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I worked several jobs, went to school, and had my son. It is possible, but it is NOT easy and especially not easy without your support system there. I think that you can do it, but it would take an emense amount of coordination and compromise with you and your DH. I would not suggest taking a full load, def not. You really have to sit down and discuss every possibility of what could happen and where the compromises are going to come in.
So I don't have a baby but I know from friends that is doable. One of my good friends became pregnant very early (she was 19 and it was planned) and she went to school for chemical engineering and became pregnant with her second child at the end of her second to last semester and was 7 months pregnant when she graduated. It tough but she had the support of her hubby and most schools have a good day care program for women with kids (and some financial help).
On the other hand I know another girl that got pregnant while in grad school and she had a full time job. She ended going part time on her jon and manage to graduate with honors, she was selected outstanding graduate student for graduation.
So its possible, just make sure you are prepared for the challenges.
@Tswife4ever: I started nursing school when my little one was 6 months old. It is not easy, but doable. My husband was very supportive ( stay up at night with baby, do his fair share of cleaning and cooking, etc ) You would have to have a plan for missing school for labor and delivery and the first 6 weeks postpartum, the baby is too small to go to a childcare center at that time.
Are you an undergrad student or at the grad/PhD level? Why rush into family planning (unless you are in your late 20s or early 30s)? Either way, it will be a difficult road and will require a lot of time management/compromise. Best of luck!
There was a couple I was in law school with that had a baby. She was lucky and the baby was born over a break, though right after finals, I don't know how she studied or didn't go into labor early from the stress haha. It seemed like they coordinated so that while one was in class the other was with the baby. I'm sure its hard, but they both do well and are graduating on time.
I see myself in a situation where I will be in grad school and pregnant, but, alas, life happens. Its doable but hard!
@bigcitybee: I am currently getting my Associates but my goal is my Masters. I am 23 but DH is 27 and wants a baby before he is 30.
I am finishing up nursing school, and while I don't have a baby I can tell you that literally about half of our class does. And they have all done just fine! It definitely helps to have some support, and sounds like you've got a good hubby to help you out! It's obviously not ideal, but it's 100% doable, and really it doesn't seem to have bothered any of my classmates too much at all.
@Tswife4ever: Hm. Well, how do you feel about this? Do you feel ready for children--a lifelong responsibility--at such a young age? Just because your SO is ready does not mean that you are, and it certainly doesn't mean that you go along with it if it doesn't mesh well with your own plans/goals at this time. Of course, if you do feel ready, then disregard what I just wrote lol.
It would certainly be do-able, but it would be very stressful. It would require a lot of planning, sacrifice, time management...totally up to you if you are ready for this or not! :-)
I'm sure it is possible, but it can't be easy. I don't have any kids yet, but I've earned 2 degrees and that was hard enough. I can't imagine having done it all with a child. I barely slept as it was!
It is possible. I know a girl in med school who just had a baby and she is managing fine. She lives two hours away with her husband. Don't let the proxomity of family deter you, I live 40 hours away from everyone I know and I'll be TTC in Jan.
@Juliepants: Exactly. The thought is terrifying! I'll be done with school before SO (he's doing a Ph.D.) and we don't want children until he has a serious job and we can financially support one / don't have to care for a baby and write a dissertation!
I will have to tell you in a couple of months! I am due in April and I have a year of school (masters) left. I will not be working full time, but I will have a part-time internship as well! We will see! The fun part is that I am due April 12th. Yup, right smack in the middle of this semester!! :)
I would say it's definitely possible. I know a ton of people who have entered pharmacy school while having kids and had kids while in school. I would second PPs and say it's a tough boat, and I personally would never be able to do it. However, if you have an awesome support system, that makes it much more feasible. Best of luck to the both of you!!!
ANYthing is possible, but why would you deliberately make your life harder than it needs to be if you have a choice? I went back to school FT when my youngest started first grade and the older one was 12.
We had several Moms in our class, but our lives didn't compare to the younger ones who were still living home or newly married and in their 20's. The engaged ones didn't stay that way, several marriages broke up, and most of us were just plain exhausted. Our days began at 6am,we didn't get home until after 6pm, and still had all the rest to do with our families, plus study. Things have to give, and in my case it was my house. Holidays still come and go and weekends aren't catch uo time anymore when you have research to do and papers to write and study groups to attend. Tuned in husbands willl take up the slack as mine did, but it just isn't the same. To be honest, it was incredibly difficult, but I did it.
Possible but difficult...my parents had my sister and I (both surprises) in college. To be honest, we're kind of wrestling with this right now, as DH is probably going to be going back to school (online, but still a time committment) this summer.
I've heard of a few people in my master's program who have had babies while in school. One already had three kids and was pregnant/gave birth to her fourth in the middle of her second year, another had a baby during winter break of the first year and her second baby is due the same week as graduation! I think it can work, but there will be some definite sacrifices.
