Post # 1
As some of you know, Loverboy asked me if I would marry him yesterday. There is no ring involved (yet) but it is a sincere proposal. When I told my mother she was excited but then said “you know, the proper thing for him to do would be to ask your father for permission when he does have a ring for you.”
This kind of annoyed me – why should my dad have to give him permission? Am I not my own person? What is the point in this? Also – I have a stepdad and a dad – does that mean Loverboy is supposed to ask him both?
I just think this is kind of a silly tradition and not sure what to think about this or do regarding it. Should I mention it to Loverboy? How many of your fiances or husbands asked your dad first? Did it really even matter?
Post # 3
My husband did speak to my father before proposing, but it was more like he was stating his intentions to my dad and asking for his blessing- not asking PERMISSION!
I think it might be a nice gesture towards your parents for your FI to ask their blessing.
Post # 4
It’s entirely up to the couple.
Post # 5
My FI asked my dad first. It’s one of those traditions that I would like to stick to. My dad only has daughters (me and my sister) and this was very important to him.
My FI was REALLY nervous which surprised me because my dad is such an easygoing guy ;o)
Post # 6
my FI spoke to my father first, it was actually important to him to do so. it’s not so much for permission anymore, more just a nice gesture and to get their blessing!
Post # 7
I think that it’s different for everyone. Ultimately, I think he needs to know you and what you would like. Do YOU want him to ask for your hand, or a blessing? If you don’t, then it wasn’t needed to begin with.
Post # 8
Post # 9
FI asked my mom for permission, he’s just old school in that regards. If it really offends you that much I’d just ignore it, but if you think it’ll keep the peace, maybe have him ask?
Post # 10
it’s just too old fashioned for my tastes..
Post # 11
My FI wanted to ask. Plus he was so excited about the ring I think he wanted to share it with them because it was burning a hole in his pocket. I”m kind of jealous because they apparently celebrate with a toast and all and I wasn’t there! But that’s okay I think it was important to my FI to know they were just excited as we are.
Post # 12
My fiance asked permission in way, though we all knew he was basically just showing respect for my Dad. I think my Dad was impressed and touched.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!
My fiance asked my father’s permission first because he knew it was important to both me and my father. I think it’s just a matter of how traditional you or your family is though. I think most daddies get impressed/excited when the guy does it nowadays, but wouldn’t shoot ’em down if they didn’t.
Post # 14
My parents completely expects to be asked for their *blessing* but certainly not their *permission*. Permission would be a bit futile, anyway, since they know I’d do it even if they said no. They love boyfriend, but still. That being said, it’s hard for him to ask my Dad’s permission since my parents are 6 hours away… We won’t get engaged til January at the earliest, but we’ll see my parents in October (they are coming up here and then he’s going down there with me), I’ll go home for Christmas (not Thanksgiving) but there are no plans for boyfriend and I to go down together between October and January! So he either asks them in October one of the two weekends we see them, sends them a letter or calls them, the latter 2 options he’s not a fan of. So annoying.
Post # 15
My fiance asked both of my parents, although my Mom was already ‘in’ on it because nothing gets by her and FH had the diamond shipped to her house since we live in NYC and can’t get packages. My Dad was totally shocked because we had only been dating 1.5 years and my sister had just gotten engaged (I don’t think Dads understand how getting engaged works). And after he finally got over his initial shock he said “Well, Mr. Moderndaisy, I guess there’s nothing we can say except for absolutely Yes!”
I wouldn’t have it any other way, I’m so glad he went through all the trouble of asking my parents! 🙂
Post # 16
For those of you who are against asking the parents, let me ask you this…is your father walking you down the aisle? Are you wearing white?
I mean, being “given away” as an innocent virgin by your father to your husband seems like an even bigger insult than asking for the parents’ blessing.
I am ok with all of the traditions. I find them sentimental and cute.