Is it ok not to invite my bridemaids boyfriend?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Bunni0929:  does the bridesmaid know how you feel about him and know he’s a jerk? I mean, if she knows there is tension there you might be able to have a conversation about it with her and let her know you don’t want to disrespect her but don’t want him there. If she doesn’t know, yes, I think you have to invite him. It’s rude not to, especially since she’s in your wedding party. On the bright side, he won’t be with you when you are getting ready and you will probably barely see him at the wedding. I barely got to say two words to most guests as I  was so busy. So if he’s there he probably won’t be that annoying to you. 

Post # 4
6446 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Are you inviting other people’s SO? If so, than it’s not okay to exclude him. If I were your friend I would be very upset if my SO was not invited. Looks like you still have a year until your wedding though. Perhaps by then she won’t be with him anymore.


Post # 5
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

It depends how long she has been with him and if you have invited other bridesmaids/close friends’ boyfriends.


I had a similar situation where a very close friend of mine was having an affair with a married man and wanted him to be invited. I hated him and refused to invite him but i was planning on inviting all my other friends SO. Luckily they have broken up now so i dont have to bother!!


Does your friend know you feel like this about him?

Post # 6
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Pavilion at Rocky Neck State Park

Personally, I don’t see the problem. But then again I am not letting my BIL bring his girlfriend to the wedding. She is 14 (about to be 15) and he is 17 (almost 18). It is just inappropiate and there is an open bar (the bartender does have the right to card people). My parents (who are paying for the caterer) don’t need any trouble from angry parents.

Post # 7
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

She is your bridal party. She automatically should get a plus one.

Post # 9
8847 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

If she’s been dating him for years (like it sounds in your post), in my opinion it’s a pretty dick move to ask her to be in your wedding party and then not even invite her bf.  I highly doubt that having him there will ruin your day – you’ll have waaaay too much going on to focus on one douchey guy!

Post # 11
6666 posts
Bee Keeper

According to etiquette the only guests automatically entitled to +1s are people who are engaged, married, or living together in a romantic relationship.  However, if you extend invitations to all the other SOs the bridal party members, you will find it hard to justify excluding him.  For this “winner”, I might be willing to make an exception. 

Post # 12
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Be prepared for the end of your friendship if you do not include her SO.

Post # 13
7019 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Bunni0929:  Given that extra information… I would not. This is not your average unpleasant jerk, this a criminal and probably an abuser.

In fact TBH the bigger question is supporting her and help her leave this loser.

But tell your BM as soon as possible, so she has the option of dropping out.

Post # 15
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Yes, you have to invite him. She’s your BM, she gets a plus one. There will be plenty of people there, you can ignore him. 

Post # 16
2534 posts
Sugar bee

In my experience, members of the bridal party always get a +1

It may severely damage/end your friendship with her if you don’t. It sucks that he is an ass but he will be the last thing you will be thinking about on your wedding day.

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