Anybody else get asked this incredibly rude and very annoying question? I work in customer service at a retail store, so my hands are constantly visible to customers. I get a lot of "Oh your ring is beautiful...is it real?"
I know my ring is a little on the larger side, but it's nothing crazy. The center stone is 1.44 carats, and I live in California where a lot of people have larger stones. I love my ring and I wouldn't change anything about it ever, but this question is hard to brush off :(
Anyone in the same boat? How do you respond to this rude question?
"Well it is sitting on my finger right? I promise it's not an optical illusion."
Ask them how much their salary is. It's none of their business about your ring(s), and it's none of your business about their salary.
That is such a weird question to ask anyone, especially a total stranger! I know people don't think before asking, but still... Mine is 1.5c and I think it *looks* smaller since it doesn't have a halo, and no one has ever asked me that. If someone asked who was like a friend I might be a bit snarky and be like, "no, it's a figment of your imagination..." but if you're at work and have to be nice to everyone (eyeroll, I also work in retail...) I would just smile and say "thank you, yes it is," (whether or not it is a real *diamond,*) and move on.
Say, "Why do you ask?"
Best. Response. Ever.
Puts the spotlight back on them and makes them realize how rude and intrusive they're being.
Or you could always glance at a piece of jewelry they're wearing and say, "Is YOURS real?"
Ugh, people infuriate me!
@red_rose: ugh retail! Usually my response is something along the lines of "Yes, it's real" in a sort of astonished tone. Usually after I answer them, they say something along the lines of "Their are so many large rings out there and sometimes it's hard to tell what's real!" or "Oh, I just ask because it's so sparkly!"
I don't and shouldn't have to defend my ring.
I think they mean to ask if it is a real diamond since some people are wearing white stones as enagement rings that are not diamonds, and they are more likely to be large stones as well.
@Cory_loves_this_girl: Wow, what a beautiful ring! I think I would just smile and say "of course". It is, indeed real, duh ;)
@joya_aspera: yeah, we know that's what they're asking, but it's still... RUDE!
@red_rose: Is no-one allowed to know what stone it is?
To me, asking specs when you don't know each other well is rude. Asking what the stone is, is not. It may not have been phrased the best but the meaning was clear.
@joya_aspera: I am sure that many will disagree, but I think it's similar to asking if someone's boobs are real. Like, would you EVER walk up to someone ask them that?
@joya_aspera: are your teeth real? Are you boobs real? Did you have a c-section or vaginal delivery?
Somethings You just don't ask. This is one of those things according to the OP.
@red_rose: If I lived in Hollywood or Rio (somewhere where I know a lot of people have fake boobs) maybe I would, but I generally don't talk about people's boobs at all to them unless I know them well. Jewellery is not like boobs that way. It is not even a part of one's body. I do talk to strangers about their clothing and adornment. They usually enjoy talking about it.
Wow some people just have no common sense. Your ring is not obnoxious or anything, SHE was obnoxious. Also you have really pretty hands!
@joya_aspera: It's a real diamond, but it really shouldn't matter! Even if it was another type of stone, it's not their place to ask. The implication of the question is that they are assuming it's not real or that it looks fake.
@joya_aspera: there is also a difference between asking "is it a diamond?" And "is it real?". Other white stones are still real, and it is rude to phrase it that way.
@Cory_loves_this_girl: I don't think that's why they ask. I think it's because they're nosey and want to know if you have a super expensive ring on your hand.
@Cory_loves_this_girl: I understand it may have seemed that way, but to me, I think some people just don't have a good eye for the differences and if they have a friend who has something else white there, they may no longer want to assume anyone's is a diamond, so they ask. The phrasing was poor but I don't think it was intended as an insult. If it was, then the person sucks... sucks for trying to insult you, and sucks for coming up with such a weird insult.
@MsCarabiner: Thank you! Maybe I should consider adding the "Of course" part.
@Pinkmoon: Thanks! If only I could rid of these knobby knuckles haha.
@bunnyharriet: exactly! I don't think it's polite at all. I had an acquaintance ask me "oh how many carats is it?!" Which I find to be trashy. I haven't even asked my best friend how many carats hers is. To be honest, I don't find it offensive when other Bees ask, but it's the tone in which she asked. Like she was going to go home and look up how much a whatever-carat oval diamond costs.
