Post # 1
I did not plan on paying for hair and makeup for my maids as I am going broke paying for the wedding itself and I have always paid for my own when I was in a bridal party. I’m not requiring them to have it done and they have all been fine with paying for it themselves. They all want to have makeup done and only one girl is opting out of hair. Their expenses are on the average to low end of the bridesmaid spectrum (reasonable dress, minimal travel, low key shower with both moms contrbuting as well) so I didn’t feel that bad about it.
Just about every cent is accounted for when it comes to my budget; however, researching hair and makeup is making me rethink things a bit. After weeks of research, the CHEAPEST rates I can find are $85 for makeup and $90 for hair without gratuity. I feel really guilty asking them to spend that much. Last year I only paid about $160 (25% tip included) for both hair and make up in another state. I have no idea where I would come up with the money myself but I’d rather take on the burden than place it on them if at all possible. I really do not want to skip it altogether either!
So 2 questions: 1. Should I leave it alone and just tell them the cost as we have already agreed that they would pay? 2. If I could somehow find the funds to cover hair and makeup, would it be rude to ask them to tip their stylists? This would save me quite a bit.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
If you are covering the service as a courtesy, being asked to cover the tip seems like a slap in the face. I am only getting my hair/makeup/nails done this way to please you as the bride so I look the way you want me to in your pictures.
Edit: You’re asking them to pay for it too? Oh heck no. Let them do their own hair and makeup if you can’t afford to pay for it.
Post # 4
@Mademoiselle-G: I would just tell them the prices – as they have already agreed to pay. If anyone has an issue with it, they should still have the option of doing it themselves (as you said you gave them the choice!). I would just send a text/email, saying “here are the prices – please let me know if you are still interested so I can tell the makeup/hair woman the correct amount of girls getting it done” and then go from there. Also – if you can cover it, I think it would be fine to say “I will pay for hair/makeup but please cover the tip”.
Post # 5
@Mademoiselle-G: If they have already agreed to pay for the hair and make-up costs that would definitely include any necessary tipping. I don’t see why you would need to pay anything towards this if they have all agreed to pay individually.
Post # 6
@weatherbug: I agree. If I knew the price upfront and could still back out if it cost too much, I would have no problem with it. I might even do my own research and maybe with another set of eyes someone will find something cheaper.
Post # 7
I told my maids the cost of the services and asked if they were interested. The end.
Post # 8
@Mademoiselle-G: I’m not requiring them to have it done and they have all been fine with paying for it themselves.
Then you’re good to go. You’re not forcing anyone to get their hair or make up done. I know you may feel a little bad, but if they choose to get hair/make up done, they can pay for it.
Post # 9
I think it would be a really nice gesture to offer to pay and have them just cover tip, since it’s SO expensive!
Post # 10
For my girls it went like this – If they didn’t want to cover the costs they didn’t have to. It was just thrown out there as something for them to consider IF they wanted it done professionally.
Post # 11
No you can’t really pay and be like “But can I have ten bucks to tip the stylist”.
If you want you COULD cover like, half, and they can cover the rest and I’d expect would then add tip on top of that. But since they all already decided to do hair, just tell them the price to expect. If they decide they can’t afford it then they don’t have to do it.
Just as an aside, that IS really pricey… 85 bucks for a bridesmaid updo? yikes
Post # 12
@weatherbug and @StL.Ashley: That’s what I was thinking. Just give them the price but of course they can opt out or go elsewhere. They were under the impression that they were going to pay for it anyway.
Also thinking about it as a former bridesmaid, I would not feel slighted in the least to cover the tip. Any courtesy (no matter how small) that the bride is willing to provide would be graciously accepted and appreciated. But, everyone seems to find it tacky.
By that logic, here is a related/ unrelated question: Is splitting costs (for dresses, hair, makeup, anything really) also rude?
Post # 13
@Mademoiselle-G: I have alwasys been one of the brides in the minority in this case.
They know the prices, if they want to get their hari and make up done they pay and tip themselves. If I am someones BM, I expect to pay for hair and makeup, its part of the role.
I think anything the bride offers to cover is generous (again, as a BM i expect to pay for dress, shoes, hair, makeup, shower, bachelorette,), so no. I do not believe it is tacky if you are asking to split a cost
Post # 14
@Mademoiselle-G: have you looked into a beauty school? My God Daughter was married last weekend, and she did it there. They were super excited and did a stellar job! It was $20 for hair and $23 for makeup. They did a trial for the bride, and the same person did both the trial and day of. They were so excited, in fact, they closed the place down so they could focus on the bridal party. I had Panera bring pastries and coffee–she felt spoiled, and was on a tight budget as well. 🙂
Post # 15
@Tess63110: That is a fabulous idea! I’ll look into it. Thanks!
Post # 16
@JessSeny: That’s how I feel about it too. In my opinion, if you are unable or unwilling to shell out the time, energy, and money to be a bridesmaid then you should politely decline. I didn’t mind any of my duties or expenses when I was a bridesmaid. It came with the territory and I was glad to do it to support my friends.
My girls have been great but this price tag makes me feel guilty. I thought a compromise would benefit everyone involved.