Post # 1
We have multiple people helping us with our wedding. My Fiance and myself, my mom & stepdad, my dad & stepmom, and FIL’s.
Our photographer was double our budget. But because I knew that when I decided to sign the contract we decided that my Fiance and I would pay for the photography on our own.
My Future Mother-In-Law decided that she would help us by paying 1 our of the 4 payments that we are making towards our photographer. But she did it behind my FFIL’s back. He found out a week later and got so mad at her that he will not speak to any of us now.
We did NOT ask her to give us the money, she just felt like helping us out and giving it to us. We wrote a check and gave it to my Future Father-In-Law to pay the money she gave us back but he tore it up and didn’t cash it. But he still won’t speak to us. I am so confused!
Post # 3
I would be confused too. That is an aweful way for him to treat you especially since you didnt ask for it. Sorry, that totally sucks.
Post # 4
Definitely not your fault. You have no control over what she did. She should’ve talked to her husband about it first.
Post # 5
@countrylove: Here’s how I see it:
Your Future Mother-In-Law and FFIL’s money issues are between them. At this point, i wouldn’t say a word/try to give him money again. He is mad at HER, and I know it’s awkward now, but there’s nothing else you can do. You didn’t ask for it. So let them work it out, and just wait for it to blow over.
Anything else will just cause you anxiety and stress, and frankly, I wouldn’t bother.
Post # 7
Their problem, not yours…whatever financial infidelity she committed by paying that installment without telling her husband is in their area and not yours….I’m sure he’s not truly upset with you, but the situation. If your Future Father-In-Law is a Baby Boomer, the only thing she could have done that was worse than sneaking around with money was to kill his childhood pet and roast it on a spit to serve him for dinner…give them some time to get this sorted out, I assure you it has nothing to do with you.
Post # 8
This is not your fault AT ALL. It’s something between husband and wife that they should probably work out on their own.
However, if you feel like you absolutely MUST explain yourself to the husband, maybe you could text or email and just say something like: “I’m really sorry if the recent money situation has caused a problem between you and your wife, but I wanted to let you know that when she offered to help us, it was totally unexpected and we assumed you knew about it. We’re sorry if this caused any drama or hard feelings.”
Just be honest. If you didn’t initiate the situation, it’s really not your faults at all. You can’t be responsible for someone else’s reaction.
Post # 9
It’s not your fault, I would try to ignore the tension. This is between the in-laws.
Post # 10
I would be so confused. If anything, maybe your Fiance can ask his mom why she did it, but I’d probably try to ignore it, because money issues always cause more problems!
Post # 11
Thanks everyone! I will wait and see what happens and if it doesn’t blow over try and talk to him about it. It’s just more drama that we don’t need at this point in time. And to think we still have 11 months before this wedding. We will see if we can make it that long without pulling our hair out. 😉