(Closed) Is it normal for a guy to talk to his parents about marriage first?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

My husband told his parents first. He doesn’t see them as often because they live in different states, and he was excited to share the good news with them. Then he asked me parents a few weeks later.

Don’t be upset about it. Be excited that its coming soon ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it just depends on their relationship with their family. DH didn’t talk to his dad about it because they aren’t close, but I know he would have told him mom (she passed away). I’m sure he’s just excited and wants to share that with his family ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

FI didn’t tell his parents until we were officially engaged. He isn’t close to my family like we are to mine, though. I  mean we go to a lot of family things, but I’ve always told him that he needed to for sure talk to my parents before proposing, so he did. I’m sure he’s going to talk to them soon…

 

or maybe he did talk to your family and they are keeping it a secret from you?

Post # 7
Member
11354 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think this is very understandable. Your SO is likely close with his family and just wanted to share his thoughts and intentions with the people who know him best and have helped to guide him along his path in life before making the biggest, most important decision OF his life. It sounds as if they’ve given their blessing if they’re all celebrating, so that is great news for you that you will have the love and support of his family!

Post # 8
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

Well I am sure it is normal.  Some guys keep it to themselves while others go and talk it out with friends, the girl’s parents or even his own parents.

 

Post # 10
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

DH talked to his parents before we got engaged–I think before he talked to my father.  He lived with them at the time and they are very close, so it made sense.

Post # 11
Member
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

My FI talked it over with his mum before discussing it with anyone else (other than me). Later he talked with his dad about it too. Then he moved forward and talked with my parents. I wouldn’t be upset about it.

Post # 12
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You say “we” are closer to  your family, but “he” alone is obviously closer to his own family. Of course he would want to talk to them and probably show them the ring before he has the big talk with your dad. I think this is totally normal.

Post # 13
Bee
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

I think it’s totally normal and you shouldn’t worry about it! Mr. W showed his parents the ring and talked to them about it before asking my dad for permission and proposing. His parents’ opinion matters deeply to him, and he wanted reassurance. I would’ve done the same thing ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

My FH absolutely discussed our engagement with his parents first.  He had to ask them for the family heirloom ring to propose.  He tried to ask my father but he was not able to get the few moments alone with him to do so before he proposed.  It did not bother me because I am an older, independent woman plus I have been divorced so I am not really my father’s little girl anymore.

Post # 15
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I just found out that he told his family he was going to propose to me in MAY! He told my dad…the day before it happened! 

I think your SOis doing things in the right order

Post # 16
Member
7653 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

DH didn’t talk to his parents, but he bought then ring and then had no one to tell and was busting at the seams so he told my parents, lol. He didn’t really ask them if it was ok because he knew they loved him and he knew he loved them.

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