Is it normal to be excited and sad about getting married?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
4043 posts
Honey bee

@romograce:  Well change can be quite difficult for everyone. I moved out at 18 and it was a little tough at the time. DH and I have lived together since then (we are 25 and 27 now). My family lives over 2,000 miles away right now and I do miss them quite a bit though. 

I would suggest giving it some time and things will likely settle into place nicely.

Post # 4
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can totally relate. I lived at home until my mid-twenties, only leaving for college, and even then I didn’t move far. My immediate family is very close. I packed up my belongings 2 Christmases ago and I was pretty much bawling every day. Each night I would think about how I would never again sleep in that room as a single woman, and I remember being pissed that my mother let my brother and his wife sleep in that room when it was my last Christmas claiming that room as mine. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I still get really emotional when I look at my baby pictures so yeah. lol.

Not much advice to give, but you can always go back to visit. I don’t live close to home anymore, but I found staying in touch with what my parents are doing helps.

Post # 5
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@romograce:  Of course this is normal! Life as you know it is about to change! You can be excited for the new life ahead of you, as well as mourn the life you are leavng. 

Big life changes always bring these two emotions, together, I find. Moving, graduating, marriage, having a baby. Its all just a bundle of emotions! 

Post # 6
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@romograce:  I’m not feeling that on the verge of marriage, but I surely did feel it when I moved out at 18. I was so excited to start college and have my own apartment but I bawled the first night there after my parents left to drive a thousand miles back to the house we’d lived in since I was three.

The good news is- you are closing that chapter, but it isn’t disappearing. You will go home to visit, your home and family will still be there- and you will be busy most of the time writing a wonderful new chapter, which eases the ache immensely. 

I still feel a twinge of sadness when I think of that lonely girl in her little apartment missing the certainty and safety of home… but I wouldn’t for a second trade all the adventures since. And you won’t be alone in a trashy student apartment- you’ll be at home with your new husband! 

Post # 7
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Well, it’s normal for you. It’s normal for lots of people! Not everyone, but you’re the most important person in your life (beause without you, who would you be?)

It’s a norm for me, too. I get excited and sad, and scared and happy and all sorts of things.
It’s a big life change that is either going to make life easier or not, I’ll have to see.

A bicycle only keeps it’s balance by moving forward.
That’s all I can do!

Post # 9
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@romograce:  i feel exactly the same way….it’s cool that we are date twins and im 29 as well lol…..But yeah I did leave for college but I always knew it was coming back. I look around my room, which i have had my whole life, and feel so sad. Just to think of packing up and leaving it half empty makes me sad. I guess it is also because my new house will be strange for a while and not my immediate place of comfort. But I guess to think positively you are making a new place  with someone you love…

Post # 10
679 posts
Busy bee

@romograce:  i relate in a different but similar way. marriage is happy/sad to me necause of chnaging my last name which has been my last name for my whole life( it will just be new a different just as living away from home. not bad! just new and different!

Post # 11
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@romograce:  I was the same way.  I am also 29 and we purchased our home 1.5 years ago.  I’ll never forget the day I found out they accepted our offer.  I was at work and I had just hung up the phone, and I started to cry.  I just couldn’t help it.  I was so sad, and scared of leaving the life I knew.  I was moving 30 minutes away from my parents and that felt like 3 hours to me.  I am an only child so I am very close with them.  But… I got over it.  It was a change for the good.  It was still hard in the beginning but after a few weeks, this was my home.  My husband and I got married this past November and yea, it was a big step but I wasn’t as scared because we had been living together for over a year, so honestly, nothing much changed there.  But that initial move out of my parents house was huge to me.  Actually, when I went to go change my last name at the DMV I was having a mini meltdown.  Yea, I could’ve kept my name, but I felt I would have no problem changing it.  But that was another thing that I was changing that terrified me!  

Post # 12
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@romograce:  I went through this when I went off to college, and all I can say it’s kind of like the grieving process… Except you’re basically mourning yourself/a part of your life that’s gone now. You just have to go with it, and let yourself be sad. It ends eventually.

After moving out for college and then moving back in, though, GOD I can’t wait to leave and be a grown up again.

Post # 13
3994 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Absolutely! Change is exciting and scary at the same time. I remember moving out of my mom’s house at 20 and being sad my first night away. I knew that once I was out, I’d never live with my family again. The same thing happened when my husband and I got married. It’s just realization that things are changing. We’re growing up and the dynamics we once had with our respective families and friends are different. But it also means there is a lot of good to come, a lot of new stuff that you’ll figure out and do together as a couple. Normal!

Post # 14
109 posts
Blushing bee


Saying goodbye is always hard.  I went through it when my family lost our house and my parents separated.  I had already left for college, but it still felt like losing my home.   @Nostawyn is right – it’s a grieving process.  It’ll be ok.  The house/apartment/whatever you move into will become your home in time.

Post # 15
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think all you can feel is both excited and sad. Every beginning is also an end after all!! 

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