Post # 1
HI everyone! I’m still waiting but I’ve been super busy lately and haven’t noticed AS much but I still think about it a lot as I’m running out of time for the Sept/Oct wedding I thought we would have. Mr. is planning on proposing any day now I think but he’s away ATM which is frustrating…he can’t propose while he’s away! I went away for work last week and he said ‘I was going to ask you before you left.’ but my big mouth and I said something silly that put him off. Grr, been kicking myself all week.
So, what I’m wondering is what are the things I can get into place for a wedding later this year before he propses or do I have to wait it out before I can do anything. I really don’t want to put our wedding off till next year, I feel like I’ve waited too long already. I want to get it out of the way so we can start to move on from this limbo, defacto, bf/gf kind of stage.
Is it really bad luck to try on a gown before you are engaged? I have to go back to the city for a week on Sunday so it would be a good chance to get a few things organised…bands, a gown, shoes, entertainment, invites etc. A couple of those things require knowing a date too.
I don’t want to seem like a nut or a bridezilla but I have been waiting a long time and the way he is talkng lately an engagement is inevitable. I had always hoped that a proposal was the one thing that might go right for us but there have been so many hiccups with it that I just want to get it all over with.
Post # 3
Does your BF want a September/October 2011 wedding as well?
Post # 4
I think he is fine with it, he just doesn’t get how much planning needs to happen for even the simplest of weddings (what we want.) I have asked him a few times in different ways and his reply is always ‘yeah, ok.’ He’s a very blokey bloke and the glitz isn’t his thing however I know getting married is important to him and he knows I want to be married before we start to try for children – which is what he really wants. If we get married this year, I’m prepared to start trying by the end of next year but if we get married next year, I will want to wait for the following year to start trying for kids. I want to have some time with him as my husband and get our finances and living arrangements settled before jumping straight into baby making.
Post # 5
@ruby13: You should ask him straight-out, “do you want a fall 2011 wedding?” and if he says yes, it’s not nutty at all to start planning before the engagement. It’s smart, actually. If he says anything other than yes… well that would be nutty to plan then. LOL
Post # 6
If you guys have a date, then you are engaged to be married.
If you don’t, then yes,it’s nutty to plan before you’re engaged.
Post # 7
I would definitely get the confirmation from him for sure. If he’s on board and okay with it 100% then I say go for it. But honestly in my opinion I would wait until the engagement before making decisions, especially even trying on the dress. It’s okay to get ideas together, make a couple phone calls, etc. but I wouldn’t do any more than that. Just my opinion.
Post # 8
Sept is 3 months away so I’m thinking that by now you should know for sure if you will be having a wedding or not so you can inform your guests and do all the necessary planning etc. You should also be putting down deposits because everything gets booked up if you wait too late. You need to have a serious talk with him and decide on a concrete date. If he doesnt want to say anything definite then you dont have anything to plan for
Post # 9
@MsCricket: I’ve known people that were engaged but had not picked a date yet. Does that mean they are not really engaged?
OP, I think if you and your SO are in agreement as to WHEN you hope to be married by, I think it’s ok to start “looking” at things but not actually book anything yet (put down deposits, etc.). Go ahead and start getting your ideas together, venue comparisons, dress browsing, etc. I am doing the same thing so that when SO finally gives me the ring (that we BOTH know he is going to give me soon) I can just start making calls to the places that have made the top of my list. I think it’s totally ok to get a head start now so you don’t have to do research later.
Post # 10
I don’t think planning before the engagement is a nuttydeal. In fact, I wish I had done it. If the engagement period is only a short time, it would be a huge advantage if you pretty much know more or less what you want. You wont have to worry about doing things last minute and go through that panic when the wedding day gets closer and you still have lots to do.
Post # 11
I knew my fiance was going to propose while we’d be visiting his family, but I was concerned about timing to wait for that trip…so I tried on dresses and started visiting venues before the ring. Didn’t sign any contracts or put down money on anything until after the ring.
Post # 12
I don’t think you should go too crazy, but you should talk to him about what date you want first and then start researching. Depending on the area you are in, vendors can be booked up to two years!
Post # 13
Not going to lie here- I wish I had planned before my wedding. It would have taken a lot of stress off the begining of my planning period.
Before I was engaged I was really concious of my ringless left hand and it stopped me from planning. But now that I’ve been meeting with lots of vendors, I have never seen a vendor check that I had a ring or anything like that.
I say go for it as long as your SO is on board!
Post # 14
Yes I’ll admit it, I started the planning before the proposal. I knew it was gonna happen and we both knew we wanted a spring wedding this year so I went ahead and started getting ideas and collecting pictures. But I didn’t book anything nor buy anything until the actual proposal. I planned our wedding in less than 6 months so the pre-planning really did help me out a lot. Good luck with everything!
Post # 14
@bells: Agree. A fall wedding for this year is, like, painfully soon. Don’t most venues fill up by this point?
Post # 15
I started planning in January 2011 for our wedding in October 2011. He didn’t propose until April 2011 but I knew he had the ring and we both wanted a fall wedding this year. I think it is very smart as I have the venue and my dress before the ring came! Two huge weights off my back – also I had done a ton of research for the DJ, photog, officiant, ect… so all I did was go back into my folder of saved info and it made for a much easier time. There is still much to do, but all the big things are booked so I can breathe easy – I say go for it even if it IS just doing research, getting names, and comparing prices.