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I would wait till after the deadline, I think. I might be slightly annoyed as a guest to get a reminder before the deadline had arrived.
Wait. And the day after, send the email. Three days won't kill you. Or will it :)
IMHO, I'd wait for the deadline to pass. It sounds as if you'll have to contact people anyway with a reminder, so you might as well wait until the official RSVP date has passed. Even if it's the day after.
Like stillme, I'd probably be annoyed if I got a reminder prior to the deadline.
I'd be annoyed if I got a "reminder e-mail". I think you gave them until a date to respond, you have to honor that. A lot of people look at the RSVP date as the date they drop it into the mail.
I kindof impartial to this. My fi's uncle sent us a little facebook message reminding us of the upcoming deadline and we found out that he never recieved our RSVP even though we sent it a month prior. I wasn't annoyed; I would have just ignored it if it didn't apply to me (because it was prolly a mass message)
My FSIL has been putting up facebook status updates...though I think that is a little bit more annoying because if I was a friend not invited to her wedding, I would be kind of annoyed.
wait until after the deadline - calling ahead will annoy your guests. You'll probably end up getting a bunch the few days after the deadline because people seem think the rsvp deadline is when to put it in the mail.. annoying but true lol
Good point - thanks, hive! I'm just getting antsy and want the RSVP's back! The handful that haven't responded on my side are classic procrastinators and super forgetful with stuff like this... I'll sit on my hands and wait ;)
If they haven't sent it now, it won't get to you before the deadline. Just wait two days. Then you can send the email, get the same answer at the same time you would have gotten it anyways, and nobody will be annoyed at you :-)
I would wait until after the deadline - as a guest, I would be a little annoyed to get a message like that.
I actually sent a reminder email to members of my family that I knew weren't going to respond. I ended up getting one response from that. No one else bothered.
Oh and I should add that I sent the reminders the day before the RSVPs were due and that was only because I was in all day meetings the following 2 days and I didn't want to forget.
I would say give them until at least the deadline. We didnt start calling or emailing anyone until about a week or two after our deadline. Thats because our deadline was 5 weeks before our wedding date so about 3 weeks beforehand we started asking. Honestly we didnt have a final count until about 3 days beforehand because some people at the last minute decided to bring a date or were not able to come. You still have 5 weeks as well so I would just give them more time!
I know what you mean - my deadline is Sept. 1, which is like....now. I'm dying to light a fire under the stragglers, but FI is keeping me in check. She says it is rude to call people before the deadline, and I think she is right.
our deadline was aug 15th and only today did i get a complete list! This is too much stress! I feel like i was begging for people to respond. i put the stamp on the response card, so why not just mark it and drop it in the mail!
We waited until three or four days after the deadline, and had a couple of stragglers arrive in that timeframe. After that, we called the remaining guests. Some people are procrastinators, and will send out the RSVP on the day it's due.
You have to wait until after the deadline. If you wanted them back yesterday, then you should've put the deadline yesterday. You know?
Please wait until the deadline. I'm attending a wedding where the RSVP deadline is in two weeks and I've been hounded at least 10 times in the past few weeks to get them back and I've gotten so annoyed that I'm tempted to just rsvp no! So please don't harass your guests if they haven't done anything wrong (they aren't late yet).
Ditto @cupcake28- if you told them you didn't need to hear from them until X date, then they aren't late until X date.
The only exception is if you think for some reason they never got the invite (a big problem for FI's family because some of them keep moving house without giving anyone their new address). Then I think it's okay to just call or e-mail and ask them if they actually received it.
I would wait. Our deadline is this Friday and I'm getting super frusrated because we have over half of our replies still out (and its all family so I don't know if they just assume we know they are coming or what but its driving me nuts). I did a double check with just two of my close friends to make sure they got the invite because they were in the process of moving (and they didn't get the invites, so I'm glad I checked).
Of course my fiance is of the mind set "we don't have to call, we will just have someone stand at the door with the guestlist and anyone who walks up that didn't rsvp can just go on home" haha, men!
It would be REALLY annoying as a guest to get a reminder email before the deadline, so I say just wait. It is rude of them to not send it back by your reply date, so after that date you can feel free to send any emails/texts/facespaces your little heart desires! Just be prepared for people to be hiding under rocks with no access to any technology..
If you're that close, I'd wait.
I did send an email to all family members and really close friends, 1 week before the deadline.
eta: I did, however, start calling/emailing/facebooking people the FIRST day after the deadline. Too many decisions rest on how many and WHO are attending.
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My RSVP deadline is in two days... I wasn't planning to start calling or emailing people until after the deadline - but I really think my procrastinators have forgotten.
So - I wanted to send out an email today -something to the effect of: just a friendly reminder to return your reply card...
What do you think? Is it overkill? Should I just wait until the deadline is past? We are still waiting on 1/3rd of our guest list to reply!