Is it rude and selfish to cancel our wedding and elope?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
110 posts
Blushing bee

Even if it was selfish-It’s your wedding. 

It’s a perfect time to be selfish.


This time is about yuo and your fiance and your daughter. Do what makes you the most happy! 

Post # 3
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

Not at all. Just do it. 

Post # 4
314 posts
Helper bee

I had a friend who had a big wedding planned and then cancelled it and eloped.  Honestly, I was relieved, but mostly because I would have had to travel and my work schedule makes it really hard for me to get away and I was scared I wouldn’t be able to go.  I have been thinking about eloping or having a very intimate wedding at the most.  I think when it is your wedding you can do what you want.  If you think you will regret eloping then you may want to consider still having a ceremony.  However, if you think you will be just as happy, or happier, getting married with just your Fiance and your daughter there, I say go for it!  

Post # 5
481 posts
Helper bee

sandy85:  Go for it!! Your wedding is definitely a time when you should do what’s best for you, and I think that would be eloping.

Post # 6
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

sandy85:  Selfish? Yes, absolutely! And you should be!

Your wedding is about you and your FI and you don’t owe it to anybody else to live up to their expectations of your wedding.

Post # 7
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Its not.  But I would suggest you both say to parents, etc.  This is the deal.  Very small wedding.  Imediate family only  plus each of us gets 4 friends.  Anyone doesnt like it, we are eloping. 

Post # 8
5767 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

The only time I would say not to cancel the wedding and elope would be if people have already bought plane tickets or other non-refundable travel purchases. If someone has already come out of pocket to attend, then it’s a really bad move to cancel on them.

Post # 10
1300 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

It is your special day to do what ever you wish. 


Post # 11
481 posts
Helper bee

sandy85:  We’re eloping, too, and that’s one of the things we love about it! You sound so much happier when you talk about eloping than when you talked about the wedding – I think you know what you need to do! 

Post # 12
25 posts
  • Wedding: November 2015

Good for you to be so daring! It takes some guts to do that and it sounds like eloping is exactly what you and your family need to do! It will be a lot more stress free and enjoyable for all three of you. Leave the pushy, negative minded others out so that your day is beautiful and memorable just like it should be 😉

Post # 13
314 posts
Helper bee

How much have you already put down for deposits (venue, catering, etc)? Those likely are not refundable. And how much of your parents’ money did you already spend? Eloping would probably make them VERY angry and they’d probably want you to pay them back.

You shouldn’t let these people bully you! the next person that mentions the 50 Shade of Gray movie- you respond “THANKS FOR CARING MORE ABOUT SOFT CORE FETISH PORN THAN MY WEDDING!”

Post # 14
230 posts
Helper bee

While I absolutely think you should do what will make you and your future hubbie the happiest, it sounds like you may be having a momentary freakout. Would it help taking a week off of all things wedding? Just a thought. 🙂 Also +1000 to Yumcheez, I’m laughing out loud right now. 🙂

Post # 15
2385 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

sandy85:  We had the same issues and more while planning a traditional wedding. We ended up scrapping it all & having a tiny wedding on the beach in mexico for less than half the cost. Just me & DH, my brother & his gf, and Dh’s brother  & his wife. It was amazing and even a year and a half later we are both still over the moon happy with our decision. It’s up to you & your FI but if it will make you both the happiest I say do it! We were together for 8 yrs when we got married & it just felt right to start our marriage (finally) with just us, the way it has been for the past 8 yrs… 

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