Is it OK to change your engagement ring style or is it rude?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
2927 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

It’s ok to change it if it is ok with your DH or FI. I have had 3 different sets. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  JessMorgan777.
Post # 3
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

what JessMorgan777: said. but if it isn’t okay to him, why not wait to upgrade on your first anniversary? 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s between you and him. I don’t think it’s rude but it depends on how he feels. I’m thankful I can be open with my DH and hopefully you can be honest with your FI and get something different.

Post # 5
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am trying to picture myself in your shoes.  I told DH I didn’t care for princess or marquise cut diamonds.  He agreed that he also liked RB best, so it didn’t become and issue.  I wonder how I would have felt if he would have got me a cut he knew I didn’t like?  I guess I would want to change too.  I don’t know.

Post # 6
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

As a jeweler has explained to me before, the reason round is better is because the round shape reflects light better and they appear shinier (read: bigger). Wait until you get it and if you really hate it, it sounds like he’s open to exchange it. And who knows, maybe the price difference will result in bigger rocks for you 🙂 Everyone wins.

Post # 7
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Since he asked and then didn’t listen to what you had to say, you should be okay to change it. It’s not like he didn’t know exactly what you wanted, after all.<br />

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  MadamPince. Reason: random html weirdness
Post # 8
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

Keep the ring the way he got it for you. It sounds like he spent time thinking about various aspects of the ring for you so I would try to appreciate that. if you really like a different type of ring, try getting one for a birthday or anniversary, that way you have control over what it looks like. I wouldn’t change a ring he spent time specifically picking out for you. Just be grateful he wants to spend his life with you. Put yourself in his shoes, if you spent a lot of time choosing something for him, thinking about all the different aspects of it and finally came to a decision you really liked. Then you gave it to him and he wanted to change something pretty trivial about it. How would that make you feel?

Post # 9
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

islandpinapple: why not invest the difference? Diamonds do not hold their value well. You won’t get anything close to what he paid on the secondary market, so that is a non factor. 

If he’s ok with it, exchange your ring for a square diamond one and use the difference to buy life insurance. 

Post # 10
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

islandpinapple:  Tell your FI that the information his jeweler fed him was a bunch of BS.  Ask anyone who has solved an engagement.  You never get half of what you invested.  Whether you have round stones or princess cut stones.  Investment diamonds are not ones us mere normal mortals can afford since they have six an seven figure price tags and up.  Get the engagement ring you want and tell your FI this family friend isn’t much of a friend since they lied to him.

 

Post # 11
Member
1101 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Unless he spent tens of thousands of dollars on the ring it won’t be much of a financial buffer if God forbid something did happen to him because rings lose so much of their value.  So if it’s an average priced ring it won’t be worth enough for you to live on if you needed to sell it.  I’d wait to see the ring on my finger and if I really didn’t like it I’d talk to him and see if he’d be willing to change the stone shape.

Post # 12
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Yes, I think it’s rude.

Post # 13
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

You have to wear it the rest of your life. You need to be happy with it and there is nothing wrong not liking it and since you told him that you dont like round diamonds, I dont think its rude at all. Its not fair that [we] are demonized for not liking a ring that we have to wear for the rest of our lives and risk being considered rude or ungrateful. Rubbish. He should understand and respect your feelings and change it for you. 

Post # 14
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Personally, I think it is rude. <br /><br />He put a lot of effort into choosing something for you and gave it to you on the day he proposed (another ring won’t have that sentimental value). Also, he has clearly said he doesn’t want to exchange it. Try and see it as a symbol of his love rather than just an aesthetic piece of jewellery. 

Post # 15
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

Rude, no not unless you switch it without asking. My ring is a reset and we both love it better than the original. But I also wasn’t allowed to switch out my center stone. FI got me a round even though I love cushions. So I have it in a 4 prong setting that squares it off a bit,  plus side stones.  Since FI picked out your rounds with intent I would wear that baby because of all the thought he invested.  In the end sentimentality wins out most. 

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