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We aren't having one either. We are even skipping the rehearsal! It would have cost us double to book our officiant for a rehearsal and we felt like our family could kind of guide us through the night before if we really needed it. Since we are renting a beach house and everyone who would have been at the rehearsal is staying there we are just going to do like a BBQ or something.
we are having a rehearsal but the officiant isnt coming. Basically, I think it's still important to make sure everyone know's how to line up and walk down to the music at the right time etc
I don't think it should be expected of you to throw a rehearsal dinner. That can be a huge added expense. Maybe you can coordinate to have everyone meet you at a lounge for a couple drinks afterward. In the understanding that they'll all have to pay for whatever they get.
I don't think it's a big deal to skip the rehearsal dinner! Don't worry too much about it.
Or, depending on where you are and the weather, maybe you could have a cookout or something very inexpensive? Or just a small appetizer kind of gathering, just to show your appreciation?
I get you on the budget issue, but I think it's still nice to feed people if you want them to come and rehearse. Before FMIL offered to host a real rehearsal dinner, we were just going to order pizza. So maybe you could do something like that.
we arent having a formal rehearsal dinner either because we are paying for it all ourselves as well.
no invites or anything, just after the rehearsal there will be an open invitation (annouced at the rehearsal) to come back to our place for drinks... maaaybe a BBQ, maybe...only if we have the funds at the time, which we don't have to determine until pretty much the week of the rehearsal.
i kind of wish we weren't doing one... but we aren't rehearsing so i think it's kind of silly for us, it's just an excuse for another party that i don't have time for.
but i kind of agree with girlwitharing, if you're bringing people there to rehearse, it would be nice to feed them, even if it's cheap.
Are you having the rehersal the night before the wedding or a couple of nights before? If it's not the night before the wedding than you can offer for people to come back to your house. A couple of pizzas can be inexpensive and at least you are offering something. But even if you don't do anything I think as long as you explain this people will understand.
could you do something pretty inexspensive, like pizza? thats what were doing. ooo or how about like a spaghetti bar with different sauces and salad that wouldnt cost to much
We are using the 'rehearsal dinner' time for our parents to meet for the first time. It will just be the small group of us. While the rehearsal may be necessary if you have a large wedding party, the dinner shouldn't be a necessary point of that.
I think you can do what you want. Since it was a budget thing for us, had pizza and beer. We were lucky as the pizza was only $5 a box and the beer was free as my dad has a kergerator at his house.
Serve pizza and soda which doesn't cost anything. You should have something. However, rehearsal dinners are not elaborate and are supposed to be casual lowkey affairs.
I don't think it's necenssary for a rehearsal dinner at all but make sure to do a rehearsal even if it's a quick walk through, even if it's an imagined one. my sis didn't do one and everyone was scrambling before hand because no one knew what was supposed to happen or where anyone was supposed to be. It was kind of a mess and she didn't even have a bridal party.
For our wedding, we wanted to make sure that people coming in from out of town could eat and socialize, but didn't want to spend a fortune at it. We just ordered a bunch of pizzas. It was very low-key and inexpensive.
I agree with commenters who have encouraged the idea of a very inexpensive rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner is a tradition for some pretty good reasons; it's just nice form for a host to treat the wedding party to a meal after asking them to attend a rehearsal which has probably taken away from other things they might have been doing (and may even take place during a workday) and, perhaps most importantly, provides an opportunity for close family and friends to get to know each other, either for the first time or a bit better, before the big day. Rehearsal dinners haven't always been the lavish affairs that they sometimes are now, though, and the suggestions here are good ones- you could just order pizza with some sodas, for example. My family's rehearsal dinners have typically consisted of a few plates of barbeque and potato salad in the church fellowship hall. Your best option might even be a potluck, so that everyone could still have a chance to relax and socialize together but you wouldn't be out much money at all. I even think it wouldn't be impolite to just ask everyone to get together at a restaurant, making sure they understood there would be separate checks, though perhaps the potluck or pizza-at-home idea might be more intimate. If it simply isn't possible at all for you, then of course don't stress about it and just be firm and confident in your responses to people who ask about it, but perhaps consider some of these other low-cost alternatives.
I really don't think it's a necessity, and it isn't all that old of a tradition. I've been in four weddings and none of them had a rehearsal dinner. I think it's a great and fun idea if a couple can afford it, but I actually in some ways thinks its weird that couples are now expected to put on a dinner the night before the wedding and then dinner at the wedding too! That's a lot of meals to be paying for. Again, it's lovely if you have the money for that but it's now one more thing that couples are now expected to make happen.
Some alternative meals are definitely worth considering. I'd hesitate with a potluck unless all of your wedding party and family that are coming to the dinner would have the time and a kitchen that day to make something.
We're thinking that we're more likely to get together with our closest friends (which would include all the bridal party) for a drink or two at one of our favorite bars the night before. Much of our family will already be in town for a few days, so they'll have time to meet for the wedding. Our family will be here bonding over making things for the wedding and celebrating Christmas and I think that's enough.
I think it's totally fine not to have a rehearsal dinner. We're thinking of skipping it, too. People will understand that you can't afford it! I don't think people go into their loved-ones' weddings looking for a reason to judge, ya know? They're there FOR you, not to judge you
We're having our rehearsal the morning of the wedding (there must be another event the night before mine). So I was planning on having bagels & mimosas for everyone to munch on. I may even try to get the venue to provide the champagne for that morning...
A rehearsal dinner is a thank you to those involved in the rehearsal. If you have the rehearsal, you must somehow feed those people afterwards - it can be as simple as pizza and beer at your apartment.
I read on a wedding website recently that a lot of people aren't having rehearsal dinners anymore. It's up to you and your budget!
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Me and FI are paying for our wedding and everything ourselves so either of our parents arent chipping in for everything. People have been asking us if we are going to have a rehearsal dinner. We just told them no we cant afford to pay for everyone's meal which is the truth. I mean, it was either that or have one and make everyone pay for there meal which I think is rude. Is it ok to not have a rehearsal dinner?