Post # 1
Would you have a bridal shower even though you are having a destination wedding? If yes, would you invite people who already RSVP that they won’t be coming to the wedding? I don’t want to be inappropriate and I know my guests who are coming are already spending so much money on the trip itself but my sisters insist that I have a party. What do you think? As a guest how would you feel?
Post # 3
I think the general rule of thumb is that anyone invited to a shower should also be invited to the wedding. If someone has already gotten and declined an invite to the wedding, especially a DW, it’s totally fine to invite them to a shower and might actually be a nice way for them to be able to participate in a celebration when they can’t make the wedding itself.
Post # 4
Anyone invited to a shower, bachelorette, or engagement party, must be invited to the wedding itself.
It is 100% ok to include those who were invited but cannot attend the DW to a shower!
Post # 5
@Jullsz: Given that your event is still a year a way, no one has formally declined an invite. So you are free to have a shower, if someone is lovely enough to offer to host one for you. But everyone who is invited to the shower, must later receieve a formal invitation to the wedding.
Post # 6
I would still have a shower and invite those that have already been invited to the wedding. I attended a DW and the bride had a shower. It was well-received by those that couldn’t attend the DW itself (especially family members) for financial reasons as this gave them a chance to celebrate with the bride. ALL guests have the option to spend as much or as little as they want on your shower gift, so you don’t need to feel guilty that they are already spending $$$ to get to your DW.
Post # 7
The idea of EVERYONE being invited to a Wedding Event, MUST come from the Guest List is pretty “general”
Depending on regional customs, in many places it is also perfectly OK to have events where non-invited Wedding Guets get invited (or do the organizing). Be that for a Shower, Bachelor / Bachelorette Party etc…
In most places such folks to organize such things are … Co-Workers, Church Mates, Club Friends etc
When it comes to a Destination Wedding, it not uncommon that the Guest List is a short one… so people are quite understanding that they may not be invited. Many times therefore someone in your ring of friends might decide to throw a shower for you prior to the Wedding so they can get together and share in your happiness
On the otherhand, it is also quite common for the Bride & Groom to host and Open House or a Back-Home Reception for their friends & family so they can celebrate a bit with you after the fact
Hope this helps,
EDIT TO ADD – Have just read the reply by lilbluebird and it seems to imply that the Bride hosted HER OWN shower… this is NEVER appropriate… all Wedding events need to be hosted by Friends or Family… otherwise it clearly looks like an oportunistic “gift graft” by the couple (the one exception is the Wedding itself… that can be hosted by anyone including the Bride & Groom).
Post # 8
@This Time Round: Oh, I guess I should be more clear. The shower was actually hosted by her MOH. But I agree, the bride shouldn’t host her own shower! That being said, B+G did host a wedding reception back at home and invited a very large number of people.