Post # 1
I should ‘fess up. I already sent Paperless Post invitations to my nine girlfriends yesterday inviting them. I’m pretty into etiquette, but I didn’t think of it as a faux pas! Is it? Here was the text of my invitation:
(It’s on one of the Jonathan Adler cards)
“Join us for Kate’s Bachelorette Weekend
____ Street, Ocean City, MD
RSVP to Kate, email, phone number”
There’s nothing about money or anything like that. I guess it’s more like a save the date. I followed up with an email chain to the nine girls invited saying that questions and info could go there as it becomes known. We will be staying for free in FI’s/MOH’s family beach house.
A couple of my girlfriends had been asking about plans (I had already told them about it in person), so I wanted to be sure that people knew about it in advance, since we will all be travelling. If everyone comes (unlikely), it will be 5 from NYC, 3 from DC, and one from Pittsburgh.
The friend from Pittsburgh emailed asking why I would be sending my own invitations. Is it a faux pas?? Too late, but I don’t want to do more damage. MOH is quite busy, and I don’t want to add to her stress. I asked her before I sent the Paperless Post. I don’t have any bridesmaids.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX
I don’t think it’s the norm and I don’t think I would have done it, however I wouldn’t say faux pas because it’s not an occassion where gifts are expected and the lodging is free. When it’s a shower or something where gifts are expected, then it breaks ettiquite to host it yourself. There’s nothing you can do at this point, so don’t sweat it!
Post # 4
I would think that the host of the bachelorette party should be the one sending the invites, not the bride. I would find it odd to RSVP to the bride.
Post # 5
Technically you aren’t supposed to host your bachelorette party so you shouldn’t send invitations. Has your MOH offered to host your bachelorette party? If so, I’d let her handle the inviting and organizing. That’s the host’s job. Your job is to provide a suggested guest list and contact information for those guests. If your nobody has offered to host your bachelorette, you have to decide if having a bachelorette is important enough to you that you’re okay with breaking traditional etiquette and hosting it yourself. That may or may not be well received by your friends.
The invitations you sent aren’t the end of the world. So don’t worry about it. Just let your MOH handle things from here. She should be the one doing the planning. If people have questions, refer them to her and give them her contact info.
Post # 6
@Kwhoa: I think if you are arranging and hosting the lodging then its kosher. Honestly, its ruder that your friend called you out on it!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I wouldn’t care. I know it isn’t etiquette, but an invite is an invite. I know some people are sticklers about these things much more than I am, though.
Post # 9
@JenGirl: MOH wants to help and work together I think. She has not specifically offered to host the bachelorette, but it is at her family’s beach house, so I think that may qualify her. So far she has just asked me what I want her to do. You’re right, I will stand back from this point.
@MrsBuesleBee: Ha! Yeah, thanks! I was embarassed! She was just a MOH extraordinaire for her other “fancy” friend. I’m constantly being compared, and it’s tough.
Post # 10
@Kwhoa: Sounds like a good plan! Your MOH sounds like the type that could maybe use some gentle nudging to get things organized in a timely fashion, so dropping hints here and there isn’t a bad idea. “Have you thought about invitations or what we’ll do for the bachelorette party? I know you’re handling things and will get everything together, I’m just so excited I can’t help myself! It’s going to be so much fun! Thank you so much for hosting!”
Post # 11
Whatever, you just sent a save the date kind of thing! It is rude of your friend to be all like “um yeah why did YOU send this?”
BTW, I did a bachelorette party in Ocean City a couple years back – where are you going?
Post # 12
I think it’s totally fine and I think it’s nice of you to help your MOH out with it. I think it was kind of rude of that girl to call you out.
Post # 13
@Kwhoa: since it’s a free weekend I don’t see the issue. It would be totally different if you were inviting them to a weekend away and expecting them to pay.
Post # 14
@JenGirl: Beautifully worded! That’s perfect!
@ebarnes0: Oh, so cool! What did you do there? We are planning on drinks, dancing, dinners, mani/pedis possibly, and probably Seacrets/ Fager’s and mixing in some nice, some not so fancy stuff! What did you do there? It will still be pretty chilly for us probably.
@thenewmrsmax: Thanks you for your words!
Post # 15
@Kwhoa: We went in April so it was chilly for us too!
We did dinner and then Seacrets.
This wasn’t my first rodeo with Seacrets, so I probably went in with a negative attitude (and I was sick and not drinking…so yeah I was probably a bit of a negative nancy) but man it was…an experience. The bride was happy, though, so whatever!
I tried to go to Fagers with some friends a couple years back, but we turned around when we were told the cover charge since we had just paid to get into Seacrets earlier that night.
Seacrets is definitely right for some people and not for others.
Post # 16
@ebarnes0: So very true! We grew up going to OC for summers, so we girls from Maryland know what to expect, but the NYC girls are in for a treat… for better or for worse!