- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I have received several wedding invitations over the course of my life and most of them have had the gift registry information in them. Now that I'm planning my own wedding, I was very surprised to see so many websites say that it is taboo to include this information.
Are you including the gift registry information in your invitations? Or do you think it's tacky to ask for gifts?
I know how I feel about it, but I don't want to offend anyone.
We didn't include anything about gifts in the invitations. I think that having them in the invitations makes it seem like you want a gift from someone if they are attending. Most people know to ask your family where you are registered in order to get you gifts.
I think the best thing to do is to add your registry info to your website. That way, it's easily accessible when people look for it, but you don't look like you're soliciting gifts. Registry info on the actual invite is definitely taboo.
Have it somewhere else or tell people by word of mouth. Having it on the invites is gift grabby!
Every wedding I have ever attended has had the info in the invite, it is expected and it makes it easier for the guests. None of your guests will think it is tacky, everyone expects to give a gift, this makes it convenient for them.
I've attended at least a dozen weddings, with seven of them occurring this past summer. Not a single one had the registry information included with the invitation, and I would have been somewhat horrified if it had. Put it on your wedding website, or communicate where you've registered to your parents and wedding party, and let them spread the word.
I'm guessing that in other areas (i.e. Australia, based on simpleandchic's take on it), it's more common. But for me, having the registry information with the invite is basically saying "Come celebrate AND BUY STUFF FOR ME!"
@redherring, you're right, it does depend on where you live. I've only been to two weddings in either Australia or the UK (and I've been to plenty of weddings in both) that didn't had the gift registry info in there somewhere -- usually with a note saying that while gifts aren't necessary, it people do want to give gifts, the couple are registered at x....
I do have a question though -- I've seen lots of places that say people are expected to ask the couple's family to find out where they're registered -- but at least half our guest list wouldn't have the faintest idea how to contact either of our parents. What's happens in those cases, especially if they don't know a member of the wedding party?
I think it's generally considered poor form to include registry information in your invites, but not in your shower invitations. I've received one wedding invite with registry information, and although I definitely had my snooty moment ("THAT'S SO IMPROPER!") I still went ahead and bought their gift from the registry they listed! So I think ultimately it doesn't really matter that much... it looks sort of gift-grabby, but you have to assess your guest list to figure out if they are the type of people who would care or not.
You should include information about your wedding website in the invitation and have the gift registries on the website...Problem solved!
@wonderlanded - If I were attending a wedding and I didn't know the couple's parents or anyone in the wedding party, and the couple didn't have a wedding website with registry information, and an online search for registry information at Wedding Channel, Macy's, BBB, Crate & Barrel, Bloomingdale's, Pottery Barn, Target, and [insert name of popular-to-your-area store where couples register] all failed, then I'd admit defeat and either just give cash or ask the couple where they registered. However, I'm pretty resourceful when it comes to finding this stuff out :)
What seems to be common in Adelaide is that most people either register at Myers (department store) or they register for a holiday. They are then given cards to hand out with ref. no on them. which are put in the invitation envelope, they are not on the invite but on a sep card. Everyone does it and it is so simple and convenient. I have never known anyone to have a wedding website b4 I went on this forum.
i have seen it on shower invites, but my wedding planner said to just have it on your website and not on the invites
While some people don't care and will do whatever they want, including gift registry info in the invites is rude and many people are offended by it.
Crisis averted.... :)
Thanks ladies. I'm glad I checked because I probably would have thrown it in the invite since that is how I have gotten most wedding invitations in the past.
We were actually on the fence about registering at all, but decided to go ahead with it.
i also didn't know it was taboo to put registry information on the invite itself. i plan to put it on our website when we get to that point.
i'm trying to recall any recent wedding invitations...i recall that most had an insert inside the main invitation envelope that included registry listings. but i guess that sort of the same as putting it on the invite itself?
We were given cards from the department store where we registered but I refused to put them in the invitation. Most weddings we go to, the people don't register (it's not as common in Australia I don't think) or they have a honeymoon registry or wishing well. We have a wedding website, which was in the invite, and I gave a few of the cards to our parents in case anyone asked them. Because our wedding requires everyone to travel and most people will be staying overnight and it's not a cheap place to stay, I didn't want the invitation to make anyone feel as though they were obligated to bring a gift on top of those other costs.
We registered for gifts, but I also ready that it was tacky to include the info, and we didn't set up a wedding website, so we just waited until people asked us where we were registered.
I've never seen an invitation with registry information in it, although I think most bridal shower invites include a registry card. But in my region, most people give gifts of money at the actual wedding, anyway, and purchase gifts for the shower.
I don't necessarily think it's rude to include the info in your invitations. That said, it is customary NOT to do so. But if you live in a region where people ignore this custom, then it's probably not that big a deal!!
