Post # 1
So my friend is having a baby and I just found out what she is having. It’s her first child and she’s also engaged to be married too.
Anyway she created a registry with Baby’s R Us. I checked out the registry, but it’s a lot of expensive stuff. Most things were not under 60 bucks, I think the cheapest was 30. There were a lot of big ticket items on there like a stroller, car seat, bumbo seat, and other bit ticket baby items. I understand she needs those things, but I’m a single gal and don’t make a whole lot of money. I’m also moving this month and struggling to pay bills.
I decided to make her a basket with a bunch of baby necessities, such as baby wipes, some bibs, socks, baby cleaning cloths, some teething toys, a book and a little basket to hold laundry or diapers for the baby.
I feel guilty that I can’t buy her anything off her registry, but it’s really expensive and I really don’t have the money. I’m trying desperately to save for first and last month’s rent, which will be over a grand. Plus I have to pay my regular bills as well. I also have student loan and a car loan as well (I don’t own a new car, it’s old but I had to get a loan to buy it because I had literally no savings and had just graduated!). So money for me is a bit tight.
And her family isn’t really supporting her during this time either. She doesn’t talk to her mom. Her brother and sister are not really helping either (they are just being grumpy) and her dad is also not talking to her. I feel bad for her and want to help, but I can barely cover my own expenses.
So is it really bad I haven’t gotten her anything off the registry? I talked to my bf about this and he said it would be okay. The registry is more for family and people that can afford to pitch in with other people to buy stuff.
I don’t know of anyone I could pitch in with to get anything. I’m not friends with any of her friends and don’t have contact info for any of them either.
Post # 3
@sarabee: Her big ticket items are not your responsibility. She’ll get the most use out of necessities as you described.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@sarabee: I don’t think it’s terrible at all. Buy here some diapers and wipes in the next size up from newborn. She may not appreciate them right away but that one night when she discovers the newborn sizes no longer fit, she will be extremely thankful to have the next size up there and ready to use. Your basket idea sounds great.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
It’s totally fine. Gifts really aren’t necessary. and you’re still showing your support. All those things you listed are needs, and I think that’s perfectly okay.
Post # 6
If I’m ever in a situation where the registry is too pricey for me I usually do a giftcard in an amount I can afford and a pack of diapers if I know they are going disposable or a cheap cute onesie if I’m not sure.
Post # 7
It’s fine. Get her something you can afford. It’s not your responsibility to buy things for her family anyway, so don’t feel bad about not being able to get something off of the registry.
Post # 8
@sarabee: I think your basket gift sounds lovely. It’s sweet that you want to help her out, but as a PP said that is not your responsibility. You can’t get behind on your bills to get your friend a stroller; as much as you may want to.
Post # 9
I think it’s totally fine! When I was in school I usually made baskets (like what you’re doing) because I could not afford to spend a lot of money either. People appreciate those necessities!
Post # 10
Usually expensive items on a baby registry are there so the coworker shower can pool contributions and buy them. They aren’t all things she expects from friends. Plus unpurchased registry items get a discount, so she’s likely just including them so she can buy them later for less.
Post # 11
It’s perfectly ok. Your gift sounds great!
Post # 12
Totally fine. If (for whatever reason) she doesnt like what you give her, it’s her own “fault” for not including cheaper things on the registry.
Post # 13
- Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon
A lot of people make “diaper cakes.” They’re really cure, just be sure the couple is going disposable!
If not, I’m sure there are tutorials for the same idea with socks, hats, onsies, and other items. Registries are like wishlists, and if you don’t buy anything off of it, it’s still a gift, and she’ll (should) be grateful.
Post # 14
@sarabee: 7.5 months preggo here and your gift sounds fantastic. I appreciate gifts given from the registry, but I also appreciate others giving me essentials (like wipes and diapers), things they make, or just items they can afford. Don’t beat yourself up; you are very thoughtful just getting ANY gift for your friend.
Post # 15
I think it’s great!
The only time I wouldn’t go off registry is if you’re getting something really unusual or frivolous or decorative (applies to weddings more) that they didn’t specifically ask for. No one wants a gift they would never use or think is ugly.
I would maybe look for some lists on the most-used baby items and try to stock up on some of those essentials (or make sure what you’re planning is listed on there!) for your gift!
Post # 16
@sarabee: she needs a million of search of the little things you mentioned but as a new mom she doesn’t realize they are more important than jumpers and stuff. I say absolutely do your idea. I’m broke and have gone to 6 baby showed in the past 8 months. I buy three yards of fabric on sale and make a receiving blanket, burp cloths and bibs for each baby. No big ticket items from me ever!