Post # 1
Ughh. Okay, so my mom hates doing things that other women enjoy. Shopping is one of those things. She’d rather be watching a football game, any time. She took me shopping for prom gowns back in high school and she rushed me through the process and both times I didn’t really like my dresses. I just got what made her happy because she was complaining about being there.
Well; I didn’t want to inconvenience her by asking her to go wedding dress shopping with me. I knew it would be like pulling teeth and I’d end up feeling rushed to buy a dress I hate. So, today, FMIL agreed to go with me to get my dress. I found one I loved and bought it immediately. I texted my mom and told her I’d gotten it and she seemed excited. Then, she text me back and said, “wow, you took your FMIL instead of me?” Her response floored me! I wrote back reminding her of how she hates shopping, so she said, “You’ve got a point, just tell me when and where to show up!”
WTF?!? I just can’t f’n win! I was soo excited to FINALLY get to go dress shopping. Now my mom ‘s feelings are hurt. FMIL asked if my mom would be upset, I said no. Didn’t think she would. So, just now my mom post a FB status that says, “I am floored that my daughter went dress shopping without me.” So, now FMIL is going to see it and feel guilty too.
What am I supposed to do?
Post # 3
I can understand hating shopping in general, but this wasn’t just like going to the store for pantyhose, her daughter is buying her wedding dress. I can understand why she’d feel hurt.
Don’t not include your mom and expect her not to be upset. I know how insufferable they can be much of the time, but it’s really not that hard to put your personal feelings aside and invite her along. It’s not. You can always cut the excursion short and do your own shopping later if she’s really getting on your nerves, but at least you made the effort.
Post # 4
Ever since I’ve gotten engaged, even before, my mom has repeatedly stated, “I hope you don’t want me to go dress shopping! That’s what your sister is for!” I’m obviously not a mind reader. She made it clear she had no interest to dress shop or wedding plan. So, I didn’t push the issue. I also didn’t want to be miserable during what should be a happy event.
Post # 5
@Pinksapphire: Ok, well you didn’t say that in your post though. I’m not a mind reader either 🙂
Post # 6
Hmm, maybe it was more that you took your FMIL instead of her. I could see where that might be a sore spot. Even so, it’s too late now and it seems like she is going to play the victim. I guess just try to include her in other aspects from this point on. At least have her come with you when the dress comes in!