Post # 1
Im moving 500 miles to FIs hometown and the wedding will be there. That said Im guessing 90% of the guests will be Fi’s. My family has pretty much all passed and FI has a big family.
Ive only met immediate family and hes inviting aunts, cousins etc.. His Mom God Bless her is totally socially awkward. Id like to meet all these people before the wedding..Is it rude to put a bug in FIs ear that a shower might be a nice idea? Maybe one of his aunts could host a family thing of some sort..I dont know..Id kill him if he went to her and said that I wanted one…But i kind of do….lol
Post # 3
Maybe don’t suggest a shower per se, but say you would like to have a family BBQ or get together so you can meet all of them. Save the shower for later, but do suggest something along the lines of a casual BBQ to get to know everyone. Then once you have met everyone, let them throw you the shower. I think a shower would be an inappropriate time to get to know everyone. Its almsot like saying “I don’t know you but you should buy me stuff” which I don’t think is your intention AT ALL, but it may come off that way. Just suggest a casual family thing at a park or someone’s house if there is a big enough one. It could be really fun.
Post # 4
I dont see the trouble or “wrong” in putting a bug in his hear; but being a man (that most men are lol) I’d make it crystal clear, what you want his mom and aunt to know! He could say something like “You know were going to be far from her hometown, maybe you ladies could put something together nice for her to welcome her into our family!“
I hope you dont feel alone, I know my FI is going through the same thing being semi-drowned by ALL the family I have on my side. But I have no problem speaking up for the things he wants that his family might not “think of!” Of course we make sure do it with tact/class! =)
Best of luck! XO
Post # 5
I don’t think that’s rude at all.
But if you just want to meet them, you could always just have a get together or something. I had that issue with some of our guests, I really wanted to have met everyone before the wedding so I told my husband and he made it happen.
Post # 6
thanks girls..its just hard bc im in Canada hes in the US so my time to travel down is limited..So we may have one or two visits before I move..as soon as i get my visa the next time i enter its to get married..complicates so much..Right now I have a week in July to venue hunt..I need 3 in case places are booked when i get the ok…and a long weekend in August to attend his company picnic..I dont think ill be back until a couple weeks before the wedding..
I just shes so socially unaware i dont think it would ever cross her mind..
Post # 7
If it makes you feel better, I apparently put the bug in my in-laws ears to throw us an engagement party! lol It wasn’t what I meant to do at all, but I knew that I wanted a chance to celebrate a bit with a couple of our friends in the Netherlands before we moved to the US for who knew how long. When my in-laws heard that we were planning on meeting up with some of our friends for a “pre-wedding reception”, they decided that they would like to do a bigger party with all the family in the Netherlands as well as Anton’s soon to be ex-co-workers.
I like the suggestion of a welcome bbq or perhaps an engagement party like we did. We have a slightly different situation then you since we were moving away from my in-laws, but it was amazing and awesome to get a chance to get to know them and I know they felt the same way – it gave them a chance to meet the lady that was taking their son/cousin/nephew away from them.
I hope you get your chance at the same thing! 🙂