Is it ok to send Save the date cards with RSVP? Need advice thank you.

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
957 posts
Busy bee

I don’t understand… A save the date is just saying “Save the date, you’re going to be invited!” If a guest says they can’t come after receiving a save the date, I think ettiquette says they should still receive an invitation. 

If I get a save the date in January and I can’t make the wedding, but get the invitation in May, there’s a chance my plans changed in those 5 months and now I’m able to attend. 

I would just scrap the save the date and just have an invitation. I think that should cut the cost enough for you.

Post # 3
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

STDs are to ask guests to ‘save the date’, but it doesn’t count as an invitation.  If you’re trying to save money, maybe skip the STDs and do invitations with RSVPs.

Post # 5
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Anyone who gets a save the date needs to get an invitation.  People’s schedules change all the time, so some might say not think they can make it at the time of the STD, but find out later they can.

What you could do though, is just find cheaper invitations.  If you’re really on a tight budget, you can just do evites.  Or you can look into sites like Vistaprint – they have groupons and 20% off coupons all the time.  Or you can do electronic or phone RSVPs (save on RSVP cards, return envelopes, and return postage).

Post # 7
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We did email save the dates and then mailed regular invitations so that saved some $.  You do have to mail invitations to everyone you’re sending a STD to, even if they say they can’t make it.  Search for less expensive invitation options as well.  Our Vistaprint invites have been well received and didn’t break the bank and now I have more $ to spend on stuff at the reception that guests will actually enjoy, rather than paper that they will likely throw away!

Post # 10
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Lilxaatheaa:  Yeah, I totally didn’t follow etiquette at all. We made our own STDs and just gave them to family honestly, but they were worthless. It’s just telling people to Save our date, but no, you don’t know if they’re coming or not, and more than often they aren’t going to call you up and say they can’t come and that will excuse you from sending an invite. Not sure if that was direction you were headed to save money. If I were you I’d just send an invite with an RSVP card. Even if they can’t come, you should still send an invite.

Post # 8
1258 posts
Bumble bee

I can kind of speak to this since we had some struggles with the same thing. We sent out a “save the date” postcard with a short note on the back explaining we chose to do a destination wedding in Cuba and would love to have you come and celebrate with us, yada yada and that we have booked with a travel agent that is more than happy to answer any questions and book travel for our guests too. We provided her contact info and our wedding website where all the pricing and info was located too. 

We placed an RSVP page on our wedding website, but just figured we would use that after we send out actual invites, but a few people that have booked their travel or are going to have rsvped through it. 

I do wish however, that I had just done an invitation in the first place. And then followed up a few months before the wedding with a reminder and sending a packet of info to the guests that have booked. 

Post # 11
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Lilxaatheaa:  we gave our guests an option to rsvp starting with our save the date, but we also followed that up with a more formal invitation including an rsvp deadline.  If you are sending one thing to invited guests and asking ppl to rsvp based on that and that alone, then that one thing actually is your invitation, not a save the date, so you shouldn’t say save the date on it and should include rsvp info and deadline along with all other information that you’d normally include in an invitation.  what we did (it’s worked really well so far):

  1. 11 mos out – sent out save the dates & allowed ppl to rsvp and gave travel & hotel info
  2. 2 to 4.5 mos out – sent out invitations w/rsvp info (including an enclosure that said “thank you for your rsvp, please let us know by [rsvp deadline] if your plans change” for those who’d already rsvpd)
  3. 1 to 4 mos out – rsvp deadline (depending on when guest received invite)
  4. 2 mos out- emailed and posted on our site wedding info packets to those who’d rsvpd yes & began sending out email and text hotel reminders for those w/o reservations before our hotel blocks began to close
Post # 12
6166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

the only DW i was invited to, i received the invitation 8 months in advance.

she didn’t send STDs.


Post # 13
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015



If you are worried about costs, just send the invites and don’t send STDs. I would not ever include an RSVP in a STD. Most people might not even know their scheduels, will cancel, or will be able to come when they thought they couldn’t. You will create way more work for yourself. Anyone who receives an STD also receives an invitation.

Also, you don’t need to send STDs to your entire guest list, or even at all.

Post # 14
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

Lilxaatheaa:  STDs are meant only for your VIP group.  They do NOT go to everyone you are thinking of inviting.  They simply say, ‘hey, heads up we’re getting married on this date and we’d like to invite you…look for the formal invite closer to’

If you want to cut cost, instead of sending a paper STD, just CALL your VIPs and let them know.  When it gets closer to you can send out actual invitations having saved the money in the first place.

Post # 15
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I dont think STDs are necessary. I have been invited to 5 destination weddings – attending 2. None of the couples send out STDs. They just send by emails and facebook invite or set up a website to let everyone known in advance. And then invitation with RSVP mostly through website or email. And that is what I am doing as well. Email – STDs 1 year in advance, with a website for guests to see all the information. Formal invitation by mail. RSVP through google form. Maybe, you can only do STD for guests that dont have access to emails/ facebook. 

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