Post # 1
I was using my SO phone and I saw on FB he told a girl he once told me he wish he had a chance with before he met me “Happy birthday beautiful I hope you enjoy your day!” I kinda flipped out on him. I got even more mad when I asked him do he think its appropriate for him to say that to someone while we are working on our relationship. He said No it’s not inappropriate! It’s no big deal I’m over reacting. I said yes it is inappropriate I wouldn’t think for one second it’s ok while in a relationship.
Edit: He doesn’t speak that way unless he’s speaking to me or his mom.
The question is Do you think it’s appropriate for your SO to say that to someone?
Post # 3
I call my female friends beautiful.
I call my male friends handsome.
I tell them I love them.
Post # 4
@MrsVMT: I think it depends on how he usually talks to people. If it’s normal for him to do that, then it’s fine. My FI never talks to other people like that so I would definitely be offended if I saw that he did that.
Post # 5
I would not have a problem with what he wrote.
Post # 6
@Hyperventilate: 100% agree.
Girl, be confident, he is with you. Until he proves otherwise don’t freak out over the small stuff.
Post # 7
I voted other.
I wouldn’t have a problem with him saying, “Happy birthday beautiful!”
What I WOULD have a problem with is him telling me that he’d wished he had a chance with her before he met me!
Obviously he didn’t get a chance with her, and if he’s happy in our relationship, he shouldn’t be regretting not having a chance with some other woman, because at this point it shouldn’t matter! And even if he was thinking that, why say it? What could he possibly hope to gain from that?
Post # 8
That type of language isn’t part of my regular vocabulary so if I said something like that to someone it would be out of the ordinary and I can really only imagine saying things like that while flirting. But for some people thats just how they talk so it would be expected.
Post # 9
@Hyperventilate: I would totally agree but he doesn’t speak that way unless he’s talking to me or his mom.
Post # 10
I think he was trying to be polite and complimentary, but since it bothers you and you are working on your relationship… No, he shouldn’t be saying things like that. As a PP, I have called other males handsome, but it by no means is a threat or reflection on my FI. FI also has dated very beautiful girls in the past and I’m not bothered by it since I agree his ex-gfs were very beautiful. The fact that it bothers you makes it inappropriate, IMO.
eta: I also agree with rachelmichelle!
Post # 11
@asscherlover: Exactly. The only person I ever call handsome other than my FI is my grandfather. Hah! I call my female friends all kinds of nice things but I never talk to my male friends like that and I think my FI would be rightfully upset if I did that all of a sudden.
Post # 12
Yes to this! If he’s a verbally affectionate guy, then it’s totally okay. That’s his language. If he hardly ever says anything like this, then it’s a little inappropriate.
Post # 13
I’d have a problem with it because clearly the two of you are having problems. He should be watching himself more carefully right now.
Though, I’d not be terribly happy about my FI saying that to another woman at any time.
Post # 14
I think that him saying he wish he’d had a chance with her is more inappropriate than him saying “Happy birthday, beautiful.” That is what would bug me.
That said, I would be a little worried if my FI said that to someone, but only because he doesn’t normally talk that way to anyone but me.
Post # 15
No I would be very uncomfortable with that (but then my hubs does not really speak like that to anyone except me, ever) so it would ring alarm bells for me.
Post # 16
@MrsVMT: I have no advice for that that you would like. Just because he calls someone else beautiful doesn’t mean he’s popping a boner for them. It’s a figure of speech for most men.