My mom was in her 2nd year of undergrad at a good school when she had me! she had a full ride scholarship and she didn't want to waste it she made it work!
Of course you can! It might be a trying time, but with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
I had DD when I was still in high school (obviously not planned). I graduated and got through school, and am a nurse now. It waws really difficult, but doable. In some ways it was great because my daughter when to day care at my school, so she was with me all the time. It would stink to get her to bed and just want to relaxe and still have to study and do homework.
I don't have a baby, but one of my good friends in my Master's program got pregnant. She finished on time. Her family isn't here, but there is a good support system between her husband and other friends in the program.
Before you get pregnant, I would check all your school's resources. While it can be true, as someone said above, that some universities have good daycare, that resource is not always available to students (undergrad or grad). And it tends to be very expensive...and not subsidized in any way. Also, there may be ridiculous wait lists. Lots of professors talk about how people sign their child up for a waitlist before the child is born as there is a 2-year waitlist with the university daycare.
If you don't have insurance, or if you get it through your university, I would also check that, too. My friend, above, had to purchase private insurance for her child, which is VERY expensive, because the school insurance only covered a few months.
Not to be harsh, but some majors and departments are not very child-friendly or child-welcoming for a number of reasons -- whether it's male-dominated, old-fashioned, or if the field presents safety hazards (chemistry, for example).
I know I will be pregnant at some point, probably during my PhD, so I will just have to make it work, but I think it CAN be a little easier when you're older as you may have more people that understand, a better support system, and more financial support and resources...
Doable but it’s going to make your life way harder than it would be without a baby, keep in mind the further you go in school, the harder it’s going to get. Are you going to have to work full time too? I know when I was in school for my ADN I had baby fever horribly (I honestly would break down and cry all the time because I wanted to start a family so bad), and DH said no, no, no, not until your done! Well, I’m now working on my BSN part time online and am honestly thankful he said not yet. Although I don’t think having a baby while in school is a bad thing, I would definitely recommend waiting until you are at least further into your schooling. - five years is a long time! In one or two years, you’ll have a better sense of where you guys are at, and just how much additional stress you’re willing to take on.
I did it for a year, but none of my classes were that challenging and they didn't take away time with my son because I attended at night. My son stayed with my parents or DH during that time though, if I didnt have them to watch him I probably would have had to find a daycare and to me, that wouldn't have been worth it. I'll most likely go back to school when our second child is one. Sometimes it was nice to have that little break during my class time to get out on my own.
We were looking at the same thign and I talked to some of the profs and they told me to wait due to the risk of injury in my program to an unborn child. Im planning on taking animal sciences which involves lots of handling of sheep and cows and other animals who can kick on in the belly quite easily. Our plan is I go back to school and get a job that isnt as hands on for a year or so and then have a baby and start our own farm. We cant wait to have a child but we want to be comfortable so our child can have all they want and need.
Of course it is! Everything is possible, one just has to make some adjustments. My mother had my oldest sister when she was single and in college and did pretty well, I'm sure it wasn't easy! My dh and I are expecting a baby this summer and he starts grad school in the fall. I know it'll be hard, but I'm going to be a sahm and that will eliminate daycare or having to find a babysitter at least.
I finished high school and a BA with a baby/young child, and now I'm halfway through my Phd (she's 8 years old). I had family around for my first degree but I now live in a different province and my SO lives in the US while he does his PhD. If we weren't planning to move down to join him soon, we'd probably be considering having another baby soon. In my case, it would make much better sense to have a baby prior to going on the market, as no one is very interested in hiring a pregnant woman or someone who plans to become pregnant shortly.
It's doable, but it will be more difficult if you don't have much of a support system around you. It's *really* hard to get anything done, although I actually found it relatively easy to get schoolwork done when she was a baby compared to now.
@Tswife4ever: Sounds like we're in similar positions! DH and I got married when I was 20 and he was 25. I wanted to wait 5+ years to TTC since I was so young. He was just finishing his masters and I was still working toward my AA, like you. He REALLY wanted kids right away, and I said no way lol. He said the same thing, he wanted our first child by the time he turned 30, which is three years away.
Well, I got my AA and we're pregnant with our first. This fall I'll be continuing on to get my BS, so I will have a 6 mo old baby, working PT and finishing my degree. I know it's going to be CRAZY and I will have to work my butt off even harder! But I know that it will be worth it.
Obviously it's possible, but definitely not ideal. I did want to finish my BS before having a baby, but it just didn't work out that way, so I will be a 22-year-old mom going to school and it will be a huge challenge.
I don't know if I would recommend it if you don't have family. We would never be able to afford juggling a child+education. My mom will be taking him once a week and I'll work out a system with my sister, then take some online as well, or night classes so my husband can watch him. It will be difficult, I won't have much of a weekend with DH/DS, instead it will be homework I'm sure. But it is for less than two years.
