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I think that sounds like such a nice night! And it looks as if everyone is on board. There is no reason why you shouldn't have a night you want because your MOH doesn't want to plan. It would be different if you organized a night at the bars with male strippers and bought your own "bride to be" t-shirt... but you're not, you're asking for an intimate night with your friends! It sounds perfect!
To answer your question, yes. If my BMs or MOH wouldn't of planned my bachelorette party, I def would of planned one myself. We shouldn't have to suffer b/c someone else dropped the ball!
I think you feel weird about it, only b/c traditionally brides arn't the ones planning it. But, hey, its a party & with you planning you can get excatly what you want.
I can see why your a little bummed. Hopefully your MOH or other BMs coming in, will realize that they need to do a little something for you that wknd.
I don't think that you should plan your own bachelorette party. They are not a requirement prior to a wedding and you shouldn't expect you bridal party to plan one. It's just a nice thing when they do. And its one thing to give input and opinions on your party if your maids asked and a whole other thing to plan the entire thing yourself.
I agree with Lauren1018 that what you've planned sounds nice but I wouldn't make it a bachelorette party, just a girls weekend (ie, don't go buy yourself bride-to-be gear, boa, etc).
I planned my bachelorette. I wanted to go do bingo and then karoeke with my mom, sister, aunts, cousins, and bridesmaids. I am excited! Though I think my sister is buying me some bride to be stuff.
The reason you're not supposed to plan your own shower is because you'd be telling people to give you gifts. So unless you've told everyone on the invite list that you expect them to bring you presents, then the situation is completely different. I think it sounds really cool and this way you know you'll enjoy it.
I don't see anything wrong with planning your own bachelorette party. For mine I called around different limo places to get quotes and my MOH took care of making reservations at the restaurant. I also made fascinators for all my girls to wear. My BMs offered to help me but many cannot sew and I didn't mind sewing all of them.
I planned mine! I wanted to have a lot of say in what we did (or didn't) do. Only one of my bridesmaids was from in-town, and she planned a fabulous surprise bridal shower for me, so I didn't want to expect her to do anything else.
We just went out for tapas and drinks at a nice place. We chatted and laughed and I had a great time. It was really chill.
It's not poor taste. Sometimes it's necessity.
I'm not sure what official etiquette is on this, but sounds fine to me. It's not like a shower, where you're getting gifts and planning yourself might be taken the wrong way by some. I would just frame it as a girls' getaway vs. a bachelorette.
It's fine. Why should you have to go without a bachelorette cause your MOH dropped the ball? And call it whatever the hell you want. There's no etiquette when it comes to this. How can there be etiquette for any party that can sometimes involve copious amounts of penis. I mean, really. People take etiquette way too seriously sometimes. If your girls are down, go ahead and plan all your stuff and have a great time.
One of my friends and I are getting married within a month of each other and were combinding ours and planning them together.
I dont think there is anything wrong with planning one urself! You are still the bride and deserve to get one
I understand your position and I would definitely be bummed out if no one seemed to be thinking of planning a bachelorette party for me. But there's totally no reason that you shouldn't get to have one because of that. The whole point is to get to spend some fun times with your girlfriends and I don't see why you can't be the one to make that happen! It's not like a shower where people are supposed to be bringing you gifts. Have fun!
If my wedding party was not throwing me a bachelorette party, then yes, I would totally plan my own. And think about this, since you are planning it, you get to do exactly what YOU want!
None of my BMs planned anything for me (which actually surprised me since I was MOH for my bff/MOH less thana yr ago and planned an entire shower AND b-party for her. FI's aunt did my shower, so I really kinda thought throwing together a night out was within their ability. Apparently not...but I digress!!), so while we were all in town for my shower, I asked if they wanted to do something. We ended up just hanging out at my friend's house and I fell asleep before 10pm (had been traveling since 4am), so it wasn't they typical "ngiht on the town" but I did pull it together last minute on my own. I don't think it's weird at all. I can understand why you feel a touch disappointed but you should def enjoy yourself!!
I think there is only one issue with planning your own - I don't think it's right to ask the girls to cover you - it's just not cool to ask for money for yourself. (Nothing you've said means you're going to do this! But typically a bachelorette is paid for by the bridesmaids). So if you are planning it, I'd pay for your own half just as you would at any girls night out.
@valhalla....WE ARE DOING THE SAME BACHLORETTE!!!! (whistler and everything!! when are you going :) (Im June 18-20th)
But i was kind of in the same boat for awhile..the girls were dropping the ball, only bc they were trying to hard!
I think its fine if you want to do this...but if are like me and just getting worried that things are being dropped so try to take it into your own hands...you might want to just back off a bit or something...I felt like I was getting to involved in mine and eventuallyi just had to step back and say "whatever"
Yeah, I think it's fine. For mine, not all of the girls knew each other so I sent out an inital email asking who would be free to come. I made spa appointments and my MOH took care of the rest of the night, and coordinated with the other girls. Have a great time!
@Kittyachi: "How can there be etiquette for any party that can sometimes involve copious amounts of penis." OMG I LOVE THAT! Seriously, I am retaining that in my memory for future use!
Thanks for all the replies ladies - I feel better about planning my own party now!! I certainly didn't expect my MOH or wedding party to pay for my bachelorette (even if they did plan it), so I definitely expected to pay my own way anyway. I really just wanted a girls weekend - not even really what you would call a conventional "bachelorette" i.e no strippers, bridal party t-shirts, or penises will be in the vicinity of my party, as that is just not my scene :)
@ baileyh - LOL! I had mine planned for that weekend too, but had to change it because one of the girls couldn't make it who really wanted to come.
I'm feeling more excited now!
Haha serasvictoria, I almost reposted that line too...I think that ought to be in Miss Manners' Guide to Bachelorette Party Etiquette :)
You've probably long come up with a decision/plan, but just wanted to also say that it's totally fine. This was one of the main challenges for me too, with bridesmaids coming from all over BC, but nobody really being familiar with the area, a lot of the planning would have been left to me.
For me, it was just another stressor, so I decided to go to the town that two of them live in, and let them work with the things they're familiar with, and got the pressure lifted off my shoulders.
If you don't mind planning the party, I say go for it!
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Hi Hive,
So, my BMs live out of province, and my MOH has completely dropped the ball on all things wedding related. Rather than get into all the details (that is another post all on its own), I'll just say she is not planning on doing anything bachelorette wise.
So that being said, I still wanted to have a fun night out with my girlfriends, even if my MOH didn't want to plan anything. I invited my friends, and so far have about 8 ladies (including MOH and myself). We were just going to stay overnight in Whistler at a rented condo, have some drinks, talk, then head home the next day, at a cost of about 50-75$ per person.
But I have had a weird nagging feeling that I should not be planning my own bachelorette. Am I crazy here? I think it really stems from the fact I am sad that my MOH hasn't been a very good friend, let alone MOH, throughout the wedding planning process. Maybe it is not as weird to plan your own bachelorette as I thought?
Would you plan your own bachelorette if your wedding party didn't do it for you?