Is it okay to start planning the wedding even when you aren't really engaged yet

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t think it’s too out of the ordinary.  As long as you’re both on board with it, I don’t see a problem.  I would not book any vendors until it’s offical, though.

My fiance and I started planning before we were officially engaged – it just sort of happened naturally.  I got a little impatient, though, and after an argument about the guest list (still pre-engagement!), I put my foot down, and said no more wedding planning until we are official!  🙂

Post # 3
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Most women look at pretty wedding stuff before they actually get engaged and think about what they would like. So I dnot think its a big deal. I would not be booking anything though. If a couple does book things together then I think regardless of any proposal they are for all intents and purposes engaged. 

Post # 4
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I had a pinterest board that was set to secret before being engaged. We had talked about it at that point and I knew we were heading that way. My now fiance did know about it but I didn’t want everyone I know seeing it. I didn’t book anything until after we were engaged.

Post # 5
1499 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t book anything without knowing how you are paying for it!!! But otherwise, go ahead and collect ideas…. ever heard of that website, you know, pinterest? lol

Post # 6
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Columbia, SC

alexnbrian:  Daydreaming and looking at/considering ideas are one thing, booking venues and stuff are something else. 

Post # 7
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

Confession: I started planning our wedding as soon as we started saying, “You’re the one I want to marry.” That was 6 months after we started dating and we had a 3 and a half year dating relationship and a 6 month engagement. I got my wedding dress just before our one year aniversary. Call me crazy, and yes I could have been setting myself up for disaster had we not worked out. But we both knew we were going to get married and we did. So I didn’t set myself up for disaster. 😛 That’s how I justify buying the wedding dress so early. Hehe

Post # 8
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I admit … I was pinteresting my “future” wedding without ever knowing if I was ever getting engaged or not.  I kept it to myself though.  I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it or feel like I’m pressure my FH about it especially since we weren’t even engaged yet at the time. 

It just helps to have some ideas and somewhat get ahead on what you would like before the time actually comes where you do get engaged. Nothing wrong with a little “window” shopping LOL.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  lilwickedful. Reason: forgot something to add
Post # 9
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If it’s only a month to wait then I would probably wait. Of course I would be looking at stuff online but not making any concrete plans. 

Post # 10
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I had some very firm ideas/plans while I was waiting, and I think it has helped a lot to avoid the engagement whirlwind and stress that sometimes happens. Getting ideas while you’re still level headed about the wedding (but NOT booking vendors, PPs are spot on) can help you once you’re engaged and people are throwing their own ideas at you!

Post # 11
290 posts
Helper bee

It depends on what you mean by “planning”. I would hardly call using pinterest and looking through bridal magazines as planning. If you’re already putting money down on vendors and venues that would be planning, in which case I would recommend waiting.

Post # 12
119 posts
Blushing bee

I would wait to book anything, but window shopping never hurt anybody. Inquire, gather prices, get ideas ect. 

Post # 13
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

my best friend is plannig before engagement, only because the whole wedding thing came up out of nowhere and they decided on a wedding date before even being engaged… The wedding is 8 months away now so she had to get on booking venues and dress shopping despite not being engaged just yet… They picked out a ring but have to wait 8 weeks for shipping so I’m sure by then he will pop the question.

Post # 14
33 posts
  • Wedding: April 2015

*blushes* I had the tuxes booked 4 months before we got engaged… only because I won them at a bridal show… which I went to because I wanted ideas LOL… Now I have been officially engaged since December 2013, and my wedding is 9.5 months away

Post # 15
4651 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

MrsWoods47:  I bought my dress in April! I will hopefully be engaged within the next month, but we already decided on a date in May 2016 before I bought my dress. I also talked to him about my reasons for buying my dress and he said it was fine and told me I would wear it eventually lol And we’ve been together for 5 years and have spent months designing my ring so we know it is coming…whenever my ring get finished! 

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