Im sorry I just dont get this at all. I have heard its rude to include the registry info in your invite, so I probably wont. Its expected that if someone attends your wedding they will buy you a gift. If a guest came to your wedding and did not bring a gift everyone would be talking about how rude it was. When couples do not include the info in the invitation, guests always have to go out of their way to find the info. Everyone wants to know where the couple is registered, so why is it sooooo horrible to include the info in the invite? I feel like this is an old tradition that doesnt make sense and just needs to go away.
I totally agree dancer22. Everyone brings gifts to a wedding it would be rude not to. Make it easier for them to access it by putting the card in the envelope.
Obviously if you are expecting people to travel for a destination wedding that is a completely different story. Also I dont know anyone who still has showers. I agree if u are getting gifts at the showers it is rude to expect them at the wedding. But no one I know has showers.
If I haven't heard where a couple is registered by word of mouth, I simply search all the usual registries. If they're not there, I usually find out that they have elected not to register.
@simpleandchic really you dont know anyone who has a shower?? wow everyone I know that is getting married or already is married had a shower. Thats really interesting.
@simpleandchic: It must be a regional difference! In my area of Canada I have never heard of a bride getting married *without* a shower - sometimes they even have multiple ones. One in their hometown, one at work, one with friends in their new city... One thing that's cool about Wedding Bee is it lets us see that "the norm" for a wedding can be totally different from region to region.
It used to be common here too. Not so much now. It may just be my friend network i not sure.
@teaparty yes! In southern Ontario everyone has multiple showers! I think my mother had 7!! While 7 is certainly not the norm anymore, most people I know have had around 4 when you get both sides of the family plus coworkers or church parish showers thrown in there. And I too love hearing about all the different 'norms' because it constantly makes me reevaluate what I 'know.'
we plan to include a page on our website with this information and use word of mouth
It's on our website and we'll use word of mouth. For the shower invites only, I think it's more acceptable to include a card w/ the registry info. I guess that will be at the discretion of the women throwing my shower.
So is it only ok to be gift-grabby for the bridal shower but not wedding? Im sure family and friends wont think its rude
as a guest i dont care if the registry card is in the invite and to be honest, in the past most of the invites we're received have included them and i was happy with it. i would not attend a wedding without providing a gift so im grateful to be buying the couple something they would actually like (ie, they have registered). of course, i didnt register and i requested no gifts for our post wedding party and i still got a lot of icky stuff that i gave away to goodwill
this year im embracing tacky, the more it happens the less people will wring their hands in despair :)
I don't think it's that bad of taste either. I mean everyone knows that you have to bring a gift/money to the wedding...you might as well know exactly what they want.
Question - is it only taboo to put the info directly on the invite, or is it okay if you put a little insert in with the invitation suite saying where you're registered? I had two friends do this and I didn't think it was rude.
I don't think it's bad taste. I know generally word of mouth or putting it on the website is the more acceptable way to do things but sometimes it's just not practical. I've never had an invitation which hasn't mentioned (on a separate insert) where to buy a gift.
i think this whole "let's keep your registry a secret unless someone asks for it" is so stupid. people know that you're going to be asking for gifts, i mean, it is a wedding. if they don't want to go to the websites where you registered to buy you a gift, then they don't have to. including that info in an invitation only makes it easier for them to do this, since they don't have to call you up asking where you're registered. it's not like you're shoving it down their throats calling them up every week telling them what you want.
can someone enlighten me on why this is such a big no-no? i mean, maybe i really just don't understand how this is considered rude?
I voted no (cause its on our website and we ran out of room) but if your have room on your invites go for it. The word tacky is so over used and is soooo subjective. Do what makes sense for you. 
Like most things, I think this totally depends on the region you are from or live in.
I also think that it really depends on what makes you feel most comfortable. If you feel like it's tacky-don't include the information, but make sure that you don't put down someone who includes it.
They may just be from a different region where that is the norm.
I'm doing it via wedding website. That's gonna be on the invites/somewhere in the packet, that's for sure!
I'm adding it to the website, and putting the website in the Save the Dates. I have received invitations from other friends that included the registries in the invitation, and it didn't bother me. Makes it easier to know where to shop.
word of mouth. if someone asks you directly, tell them. we didn't include the info anywhere..
I have received invites with inserts like that and I always throw them in the trash.. That's me though.
We didn't put registery info on our invites, simply because I had read in so many places that it was poor form. It really wasn't a big deal because 90% of our guests called and asked us. I was really suprised how many checked in directly with us. I initally just told all of my bridesmaids and immediate family, and the word just kind of spread. We also included the info on our site. I don't even think my shower invite had the info on it. People just figured out on their own or called us.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 46 |
| Brielle | 28 |
| funkymunky85 | 26 |
| beargoose | 24 |
| AshleyR83 | 24 |
| rebwana | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| his chippymunk | 23 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| kat2014 | 22 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Brielle | 4 |
| jpmorgan | 3 |
| violet25 | 3 |
| jules28 | 3 |
| simpleandchic | 2 |
| AshleyR83 | 2 |
| abbie017 | 2 |
| TwoNerds | 2 |
 Myrnac13 |
2 |
| rebwana | 2 |
