Post # 1
I have been with my boyfriend (now fiance) for 6 years. The families act like since we have been together so long it doesn’t really matter that we are getting married. We are having an engagement party this weekend and it seems as if no one really is interested in coming. We live 1 1/2 hour from our families and I am feeling like it is selfish of me to want them to come to this engagement bbq, even though they I have given well over a month’s notice..
Our wedding is 1 year from friday, and I am beginning to really question our wedding plans.. if no one is interested in this perhaps it will just be a waste of time, resources, money etc to have a ceremony and reception. I know this day is about us, but why rent our dream venue for $850 and spend all the money if it is just going to be 10 or 20 people…
am I being selfish? or just having a pity party? I am lost at what to do from this point on.
Post # 3
Elope….Spend the money on a beautiful destination wedding and honeymoon. Enjoy the time spent with your new husband. It is everyone elses loss.
Have a party when you come back, then if few people show up, it wont matter 🙂
Post # 4
Do YOU want a wedding? That’s the question. If so, throw yourself a wedding and enjoy it throughly even if there are not as many people as you would like. The sad fact that many of us bees learn is that no one is excited about our wedding as we are. AS long as you are happy the day you wed, all is well.
Post # 5
That is how I felt. With already knowing up front that my entire family wasn’t going to make it to my state (this is before I even had anything set, just talking ideas here, they already couldn’t come), I said forget it and we eloped. I did not want to spend that kind of money on them anyway. A wedding event would had been nice, but it came with too high of an emotional price tag.
So we put all the money into us and had a lovely destination elopement. With the money we had left over (from the other wedding) we each got Invisalign braces AND we are flying to visit the other would be wedding guests in their respective states. I’d say it was a good plan for us!
PS – Are you throwing your own engagement party? Usually engagement parties are thrown in your honor, not by the actual couple. Do you have any etiquette sticklers in yuour family? Maybe they are miffed at that?
Post # 6
@sienna76: no etiquette sticklers. just a bunch of mormon family members who believe we should have been married 6 years ago. In all honesty, no one has ever done an engagement party in either of our families because mormon couples usually get married very quickly. but as you can see that is just not us.
I want all the festivities that go with getting married and I knew no one would throw those in our honor.. so we are doing it.
Post # 7
@russian_doll: This is exactly what we are doing!!
@MrsHudman: We are spending 10 days in Jamaica next month and are so happy we decided to elope. Good luck with your decision. I am sure whatever you choose you will be happy.
Post # 8
@ChefDori: This might be really rude to ask but are you spending less on eloping to Jamaica than you would have paid for a wedding? I hate to ask how much you’re spending so just ignore this if you’re not comfortable, but we’re still in the early planning stages and it’s all starting to get so hard and so expensive and it’s going to cost us an easy $15-20k if i do everything the way i want and i’m so tempted to say stuff it and go get married overseas!
Post # 9
Ah, yes, the Mormons have an average of 2-3 months engagement in my area. So I can see how there’s no time for an engagement party! I have lived in Utah 13 years.
Our DW was cheaper than a wedding and we combined our with our honeymoon.
What do you want most from your wedding? And what would be the second best option?
I had to go with the second option due to the circumstances, but it turned out to be better than the first option in the end!
Post # 10
@Missy_Star: It is not rude to ask. Yes, we are spending less and I will message you the details.
Post # 11
Fiance and I had a really great talk and decided that it is about us. We will rent out our venue and whoever comes, comes. I just want to marry him and the venue is very important to me. It has always been my dream place so.
I does make me said I won’t get a bridal shower or anything like that.. but at least I get to marry my best friend 🙂
Post # 12
@MrsHudman: Elope. No one seems to care that my bf and I are getting married so I moped for a bit and then decided ‘you know what? we can have the perfect day with just the 2 of us – screw everyone else’.
This way we fully control it, don’t have to deal w. family drama, and can spend the money on US.