Post # 1
I’m genuinely curious and honestly have no clue. I posted last month that I was annoyed that my SO didn’t ask for my dads permission over Thanksgiving, and I just found out that it’s because he wanted to talk to his parents in person first. He’s home for the holidays right now, and told his entire family that he’s planning to propose. They are all out on the west coast drinking champagne &celebrating and I can’t help but feel a little hurt that my family is still in the dark (we are much closer to them, and even lived with them for a year).
Im obviously not mad at him – but is that normal for a guy to talk to his family first?
Post # 3
My husband told his parents first. He doesn’t see them as often because they live in different states, and he was excited to share the good news with them. Then he asked me parents a few weeks later.
Don’t be upset about it. Be excited that its coming soon 🙂
Post # 4
Thank you that makes me feel better 🙂
Post # 5
I think it just depends on their relationship with their family. DH didn’t talk to his dad about it because they aren’t close, but I know he would have told him mom (she passed away). I’m sure he’s just excited and wants to share that with his family 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
FI didn’t tell his parents until we were officially engaged. He isn’t close to my family like we are to mine, though. I mean we go to a lot of family things, but I’ve always told him that he needed to for sure talk to my parents before proposing, so he did. I’m sure he’s going to talk to them soon…
or maybe he did talk to your family and they are keeping it a secret from you?
Post # 7
I think this is very understandable. Your SO is likely close with his family and just wanted to share his thoughts and intentions with the people who know him best and have helped to guide him along his path in life before making the biggest, most important decision OF his life. It sounds as if they’ve given their blessing if they’re all celebrating, so that is great news for you that you will have the love and support of his family!
Post # 8
Well I am sure it is normal. Some guys keep it to themselves while others go and talk it out with friends, the girl’s parents or even his own parents.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone – I think maybe I’m just more hurt that I’m not out there celebrating too. We’ve kind of been planning everything together (I helped pick the ring, etc) so I feel a little left out!
Post # 10
DH talked to his parents before we got engaged–I think before he talked to my father. He lived with them at the time and they are very close, so it made sense.
Post # 11
My FI talked it over with his mum before discussing it with anyone else (other than me). Later he talked with his dad about it too. Then he moved forward and talked with my parents. I wouldn’t be upset about it.
Post # 12
You say “we” are closer to your family, but “he” alone is obviously closer to his own family. Of course he would want to talk to them and probably show them the ring before he has the big talk with your dad. I think this is totally normal.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
I think it’s totally normal and you shouldn’t worry about it! Mr. W showed his parents the ring and talked to them about it before asking my dad for permission and proposing. His parents’ opinion matters deeply to him, and he wanted reassurance. I would’ve done the same thing 😉
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
My FH absolutely discussed our engagement with his parents first. He had to ask them for the family heirloom ring to propose. He tried to ask my father but he was not able to get the few moments alone with him to do so before he proposed. It did not bother me because I am an older, independent woman plus I have been divorced so I am not really my father’s little girl anymore.
Post # 15
I just found out that he told his family he was going to propose to me in MAY! He told my dad…the day before it happened!
I think your SOis doing things in the right order
Post # 16
DH didn’t talk to his parents, but he bought then ring and then had no one to tell and was busting at the seams so he told my parents, lol. He didn’t really ask them if it was ok because he knew they loved him and he knew he loved them.