Is it rude to ask another bride what she paid for something?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@MrsWinTraining2014:  Hmm…maybe a little bit of both.  Money is a touchy subject for some reason to a lot of people.  I had an acquaintance ask me what my dress cose (she just got married last month) but prefaced it with, “If you don’t mind my asking…” 

I’m not one to care and I’m always one for a deal (I was proud to tell her the steal I got my dress at!) so it really depends on the person/situation. 

Post # 4
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Asking a total stranger about money is risky. Most people do not feel comfortable discussing that sort of thing in mixed company. The sneering? Probably uncalled for. But maybe photography was a sensitive subject for her, or she was having a bad day or something. 5 of us got married within a 2 year span of time. You bet that, as close girlfriends, we talked about vendor pricing. But would we talk about it with a stranger in a face-to-face conversation? Probably not.

Post # 5
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

In a situation like that, I would have told someone no problem. I don’t think it’s rude. If it were not a fellow bride, then I would have thought it was rude.

Post # 6
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

See I got a deal for my 2k photographer so I wouldn’t mind. My friend paid 7k. His wife would be uncomfortable to answer that to a stranger. 

Post # 8
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Asking your best friend? That’s probably okay. Taking a stranger by surprise at a dress fitting? Not what I would recommend. I was not comfortable discussing what I spent on my wedding.

Post # 9
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@MrsWinTraining2014:  That was not really an appropriate question to ask a total stranger.

 

That said, it’s done, move on, live and learn. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsWinTraining2014: Personally, stranger or friend, I wouldn’t care to share how much I spent on my vendors becase I got such great deals on everything I would want to share in hopes that I might be helpful to someone.

But there are some people who are just not that comfortable sharing that infor for reasons I don’t know.

Post # 11
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Knowing that you were ANOTHER bride I personally would not have been offended at all because I would love to help others in the area to ensure they are getting the best “deal” and vice cersa. A couple of friends and I are married and if we are really in a stump with something we ask with preluding “if you don;t mind me asking…” But at the same time thats me maybe some brides are not as open or feel like a wedding is a “competition” 

I think it would be a little weird of a non-bride to ask because I would feel like it was more “judging” rather than natural curiousity…. or who knows maybe they are curious.

I remember one time I slipped and asked another bride the carat size because I was natural curious and halfwy it coming out of my mouth I was like “oh NO I shouldn’t have”. Don’t worry you won’t ever see her again.

 

Post # 12
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Honestly, yes you would have offended me, sorry. 🙁 Not so much that I would have sneered at you, but I would have felt very uncomfortable. I don’t even talk money with my friends, let alone total strangers. 

Post # 13
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsWinTraining2014:  It is generally considered inappropriate to ask strangers any questions related to money.

 

Post # 14
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s rude to ask a stranger, but not so much to inquire with recently married friends.  I don’t think I’d ever have the guts to ask a complete stranger point-blank how much they paid for anything.

Post # 15
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Asking a stranger is a bit much, but if it was an acquaintance I would ask without hesitation.

Post # 16
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think it’s less to do with money, and more to do with the fact she probably didn’t want to be involved in the awkward fight/confrontation you seemed to be having with your mother. No one wants to be the middle man, or the person that decides an argument – if your friend/sister/dad had been there, they probably wouldn’t have wanted to make a judgement about what was expensive or not, because of how the person they were disagreeing with might react.

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