grab the photographer for it etc.  And that all the pictures will be available for EVERYONE to get copies.

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