To ME frankly this is just another symptom of a patriarchal society.
The fact that anyone would ever ask if their boobs are real is just disgusting and again to me, shows exactly how womens bodies are seen as community property in a way. Same with some guy cat calling a woman and telling her to smile or what not. It's all releative. Same with the ring question. Answering the question with anything but Yes give the person asking the question the ability to then make a snap judgement on someone else based on the weight they put behind the question.
A woman is seen as "less than" if her stone is not "real". Frankly I don't think that is something anyone can deny. Sure we may not "care" if someone elses ring is real or fake, but everyone will make a snap judgement. Human nature. Which goes to another point, why would someone ask that question? I HIGHLYdoubt it's to continue in a nice conversation. It's a question thats meant to place a value on someone's material status.
It's rude period and thats all it ever will be.
@joya_aspera: I think we all know that not all white stones are diamond. The question didn't ask what the stone was, the question asked if "it" was "real".
Only a complete asshat would ask such a rude question, especially of a total stranger.
@CountryRose: Yes, couldn't agree more!
@bunnyharriet: That could be true.
@joya_aspera: It wasn't one person saying this, and it hasn't been anyone that I know personally and would want to insult me. I think it's just nosey ignorance. If someone asked "What kind of stone is it?" I wouldn't be upset.
@Cory_loves_this_girl: I agree that it could have been phrased better. Some people just don't phrase things the best though. I'd be insulted if they had made other insinuations about me as well, but I wouldn't assume they were insinuating anything negative if it was an isolated instance. It's all in the context, I guess.
@joya_aspera: I think if they're going to ask of it's real, they might as well just be asking if it fake. I think it's the same regardless of context.
@kellmerr: Thank you so much :)
@Cory_loves_this_girl: ha. that makes me think of another clever response (also probably not good for the retail situation...) "is it real?" "oh, do you mean is it fake?"
"Nah, I got it out of a vending machine" /sarcasm
@red_rose: I wish I could get away with a wonderfully snarky comment like that! I'll just say it in my head instead haha.
@Cory_loves_this_girl: I think if they're going to ask of it's real, they might as well just be asking if it fake. I think it's the same regardless of context.
People are rude. Period.
By the way, your ring is beautiful.
The fake boobs comparison redrose brought up just made me realize how you can turn this around and have fun with it.
Think of it: When else is someone going to set you up with a line that you can respond back to, à la that Jerry Seinfield episode, "It's real, and it's spectacular!" LOL!
@MrsBlueSeptember: Thank you so much!
@joya_aspera: hahaha love it!
@Cory_loves_this_girl: It is rude because they're implying that since you're in retail, you couldn't afford a real one. Yeesh, some people have a lot of nerve!! Gah.
@canarydiamond: yeah, and it's a discount retail store, which probably doesn't help.
I've also noticed that the only people who have asked me this question are women who appear to be in their 40s or 50s. Maybe they're just not used to larger center stone or halo settings or something?
@canarydiamond: I dont think it's necessarily implying anything of the sort. I've thought many times "wow! Is that real!? (cause it'd be super expensive if it was)" and its not because I dont think the person could afford it. These are made up women in rich towns showing up at the mall mid day in their X5 and Chanel bags, so surely I'm not assuming they can't afford it. It's just a natural thought to have when you see something you find impressive imo.
Not only is it rude to ask this question, but if you don't know the person who is asking it, you should be very, very cautious about how you answer because you don't want to become a target for mugging. It's most likely that they're only asking out of curiosity and rudeness, but they might also be asking because they want to know if it's worth stealing. I don't have a diamond ring (or anything that looks like a diamond for my center stone), but if I did and it was a big stone, I would probably lie to strangers if they asked me about it and claim that it was fake just to keep myself safe and discourage them from wanting to steal my ring.
Sometimes people are douches.
Just smile and say "Duh" at them.
@MoonlightRose: Yikes, I didn't really think about that! So far nobody has seemed shady, but I guess you never know...
There are MANY reasons that make lab created stones/ diamond alternatives MUCH more valuable in my eyes. Just because I won't have a mined diamond on my hand won't make it "fake".
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