But it's a very personal decision. Take all the information you have gleaned and figure out what you REALLY want. I am scared about it, really scared! But I know it's worth it. Though I must admit, in many ways I wish we would have waited a little longer, until I finished my BS. Even though my husband didn't pressure me into getting pregnant, it was hard when I knew he wanted it so badly.
It depends. A friend in my PhD program got pregnant (planned) during the end of her 4th year. She defended her dissertation just a few months after baby was born, finished on time, and managed to get a job as a professor during pregnancy (hiring happens long before the new school year starts). So, yes, it can be done, even in a difficult program.
BUT, she was tired all the time, and had to work twice as hard. Her husband is a minister so his hours were more flexible and he was able to help A LOT (plus he made a full income rather than also being a student), which I think is a huge part of whether or not having a kid will slow your education down or not. She was past the part of the program with classes, she was purely in the research stage, so her schedule was more flexible as well. Also, she had access to daycare because of being a student here, which was huge, and because of the super close-knit personalized nature of PhD programs (we all know each other, dept is small, we're super tight with the faculty), people made allowances and worked with her to make everything work out. You should check with your program to see what kind of accomodations are made for parents (i.e., daycare, flexible class scheduling, etc) and just the general attitude of the faculty towards student-parents.
@bearlove: Oh, great point! I DEFINITELY would not have agreed to TTC if DH hadn't already finished his masters and gotten a great job. It was on my non-negotiables list.
which is another good idea, maybe make a list of ABSOLUTE MUSTS before TTC - mine were DH getting a job in his degree, getting medical benefits and me finishing my AA.
Then a list of WANTS - I didn't get as much done off that list, but it's okay because I can do them with a baby.
It is possible, but it isn't easy. I did it when my sons were young.
A girl in my masters/specialist program had a baby during our first semester. She is going to be graduating on time with the rest of our cohort but it hasn't beeen easy. She has tons of support here in town including both her parents and her FI's parents and she has still struggled some. I suppose it will also depend on what program you are going to do. The program I am in requires an off site practicum and an entire year of an off site internship while taking classes at the same time! I cannot imagine finishing 74 credit hours and 1000 hours of internship while having a child- but that doesn't mean that it's not possible! If you and your husband decide that having a child is important to you then maybe you could do school part time? It will take you longer to finish but would be much less stressful! :)
I found out that I was pregnant the same day I got my acceptance letter for college and I just graduated in January. I was able to do it as a single parent with support of family and friends. Be prepared for some long nights but you can do it. My daughter got read a lot of text books as bedtime stories her first year. With family farther away that may be a challange but if you can build a nearby support network it will help out a lot.
It is certainly possible, but it is very difficult. I had a baby and worked full time and went to school but I had a lot of help. So not having much family to help will make it that much harder. But, if it's something you really want you can make it work.
It very possible. It's much more possible if you find an accredited online program from a brick and mortar insitution that allows you to do your homework on your own time.
I'm prego and my hubby and I are both working on advanced degrees. He's in a Veterinary Medicine program and I'm in Engineering. We planned our pregnancy after evaluating our schedules/financial situation/10 yr plan. I definitely think it's manageable...but maybe I'll update in a year ;)
It's possible, but it's not easy. You need a good support network. I had my daughter the summer before my last year of college. I actually took that year off because her father was working full-time and completing a full-time internship for his degree, so I was the only one who could be home with her. I eventually left him (he was a deadbeat after graduation) and moved in with my mom, who helped me out with the baby while I worked and took night classes at a nearby community college and transferred those courses to my 4-year school. I waitressed almost every day of the week and had three night classes each week. It was really hard, but doable. The key element was having that support. I found a daycare that wasn't too expensive and paid for most of it with leftover financial aid funds, because my waitressing job barely covered our normal living expenses. I think it would have been easier if I had had a dependable spouse to help me out.
So, yes, it's definitely possible to do. Just make sure you have a steady support network. And, in my experience, professors tend to not be sympathetic towards personal issues. In my first trimester, I was so tired I would constantly end up sleeping right through my alarm and my first class of the day. I ended up failing the first exam. I had never in my life failed an exam, and I went right to my prof's office to explain myself. He was sympathetic -- he had three kids under the age of 6 -- but he also told me he expected me, basically, to suck it up and do better in the future. And when I was at the community college, my daughter got severely ill several times in one semester, and I kept having to miss a certain class because it tended to be at the same time as the only available appointment times at her pediatrician's office. Even though I had excuses and documented evidence for each illness and appointment, and my schoolwork was more than acceptable, my prof failed me for poor attendance. I'm not saying all professors are hardasses about pregnancy and family stuff, but some might be, so watch out for that. It doesn't make things any easier for you.
It is, but it will be as hard as hell.
Make sure you have a good and reliable friend and family network around you if you do plan to do this, because you will need them.
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Out of curiousity, is it possible to have a baby and go to school? I have about 5 years of school left but DH wants to have a baby within the next 1-2 years. Has anyone gone to college while being a parent? Another concern we have it that we are moving about 3 hours away from family in a few months so we will have nobody around us.