Is it important to you that your kid(s) grow up near one set of grandparents?

posted 3 weeks ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would it be okay if your kid(s) grow up away from their grandparents?
    No, I want my children to be close to my parents and in-laws. : (10 votes)
    18 %
    It would be nice to have atleast one set of grandparetns living nearby. : (46 votes)
    82 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    7083 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    This poll just doesn’t make sense.

    For the first option, what if the grandparents live hours away from each other? Make them move closer together? This is just something that you might have absolutely no control over.

    I also think it’s a house oversight not to have an option for bees who are okay with raising kids further away from any grandparents.

    Post # 32
    Member
    3876 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    kfen7 :  I grew up in a situation where I saw my grandparent’s and my nana at least three to four times a week. However, on both sides of the family, I have cousins who grew up in a different state. It goes without saying, but I grew up much closer to my grandparents than my cousins did. I have experiences and memories they will never have. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. 

    Because of this, it’s important that my children grow up near their grandparents. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    2690 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    My parents met, married and had children in different states from where they were raised. They were both raised around a lot of family and spoke to us about how important that experience was. I didn’t have grandparents close for a lot of my younger years but we moved when I was 9 and I got to see the benefit of having my mother’s family nearby.

    It was really important for me that my children be close to as many grandparents and relatives as possible (my son has 7 grandparents between me and my husband and is close to all of them). I wouldn’t want to have children and not have family nearby and one side is better than none but I always feel that the more support and love you (and your kids) can get the better.

    Post # 34
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    Yes. This is more than half the reason I chose not to have kids. Being active duty military for a career, if I had children they would never really know most of their family. Too heartbreaking for me to imagine, considering how much of my childhood involved family being around 

    Post # 35
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    We donèt have any children yet, but we just bought a house walking distance to our parents both of us are very close to our parents andd grandparents so yes itès extremely important to us

    Post # 36
    Member
    249 posts
    Helper bee

    I grew up within a mile of my mom’s parents and all three of her siblings. I was/am very close with my Nana, aunts/uncles, and cousins as well as my mom’s cousins and their kids who also live in the same city. I see all of them probably at least once a month for various family events, and my mom’s cousins/my second cousins a few times per year. I did not realize how unusual this was until I became an adult! My dads parents lived about 1.5 hours away and we saw them frequently as well. His brother and his family live about three hours away so we usually only saw them on big holidays. 

    My husbands parents and sister (as well as extended family) live in his home state which is about a 12h drive/2 hour flight. We see his parents a few  times per year for about a week at a time. I wish they were closer because they’re awesome! We have decided to move to my hometown next year. We are expecting a baby girl and would like to raise her around family, and for financial/job reasons, it makes more sense to stay in IL vs move to NY. It was something we talked about since we started dating and has probably been the number one “issue” in our relationship since we are both very close to our parents/family. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    1565 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    It’s not important to me. My mother is dead, I don’t speak to my father so they are not an option. His paretns are amazing, but if we moved away it wouldn’t be a big deal to me. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee

    Sure it’s nice if the Gparents are good people, ones you would want your kids to know, and geography and interest permits. 

    My parents were the youngest in their families, my mom had me at 32, and all 4 of my G’s were dead (2) or infirm and inactive (other 2). It is nice if it can happen but isn’t always possible.

    Post # 39
    Member
    9031 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My grandparents lived 6-8 hours away so we saw them 1-2x a year basically.  I loved going to visit them.  I have 2 kids and my husbands parents are about 5-6hours away and mine are just 1 hour away (and retired now).  It is a huge help having mine nearby because they help us out a lot.  My 3 year old is definitely close to my parents as well as my husbands mom (she will drive to us so she sees them maybe 5-6x a year) and my parents about 2x a month (or more).  I don’t want to move away for this reason.  I feel like I came out fine (and loved my grandparents) but it is SOOO nice to have them around my own kids.

    Post # 40
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I didn’t grow up near any of my grandparents, I turned out fine.

    besides my parents and brother, the closest relatives were a 5 hour car drive away.

    now i live 30 minutes from my mom and she is our nanny. she is the only living grandparent but DH has a lot of aunts, uncles, and cousins within 30-45 minutes.

     

    Post # 41
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    Family is really important to us, we are walking distance to my in-laws and a 5 minute drive from my parents and 30 minutes away from our siblings

    Post # 42
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    kfen7 :  I grew up with my grandma’s constant interference of my parents’ marriage and family so no I hate to be close to my inlaws. We live 45 minute drive from them. 

    As for my parents, they draw very clear boundaries so my husband adores them. We are about 5 minute drive from them and my husband is ok with it. So we probably will be close to them even when we have a baby and they want to help us and we help them too vice versa.. At the same time I dont want them to have a say anything in we do with our baby.

    Post # 43
    Member
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I grew up without grandparents being close. My dad moved us to the opposite coast as them. I am so jealous of my FI who has two grandmas within 20 minutes of us. I would want different for my future kids. I would want them to have a big family around them on their birthdays and the holidays.

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