Is it rude not to invite her?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it rude not to invite her?
    Yes : (9 votes)
    13 %
    No : (61 votes)
    85 %
    Other (explain) : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    122 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    No it isn’t rude at all. Obviously if you’re not close with her and she isn’t in your bridal party then it would be kinda weird for her to be invited anyway, IMO.

    Post # 4
    442 posts
    Helper bee

    @gingerkitten:  I looked over your most recent posts since I’ve seen the others – is she actually “making nice” now? Has she apologized or at least stopped actively disliking you?

    I think it depends a lot on the situation. Are the groomsmen doing anything? If everyone besides her is doing stuff with the bridal party/family, it would be very nice to invite her. It wouldn’t be rude not to, but it would suck for her to be alone for the whole night. But that’s only if she’s been nice. If she’s still a bitch, then she’s going to be rude and dislike you/the wedding anyway, so it really doesn’t matter.

    If her boyfriend is free and able to spend the night with her, then it’s not a problem. I’m sure they would enjoy as many nights alone in an Italian villa as possible.

    Post # 5
    4163 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    if I understand your post correctly, it’s only your bridal party at the slumber party? In that case, no, it’s certainly not rude. While I didn’t have a slumber party, my two MOHs came back to my room (we all stayed at the same hotel) after the rehearsal dinner, and the three of us hung out for a couple of hours (and I did more damage to a bottle of wine than I should it.) It was a great time, and I specifically kept it to those two- I could have had 10 other women in the room (SIL, MIL, aunts, etc.), but that wasn’t what I wanted. Your day, your way. 🙂

    Post # 6
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    @gingerkitten:  Even if it is rude, I think it would cause you stress the night before your wedding. That being said,  I don’t think it’s being rude. You obviously don’t like each other (that doesn’t seem to be a secret to anyone), so while she may feel left out if her bf is doing stuff with your FH I think she would be fine.

    Post # 7
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    @gingerkitten:  Based on your previous posts she appears to be an attention loving strumpet. I doubt that she is so very oblivious that she believes you two are besties. If she brings up the fact that she was not invited later, feign shock and say you’ve been so stressed with the wedding that you hadn’t even thought about it. In the meantime enjoy your strumpet free slumber party!

    Post # 8
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    Nope, not rude at all. She’s not in the bridal party. Done.

    Plus, there’s no reason for to even know about it, unless people talk about it in front of her.

    Post # 9
    2700 posts
    Sugar bee

    Not pay off the bridal party, not invited. Her feelings might be hurt but you can’t please everyone. 

    Post # 10
    7240 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    You’ve written not one, not two, but three venting posts about her. You just care about how you’ll look, nothing to do with hurting her feelings. Screw it, you arent friends, you dont care care for her (vice versa), shes not in the bridal party….seems like a clear no to me. 

    Post # 12
    32 posts

    I wouldnt say so, if she isnt a part of the bridal party, then it would be weird to invite her, being as shes not part of the party.

    Post # 14
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    If I have understood correctly…

    You are having a Slumber Party for the Girls in your Bridal Party… so NO then it wouldn’t be rude not to invite someone who isn’t in the BP

    And that is how I VOTED – NOT RUDE

    BUT you are all staying in a villa together…

    • Bride & Groom
    • Parents
    • Bridal Party & SOs

    She happens to be an SO…

    So if you have the Slumber Party, and your Groom & they Guys go out on the town, then potentially she could be left alone in the Villa with the Parents…

    Or if they have plans… she could be all alone

    OR if she had a mind to, she would either head out with the guys (her BF might invite her along… altho that is doubtful)

    OR she might curl up with a book or the Television

    BUT I wouldn’t count on it… if she is as you say she is, YES chances are good if you and the other girls are having a Slumber Party upstairs and she is all alone downstairs that curiosity will get the better of her, and she’ll come “crash” your party

    It isn’t an absolute… BUT it is a possibility

    I still wouldn’t invite her… but I’d certainly be prepared for that scenario to happen

    And YES that could be a very awkward moment (and change of events / tone of the party etc)



    Post # 15
    2247 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Not in the bridal party. Not invited to the slumber party.


    Post # 16
    1613 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @gingerkitten:  I don’t think it’s rude BUT with the villa being so small you are going to have to find a way to keep this gathering a secret from her and your guests. You don’t want some well intended guests saying to her “oh the bride and bridal party are in her room right now” and then she beg to come or just crash it.

    Find a way for you and your bridal party to sneak away around 10pm to your room to hang out and have fun.

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