Post # 1
This is a vent more than anything… are there any other brides out there whose mother is not a part of their life?
I’m so lost. I’m trying so hard to do everything right, when I really don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not sad about not having a relationship with my mother. That was my choice due to abusive behavior throughout my youth. I’m more upset that when it comes to questions, etiquette, or tradition, this website is literally all I have. I just wish there was a person to help me. The two women who were a huge part of my life and who would have filled this role have both passed away, and while my FMIL tries to understand, its just not the same.
Is there anyone else in this boat? Hopefully just posting this and getting it out there will make me feel better.
Post # 3
@iammcdibble: I don’t have the best relationship with my mother also due to her abusive nature either. I wasn’t able to rely on her for my weddng either. She actually made some ugly comments to me before, during, and after the wedding. Some examples, at my dress rehearsal she told me I looked like I was pregnant even though I didn’t. While I was getting ready for my wedding and spending private time with my BMs, she barged in and yelled at me randomly about some food I had catered in for everyone to snack on before the ceremony. The point of my rant is you’re not alone. I can tell you though it’s sad you don’t have the support system you should, you will be so proud of what you will accomplish with your wedding on your own.
Post # 4
From what I’ve seen over the past few months, there are a lot of women on here who do not have the best relationships with their mothers. I wonder if there is a way to change your post title to elicit a larger response.
I have a good relationship with my mom, but she has nothing to say about weddings. So, I rely on my friends and on this website for advice.
Post # 5
@iammcdibble: Family is not always blood. Sometimes those closest to us and who make us feel loved, are friends..Have someone beside you who you can rely on and trust, and who genuinely cares. I won’t have either of my parents at my wedding,but the people there will make my day special…x
Post # 6
I’ll join the club. She wouldn’t be any help with this kind of thing anyway–I think my grandma planned her wedding anyway. I’m doing okay, though.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. I feel better knowing I’m not alone. I am fortunate in that I have the most incredible group of friends, who are my family. And my father and I have a very close relationship too. I just get worried that I’m going to do something wrong or say something wrong and not know any better because I don’t have anyone telling me what the right thing to do is. Oh well.
thank you all 🙂
Post # 8
@iammcdibble: “I just get worried that I’m going to do something wrong or say something wrong and not know any better because I don’t have anyone telling me what the right thing to do is” <— Like some mothers know what is the right thing to do is????
Post # 9
@Sapphire-Dreamer: Not all, but yes, I think many do.
I know I’m not being very eloquent here. This is just something I’ve been thinking about for quite a while, and I thought writing it like this might be cathartic.