Post # 1
So I guess I should be more enthusiastic about my wedding, but I just feel more down than anything. I love my FI and it’s not the getting married part that makes me down. It’s the planning lately. Maybe it’s just me or maybe its not. Here’s what’s got me down and you tell me if you think it’s just me or not.
- My sister kind of nominated herself as maid of honor. Really what can you say, “No”? I mean we don’t have the best or worst relationship. Honestly I really hadn’t thought about a maid of honor at first, but I pry would have picked her anyways. Well through out this whole planning thing she’s been telling me she’ll buy this and that for me for the wedding. Like colored table cloths, heaters if it were outdoors, fabulous bridal shower etc just different various things. She has not done a darn thing at all. I don’t care how much or little she spends on my wedding. I just hate the empty promises. Don’t tell me you’re going to do all these great things for me and not follow through. I’d rather you just not say them in the first place. Oh and by the way my sister is about four years older than me and still single.( Part of me thinks she’s a tad bitter and I only say that because that’s the type of person she is). So about a month or two ago (I can’t quite remember, my memory isn’t it was before I started planning a wedding) I asked me sister to look into going to bridal shop to look at these specific dresses. She said okay I’ll look into it. Did she ever do it? No! Since our wedding is so close in April. I know we need to get my Bridesmaids dresses soon. So yesterday I asked me sister if she can make the appointment and we’ll go looking. You want to know what she said to me…… “I can’t my weekends are booked but we can go the second weekend in January.” I told her, “Well I might go before that,” and her response was, “That’s fine.” After that I just walked away from her and thought to myself, “Hmm and I thought I was the one getting married?” She just doesn’t seem to care. She’s done a few other things, but this outraged me to no end and I don’t know what to do about it. Talking to her like a normal person and telling her that it’s not okay would only make her defensive.
I mean there are other things that are stresses me as well like finances, my mom (for some reason she just keeps getting mad at me for no reason) literally! Maybe Menopause or something.
There have already been times I just want to elope because of everything, but we aren’t and wont.
What type of drama, stress and problems are you guys experiencing?
Post # 3
I think weddings can bring out the best and the worst in people. I would probably leave your sis out of the wedding planning and just expect her to buy the dress and show up. Since she can’t actually go dress shopping with you till January, maybe you guys can browse some dress photos online to get some ideas.
Post # 4
I agree w/ hello – maybe you can just tell your sister politely, “thanks, but no thanks” when she tells you she’s going to do things for you. It seems that she’s not following through on any of the promises she’s making you, and it might be better for you just to let her know that you can handle the things that she’s offering to handle.
As for your mom – I can absolutely relate. My mom was a complete nightmare through the entire process. She was mad at me b/c I didn’t say thank you the right way during my shower. I also didn’t hold up the stuff enough for everyon eto see, and she was mad b/c she wanted to see what I got before it was packed up into the car. Crazy…I could go on about my mom…so try to take it in stride.
Post # 5
Weddings bring out very strange emotions in people and every couple will experience weird emotional things that you just cannot predict.
For us, we had our fair share.
1. We had a LOT of problems with a groomsman, and he ended up dropping out. It was a lot of jealousy issues, and the friendship ended. It was awful and out of nowhere. I won’t get into details.
2. I can’t stand my mom’s boyfriend, and neither can the entire family. There was a lot of tension and drama surrounding his attendance at the wedding.
3. My mom and the guest list. She wanted to invite people I never met (her boss, what?!). I had to tell her no.
4. My mom and aunt hated my dress when I showed them a picture online. I hadn’t told them that I bought it yet, but it ended up being the one for me, so that was awkward.
5. Overall, we just got a lot of opinions on things from people that were unwarranted, so we stopped sharing details. It got better after that. We just kept telling people, “Oh, it’s a surprise!”
6. I had a BM back out at the last minute (a week before). It was unexpected and the reason was shady.
It’s always a lot to deal with. I had break downs and times where I wanted to elope, too. Just know that it always works out. All the drama just disappears on the wedding day.
Post # 6
Girl I feel your pain. All my friends and family make fun of me for being the “planner”. It isn’t just the wedding stuff this has been my title for years now. So they all think including the FI that I’m stressing out that things haven’t gotten done yet because our wedding isn’t until April (the 2nd week of April mind you). So I got out a calendar and marked every single thing that needs to happen and by when. So for instance, invitations need to be mailed by ___ date, etc. I also then wrote in every holiday/wedding/social activity we have over the next 3 1/2 months. Since I’ve shown it to the FI he has now realized that we don’t have much time to keep putting things on the back burner. Especially since he is gone 3-4 days every week for work.
Hang in there and do as I’ve done. Just start taking care of it yourself and if they don’t like what you’ve done oh well, you’ve tried to include them. You gotta get things done and don’t have time to wait around on them and their schedules.