Is it odd if MIL wants sleep overs at her place?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

Mlim:  we spend the night at my in laws a few times a year but they are two hours away so usually it’s if we are exhausted and don’t want to make the trip back or if we’ve had too much to drink and can’t make the drive back. But with your mother in law only being an hour away I think it’s a little odd to insist on sleepovers. 

Post # 3
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

I don’t really see a problem with it, we usually sleep over at ILs for Christmas 🙂 I think it’s normal for mothers to want their family all under one roof every now and then.

Post # 5
Member
6859 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I don’t see anything strange about adult children sleeping over at their parents home occasionally. We always do when we are in town for holidays,  and the parents stay here when they are visiting us. It’s nice to spending the quality time together. I can’t imagine thinking of it as a “sleep-over.” At our stage, it’s visiting  family. Of course, we have kids, so it’s a different dynamic. 

I don’t think she can insist on you staying there,however.

Post # 6
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Mlim:  I don’t consider it normal (except when visiting at a long distance, but then it’s usually only once a year or so). I’d hate to sleep over at my parents or in-laws on a regular basis. Staying overnight is a whole extra level of effort (need to bring night clothes etc). Your FI is not her dependent child anymore, and she shouldn’t insist he sleeps over when her husband is away. My grandmothers lived by themselves for years, at a much older age than 48, once they were widowed.

Post # 7
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My FI and I LOVE sleeping over at his parents place. They live about 2.5 hours away in the country. For us, it’s like taking a little vacation when we can’t get away for a real vacation. We literally get the best sleeps of our lives there- it’s completely dark and absolutely silent at night. If we can get two nights there- even better! Such a great contrast from living downtown in the city. BUT, that’s just the particular context that we’re dealing with which makes the visits so pleasant. We’re also having our wedding there next summer. Also, his folks never get too pushy about our coming to visit, unless it’s been months. 

Post # 9
Member
6504 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Every one to two months doesn’t seem weird to me, especially since it’s a two hour drive.

Post # 10
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I think it’s strange to have a “sleepover” just because. If there’s a reason behind it, like a long day and you are too tired to drive back home,  or you’re visiting for more than a day, or even like one PP said they’re out in the country and it’s like a mini vacation. I think sleeping over when you can totally sleep at home no problem, and are just sleeping there just because, is odd. 

Just my personal opinion thouh, to each their own : )

Post # 11
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Mlim:  i don’t think it’s that weird. we usually stay over at mr. h’s mom’s every couple of months–we go to visit (they live an hour and a half away) and we end up hanging out all day, we go out to eat, we drink, talk, and then it’s late. we usually just crash. we keep spare clothes over there just in case we don’t plan to stay but do. if she wanted y’all to stay once a week i’d be like MOM OMG WE HAVE A LIFE!! but every few months, i don’t think is a big deal. sounds like it’s a close family which just makes it even less weird. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

We stay at my fiancés parents house maybe one or twice every other month. They live an hour and a half away. when we go to visit we almost always stay for the whole weekend (friday and saturday noghts) so we get to  see them properly and can see his sister and her family and his grandma who all live pretty close by.  I don’t think it’s necessarily normal but we like them and it’s a lot nocer than doing a 3 hour round trip in one day.

Post # 13
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t think it’s weird. My husband and I have slept over at my parents plenty of times, and his mother has also asked us to sleepover. They both live an hour and a half away from us so along with spending more time with them, they also don’t want us driving too much in one day if we don’t have to.

Post # 14
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Unless it’s for a holiday or something, yes I would find it odd. My SO is not her stand in husband for when she’s lonely.

Post # 15
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Mlim:  My MIL is married and only lives an hour and a half away and expects us to spend the night whenever we go there. We always say no. We don’t feel comfortable there (she rarely washes bedding and she’s a hoarder), so it is much better going home. With a child now, it is even easier saying no.

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