Is it ok that at my wedding I WANT my mom to wear the same color as me?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@hazydaisy97:  It’s really your decision, but one of the reasons why it’s best for just the bride to wear white/white like colors is for photos. People’s eyes are naturally drawn to white, so you will stand out in the photo. If you both wear white/champagne, it could be a little distracting in the photo. Also, some people might side eye at the wedding.

But it is up to you because you are the bride!

Post # 4
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

I would definitely think that was strange if I were a guest. But I wouldn’t care either, as long as the bride was happy.

Post # 5
Member
4540 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

People might say things, but if you make it common knowledge that you asked her to also wear champagne, it will be much easier to handle. Tell some girl friends who you know will spread it around at the reception. The fact that it’s your mother does instantly make it less likely to look like a faux pas. 

Post # 6
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

If your mom also wants to wear champange who cares? 

Post # 7
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 1994

My mom wore an outfit that was the same color as my wedding dress. I actually picked it out for her the same day I bought my dress!

Post # 8
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@hazydaisy97:   I don’t think it would make her look bad, I am sur everyone will know for weddings mothers and daughters shop together and likely will know you did it like that for a reason thats what you want 🙂

 

I think its beautiful I am really close to my mother as well and ever since I started looking for my dress I been wanting to look for something amazing for her too she looks best in red and green so i hoping to find her something thats amazing 

Post # 9
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

It’s okay if you’re okay with it, but I warn you that if guests don’t know you’ve okayed it they might give her some stink-eye.

Post # 10
Member
11001 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I actually have no idea if formal etiquette says anything about the MOB’s attire other than regarding the length and formality of her dress based on the time of day and formailty of the wedding and the fact that she cannot wear black. For what it’s worth, I have been to several weddings where the MOB has worn champagne or even ivory, while the bride was wearing ivory or white. There are many people who believe that the bride’s mother has a very significant place of honor and prominence at her daughter’s wedding — traditionally as hostess, and that she ought to be the second best-dressed woman at the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

@hazydaisy97:  Well first there is NO RULE that says guests cannot wear white.  It is not polite to try to overshaddow the bride or to take attention away from the couple.  But crazy other brides have extrapolated that to mean no white, not even in the stamen of a flower.

Your mom can wear whatever she likes.  If she wants to wear matching colours she can go nuts.  This is not a matter of etiquette but a matter of personal taste and style.

Post # 12
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

I would consider how your FI’s mother might feel as well.  Are you just asking your mother to match or both?  Both women should feel special on your day.

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