(Closed) Is it nutty to start a little bit of planning before a proposal?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

Does your BF want a September/October 2011 wedding as well?

Post # 5
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@ruby13: You should ask him straight-out, “do you want a fall 2011 wedding?” and if he says yes, it’s not nutty at all to start planning before the engagement. It’s smart, actually. If he says anything other than yes… well that would be nutty to plan then. LOL

Post # 6
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you guys have a date, then you are engaged to be married.

If you don’t, then yes,it’s nutty to plan before you’re engaged.

Post # 7
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

I would definitely get the confirmation from him for sure. If he’s on board and okay with it 100% then I say go for it. But honestly in my opinion I would wait until the engagement before making decisions, especially even trying on the dress. It’s okay to get ideas together, make a couple phone calls, etc. but I wouldn’t do any more than that. Just my opinion.

Post # 8
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sept is 3 months away so I’m thinking that by now you should know for sure if you will be having a wedding or not so you can inform your guests and do all the necessary planning etc. You should also be putting down deposits because everything gets booked up if you wait too late. You need to have a serious talk with him and decide on a concrete date. If he doesnt want to say anything definite then you dont have anything to plan for

Post # 9
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MsCricket: I’ve known people that were engaged but had not picked a date yet.  Does that mean they are not really engaged?

OP, I think if you and your SO are in agreement as to WHEN you hope to be married by, I think it’s ok to start “looking” at things but not actually book anything yet (put down deposits, etc.).  Go ahead and start getting your ideas together, venue comparisons, dress browsing, etc.  I am doing the same thing so that when SO finally gives me the ring (that we BOTH know he is going to give me soon) I can just start making calls to the places that have made the top of my list.  I think it’s totally ok to get a head start now so you don’t have to do research later.

Post # 10
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t think planning before the engagement is a nuttydeal. In fact, I wish I had done it. If the engagement period is only a short time, it would be a huge advantage if you pretty much know more or less what you want. You wont have to worry about doing things last minute and go through that panic when the wedding day gets closer and you still have lots to do.

Post # 11
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I knew my fiance was going to propose while we’d be visiting his family, but I was concerned about timing to wait for that trip…so I tried on dresses and started visiting venues before the ring.  Didn’t sign any contracts or put down money on anything until after the ring.

Post # 12
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think you should go too crazy, but you should talk to him about what date you want first and then start researching. Depending on the area you are in, vendors can be booked up to two years!

Post # 13
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Not going to lie here- I wish I had planned before my wedding. It would have taken a lot of stress off the begining of my planning period.

Before I was engaged I was really concious of my ringless left hand and it stopped me from planning. But now that I’ve been meeting with lots of vendors, I have never seen a vendor check that I had a ring or anything like that.

I say go for it as long as your SO is on board!

Post # 14
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes I’ll admit it, I started the planning before the proposal.  I knew it was gonna happen and we both knew we wanted a spring wedding this year so I went ahead and started getting ideas and collecting pictures.  But I didn’t book anything nor buy anything until the actual proposal.  I planned our wedding in less than 6 months so the pre-planning really did help me out a lot.  Good luck with everything!

Post # 14
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

@bells: Agree. A fall wedding for this year is, like, painfully soon. Don’t most venues fill up by this point?

Post # 15
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

I started planning in January 2011 for our wedding in October 2011.  He didn’t propose until April 2011 but I knew he had the ring and we both wanted a fall wedding this year.  I think it is very smart as I have the venue and my dress before the ring came! Two huge weights off my back – also I had done a ton of research for the DJ, photog, officiant, ect… so all I did was go back into my folder of saved info and it made for a much easier time.  There is still much to do, but all the big things are booked so I can breathe easy – I say go for it even if it IS just doing research, getting names, and comparing prices.

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