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We live in a town with a rather infamous maximum security prison. On the prison grounds near the warden's house there is a hall/facility that you can rent out. FMIL is insistent on having our reception there. IT'S ON PRISON GROUNDS. I have already reiterated the fact that I am NOT comfortable with our reception there. On top of that, 85% of our guest list is coming for at least 45 min away and is planning on staying in a hotel. In this town, there is only one motel where the inmates families come for visiting weekend - so they would be there, too. Additionally, the nearest hotels are 15 minutes away and we don't have public transportation. She doesn't see the problem in this. Eek.
No way! I'm sure that is probably meant for prisoners or something. Who in their right mind would have a reception there?
Um, whoa! Why in heck is she insistent on having it there, of all places?!
Oh wow, you just can't do that there. There is a psych hospital near me that you can rent their banquet room for weddings and stuff. I can't imagine who would do that...let along prison grounds. I wouldn't care how nice it was.
Erm, I would - but probably for irony's sake ... I just would find some kind of hillarity in it ...
However, Mattel I can see your point in this ... I would put my foot down on this one - don't let anyone make you have something about your wedding that you absolutely do not want.
Uh, that's crazy! No way would I have my reception on prison grounds!
heheheheheheh - well it could open up an entire new theme for your wedding!
tell her she can have the rehersal dinner there if she wants but other than that, its your and your FI's wedding not hers
uuuuuuuuuuummmmm..... weird. no offense, but i don't think its a good idea. sorry FMIL.
I live in Ohio and I was completely shocked when I found out that the Ohio State Reformatory had a banquet hall - that was currently used today! I didn't like the movie Shawshank Redemption that was filmed there, so umm I would never dream of using that facility. It completely freaked me out though knowing that something like that exists.
Good luck with FMIL - I guess that would be one decision that I would be very insistent about not letting her make!!
Eeek. I can't believe they even have a banquet hall on the prison grounds. This would be a definite no for me!
okay, this was one of the funniest headlines I have seen. NO! Clearly you cannot have it there (though I do agree with the poster that maybe you should, just for a strange irony.) Can you explain to us why your FMIL wants to have it there? Is she the warden?
When I took 19th century French lit in college, sometimes the novels' plots would take surprisingly turns like this and it always made me laugh. The symbolism is just too much.
I'm with alishaneva, I think it's pretty funny. But I'm pretty weird and don't blame anybody else for not liking it! Tell her NO!
I could see someone doing this for a creative location. But this is very out there, and NOT a venue that should be forced on anyone.
Why is your FMIL determining your reception venue?
She is trying to thinking of ideas to save money, which I do appreciate. But here's the thing - they're contributing, but not a lot. FI didn't even want either parents to help, he thinks we should pay for our own wedding. The place that I am in love with is beautiful, we would have AMAZING food and drinks, the caterer is great. We're not worried about money and we're the ones paying for it. Other than that I don't know why she's insisting so much. But she's missing the major point.... IT'S ON PRISON GROUND, IT'S A LOGISITICS NIGHTMARE WITH OUT OF TOWN GUEST, WE WOULD HAVE TO RENT EVERYTHING TO MAKE IT APPROPRIATE FOR A WEDDING, PLUS YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW ALL KINDS OF CRAZY PRISON RULES.
Well, just tell her no, and turn down her money if necessary. Just say, "Oh, we have found this other really great place--I think you'll love it--and we won't have to pay for rentals, they really add up."
Still LOLing.
I think there are a lot of other places where you can trim your budget. I really don't think holding it on prison grounds is necessary. Typically when you're just renting out a hall and nothing else it ends up being more expensive when you get all the rentals. I think you should go with your gut instinct, and hold it at the other place.
I would recommend having you fiance talk to him mother and say something along the lines of "Thanks for the suggestion, but we want to explore some other options. Mattel and I are getting married, and we feel that it's important for us to make these decisions together. We will let you know what we decide."
By eliminating yourself from the conversation, you get rid of some of the tension between yourself and your FMIL. It is also getting across the idea that you are both adults and will be making decisions that sometimes she will not like. IMO, if you let her step all over you and make the decisions now, you will have a hard time keeping her out of your relationship after you are married.
