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I'm right there with you. Kind of overkill. But they can be cute and if some want to spend money and paper on it, good for them!
our wedding will require a transatlantic flight for about one fourth of the guests, so we sent them out about a year in advance to let everyone know. Also, if your wedding is during "wedding season" - i.e. April to Sept - your guests may have a bunch of weddings and events and vacations and will need to figure out their schedules. I have friends who have every weekend in July and August already completely booked! That being said, you don't need an official card - you could just spread the word informally, it won't make a difference.
I don't think they are absolutely necessary but I think if you are having a destination wedding or a wedding right around a holiday it is a good idea to send them if you want to make sure your guests can set aside the time. This gives them enough time to plan for flights and/or accommodations around busy season. We are planning to do them because ours is right after the holidays and in the winter.
I didn't send out formal save the dates but for our out of town guests, I sent out an email a couple months in advance with our wedding webite and hotel information so they could try to plan ahead and figure things out if they wanted to come. I don't think save the dates are necessary at all unless you have a lot of out of town guests/destination wedding or your wedding is over a Holiday weekend.
Because our wedding is over a holiday weekend (4th of July), we sent STDs. Honestly, I really enjoyed designing them - it was a "practice run" for the invitations I designed and am putting together. If a lot of your guests are local and your wedding isn't near a holiday, they probably aren't needed unless you want to.
I wanted to have them because those save the date magnets were so hard to resist! lol also i have A LOT of family coming in from out of town and I wanted to let them know way ahead of time so they could plan accordingly.
I think it's nice to let anyone who needs to buy a flight ahead of time. But...we only got engaged about 4 mo before our wedding and got really lucky that tickets (well more like the euro was up) were a good buy for the peopel coming over.
So I'd let people know ahead of time if flights are involved. But you don't have to do it through the mail or tell everyone.
I did them because all of my fiance's guests are from out of town and we don't correspond with any of them on a regular basis.
I think if your wedding is local and with local guests, then maybe you don't need them.
For me personally, I have a TERRIBLE memory with dates and I book a lot of stuff in advance. For every single wedding that I haven't received a save the date for, I have always accidentally scheduled myself for something else. I ended up scheduling myself for a business trip to Chicago during the weekend of my friend's wedding because I didn't have that reminder on my fridge to look at.
I think it's useful for out of town guests and if you're getting married in high wedding season or on a holiday weekend.
We did a video Save the Date and emailed them out to everyone. It was a good excuse to eat cake :) I wouldn't have bothered with printed ones. My FSIL did email ones via Paperless Post, great service if you end up going that way (they looked great and she could tell when people opened them).
My bottom line with everything wedding related: I'm only doing it if FI and I are excited about doing it. :)
Phew! Thanks everybody! I was feeling like I HAD to send them. I'm sooo glad its not a must! Maybe I'll send them to the out of staters. thank you thank you thank you!
It's not necessary unless you think a lot of guests wouldn't be able to come (holiday weekend, destination wedding, etc) without prior notice. Many brides find them to be a fun way to announce the wedding ahead of time, but you certainly don't have to, especially if the money can be better used elsewhere.
For us, people started asking us about when the wedding was going to be and what hotels they should stay at and whether they should book their timeshare about two seconds after we got engaged! We sent our STDs about 9 months before the wedding with the wedding website address so people could find hotel information.
For myself, I really appreciate getting a STD. I'm a very busy person and 2 months advance notice for an event on a weekend, especially if it requires travelling, is usually not enough.
So all in all, it's obviously not necessary, but I think finding a way to tell people your date is important so they can make sure to have the time free and make their work and travel arrangements. You could call people, email, etc if you don't want to send something. We did very inexpensive postcards for our STDs.
Save the dates can help sort out some of the wedding invitation drama ahead of time. If you forget someone you truely want to invite, then you can hide behind the fact that you don't need to send save the dates to everyone you will be inviting (sometimes people send them to close family and those who will be traveling). You may have an opportunity to let people down easy (a family member asks on behalf of another if they are invited, and you can explain taht you are having a smaller wedding or whatever explaination you will use). This can make a big difference, since the month before the wedding is more stressful than several months before hand.
Plus you get all your address issues out of the way early (we had a couple save the dates returned due to street numbers and minor address changes). :)
We decided that we aren't going to do them simply to save money. We have a very tight budget and as a result are only inviting about 75 people, and between the two of us it should be pretty easy to get the word out. I'll probably email everyone too so they can find the wedding website but as nice as they are, I don't think they are a necessity.
STDs don't have to be expensive. I used the free postcard option on Vistaprint and spent $11 for shipping and then money for stamps.
I think save-the-dates are a great heads up to people that they will need to plan for your big day but not a "must". I do think that if it is a holiday weekend, busy time of year, many people will need to travel far distances or a destination wedding then it is a nice thing to offer save-the-dates.
It is also a great time to put your wedding website out there :)
waste of money no matter where your guests are coming from. I have this echo-chic wedding book and it says, they are just part of the wedding industry to get money. so what were people doing before they came out,?? they called, If not they didn't come.It's just more paper and not necessary.. If they are going to remember, they are going to remember and if not, you weren't that important to them. Save your money to spend on the honeymoon:)
Then again nothing in a "wedding is "necessary" other than the actual getting married part lol
We basically told all of our out of town guests when the wedding was so there wasn't much need for them.
But I think if you have a lot of guests out of town or on a holiday weekend I think they're a good idea.
Not necessary tho - envelope liners with your wedding date printed on them. I seriously doubt many people see that (although they're lovely).
We sent them out because my wedding is during Labor Day weekend and a lot of my guests are coming from out of town. I do think that they were not necessary, but nice for OOT guests who wanted to start making plans.
I will say this---save the dates really confused some of my older relatives. They keep asking me if that was the invitation and why there was no ceremony time or location on the save the date. Geesh, I have explained it a hundred times, but they are still concerned. It's like they don't believe a formal invite is coming, lol :)
jaylii, it's because they didn't use them back them. I belive this is new in the last 10-12 years.
tytbody- I know that save the dates are new to a lot of people, I just didn't expect people to be so confused by them (even after a detailed explanation)!
We are getting the Save the Date magnets. Almost all of our guests are coming from out of town so I would rather send those out so that I am not having to call and remind all of those people or to give them a heads up. Plus we didnt pay much for our invites so I can spend $75.00 on save the dates without going into debt. Plus, I think they are fun and cute.
it's hard to get older people to understand some new things. I know, I had a semi-family member still stuck on Dial. Like it was the best soap out there.. aggggggg.. :)
we felt them a requirement because so many of our guests are coming from out of state. although, admittedly, some of our older relatives have asked our parents how they are supposed to RSVP, as there wasn't one included in the STD. so our parents had to explain what the STD was and that an invitiation, with RSVP, would follow 2 months prior to the wedding.
We had them because it was the weekend after Thanksgiving so we had to make sure people would remember to not make holiday plans if they wanted to come to our wedding.
I would agree with the others that it's usually nice to have them for DW or holiday weddings. Other than that, it might not be neccessary.
@ hhausman - I loved your STD - it was so cute and loved the song great job!!
We sent out STD's becuase we are getting married in July and people take vacations ect around that time. I also think STD's are so cute!! We only have 117 people coming to our wedding so the postage wasn't that bad and I got a great deal on the printing.
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Are Save the Dates really necessary? Doesn't it just seem like an extra step. I mean if you send the invites 2-3 months before the wedding, whats the point? I don't know. I kind of think its silly. And really, why spend the money on all that postage? Anyone else have any thoughts on this?