Is it really wrong to keep finances separate after marriage??

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: Combine incomes or keep separate accounts?
    combined : (101 votes)
    48 %
    separate : (108 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think you should do what works for you.  Ours are combined, obviously, since I’m a stay at home parent, but they were even before then.  I don’t think there’s a right or wrong, you just do what works for your relationship.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6279 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    you have to do what works for you. 

    some people combine everything,

    some people have separate accounts and one joint account

    some people keep everything separate

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    1896 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I didn’t vote since its not black and white. I think it is whatever you both can agree on where neither feels taken advantage of. Since most married couples fight most about money, it’s more important to pick a solution that works for you than what works for opinionated bee #1 or #4 

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Is it wrong? No. 

    Do what works for you and your FH. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    7098 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We combined ours and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Post # 9
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @jesssamesssa:  We have a similar arrangement.  We have a joint account which we are currently using for the wedding and honeymoon but it will become our big savings account after the wedding.  But we still plan to maintain our individual accounts for our paychecks and for paying bills.  Most financial planners advise this type of arrangement.

    Post # 10
    Member
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I am basically a house wife for the summer, since I work at a school. We have one joint account and we both have our seperate accounts. That works for us. If having two seperate accounts works for you, then leave it be. Whatever makes your lives easier!

    Post # 11
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I don’t know that it is “wrong”, but we found it to be inconvenient and not reflective of our “we are a team, and each of us rises and falls on the success and tribulations of the other” mentality.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6513 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It’s not what we do but it’s not wrong.

    I know plenty of people that keep their finances totally separate and it works for them. Do what works for you and ignore other people’s remarks.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It would drive me nuts to have a combined checking account.

    DH and I have separate finances and accounts. However, the money is all “ours” and everything is shared, if you know what I mean. We just find it easier to keep track of our own individual expenditures. If either of us comes up short or needs anything, we ask.  Although he never asks me; it’s usually the other way around.  🙂

    We do have a combined savings account that I raid on a regular basis, LOL. 

     

     

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    DO what works for you. We opened up a joint account to deposit all our wedding money in, which is now used for large purchases.  We also have a joint credit card.  We kept everythign else the same (aka separate).  He pays mortgage and car payments, I pay the small bills.  Neither of us felt like changing banks and it just works for us that way.  All our accounts are linked so we ecan move money around as necessary.  I don’t see the big deal at all. Personally, I don’t want to see everything he buys, nor do I want him to see every little thing I buy.  

    He pays for target trips, I pay for groceries and he pays when we eat out.  We don’t feel the need to keep a score sheet and have everything be equal.  If you’re the type that likes to split everything 50/50, then a combined account might work better.  We just have the places we pay for and over time it all evens out, and if it doesn’t it doesn’t matter since even though we have separate accounts, we still consider all of the money “our” money.

    Post # 15
    Hostess
    22136 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Some people are always going to think their way is “right,” and any other way is therefore “wrong.” Your finances affect you and your FI only, so just do whatever works for you!

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @jesssamesssa:  First mistake: don’t tell people how you manage your finances. They will always judge and it’s a personal choice. There is no right or wrong way, it is all about what works for you – which may not work for another couple. My theory: if it’s not broken, don’t fix it. You found something that works? Awesome! Don’t change it until it doesn’t (if that ever happens).

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