I think some of your guests would get a laugh out of the implicit metaphor...
I totally would not be comfortable with that. I'm also surprised that other people (not at WB) don't see anything wrong with the idea in the first place. Seriously if they wanted it to be rented out to the public, the first line of business would be to have the venue anywhere else than on prison grounds. That can't be safe at all.
@Eva you're right. And I like to avoid any tension/drama. That's why I came to you guys. The craziest part is, she's asked a couple people - and they think it's a good idea. That's why I thought I was being ridiculous. I think FI is going to talk to his mom when he gets home from work this weekend (he's gone during the week so I have to make a lot of decisions for the both of us).
@MyraG - exactly!! We have been trimming here and there. We're willing to spend a hefty sum for a beautiful, memorable wedding but still not go overboard, and that's what we're doing! I think she's also having a little bit of sticker shock because the last wedding she had to pay for was ten years ago and prices have skyrocketed since then.
Good luck! I'll be interested to hear what happens when your FI talks to his mom.
Wow I've definitely never heard of that. I agree with the others, there are definitely other ways you can trim your budget and still have a lovely (non-prison themed) reception. If she wants to contribute, could you possibly have her contribute to a specific thing like flowers or something so that she doesn't have a say on the whole affair? Good luck and keep us posted.
Wow...oh no!!! But you really need to talk to her and just tell her no....
well i think the fact that it's a prison is enough to cross it off the list! that is probably the craziest idea i've heard so far!
um, unless these grounds are like, the ritz carlton...HECK NO!
Wow, has she heard herself? Does she know what it would actually sound like? Maybe you should do a mock up invitation so she sees how whacked out that sounds.
No way! I'm sure that you probably would have to follow a ton of random regulations and your guests probably wouldn't feel comfortable going to a prison for your wedding reception.
Who would be the servers there? The prisoners? I mean this is ridiculous.
If you and your fiance are paying for the reception, tell her no that you're not going to have your reception on the grounds of a max. security prison and that if she wants to host your rehearsal dinner there, that she should feel free to do so.
Is your FMIL normally this crazy? I mean this idea is absurd.
Yeah, that doesn't even seem right.
WHy is he insisting on having it there?
Also, if no one is willing to budge from this plan and if you aren't willing to put your foot down and take over the planning yourselves even if that means majorly scaling back to whatever you can afford, be prepared for a ton of "no" rsvps from your guests who see this as wrong and highly unsafe. Unfortunately though, it will come back and make you look bad for picking the venue since that is the responsibility of the bride and groom together, not the mother in law or anyone else.
That is terrible... haha tell her you think it is such a great idea that you are planning on having bright orange bridesmaid dresses and ball and chains instead of bouquets to go with the venue
@Ember... i dont think it would be unsafe for the guests. worst case senario is that your car might get broken into by one of the vistitors... or there is a massive riot, you are taken hostage and your freedom negoitated over cake :)
long bay would be our worst prison in this state and it holds monthly garden markets because the inmates grow lots of pretty (and legal) plants and no harm has come to the general public
lol that seems really weird. It's your wedding - do what you want and not what your FMIL wants!
Wait, so it's an actual, active prison? Legitimately? ...how are they even allowed to do that? It seems like it breaks some kind of law, if not just the law of common sense!
Yeah, this is definintely one of those things you need to put your foot down about. If not for... well, ethical reasons, then the sher metaphor that Mr. Bee metioned!
@KMSull, that was my very first thought that it seems highly unlikely that such a thing is even legal. But there are lots of things out there that the authorities turn a blind eye to.
@NeliBee
"Who would be the servers there? The prisoners? I mean this is ridiculous."
That line killed me, haha. Amazing. I agree with everyone else! Apart from the hilarious-at-the-time irony, this could not possibly be a good idea!
@Miss Britt -- have you checked that place out though!? It's beautiful! I tried to talk J into having our reception there, but he wasn't having any of it. Hehehehe.... seriously. I grew up in GR. :)
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